As a Christian, would you date an atheist?

[geiroffenberg]

Then why does it seem like atheist marriages last longer than Christian ones?

thats a good question, I dont know if its statistically true, but ive seen statistics where some christian groups have more divocres than in the "normal" world.

The reason i believe is because of legalism. Christian tends to be unconsciously legalistic, and that is death. They will try to keep up the appearance of a good marriage, and not rely on grace at all, even if they beleive they do. In the world people have a more "whatever happens happen" kinda view and that is a more relaxed attitude that is clsoer to a grace kinda walk than the christian walk.

 

[lee-johnson]

We all have different beliefs and tolerance is an important aspect of friendship. Theology is also a favourite debate topic . So long as the core values of the individual sufficiently agreed with the religion I would consider a marriage to an atheist acceptable. That said, the marriage must be of God, so a Christian or equivalent wedding would be a mandatory requirement for I would wish to share the glory of the lord with the ignorant. This could be as simple as sharing in love and life, both seen by Christians as gifts from God. I believe God tolerates Atheism as he himself does not want to be seen, much like the Devil does not like to be known. However, behaving in a fashion which pushes from our shared values (e.g. affairs) shall obviously strain and separate. The importance here is to be open and honest with our values and the conditions of our marriage (to be agreed as vows). These should be flexible enough to cater for shared belief but firm enough to divorce on (instantly, as far as I'm concerned).

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[CrystalDragon]

We all have different beliefs and tolerance is an important aspect of friendship. Theology is also a favourite debate topic . So long as the core values of the individual sufficiently agreed with the religion I would consider a marriage to an atheist acceptable. That said, the marriage must be of God, so a Christian or equivalent wedding would be a mandatory requirement for I would wish to share the glory of the lord with the ignorant. This could be as simple as sharing in love and life, both seen by Christians as gifts from God. I believe God tolerates Atheism as he himself does not want to be seen, much like the Devil does not like to be known. However, behaving in a fashion which pushes from our shared values (e.g. affairs) shall obviously strain and separate. The importance here is to be open and honest with our values and the conditions of our marriage (to be agreed as vows). These should be flexible enough to cater for shared belief but firm enough to divorce on (instantly, as far as I'm concerned).

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But isn't it said that God desires everyone to be saved? If that's the case, why hide himself? Seems counterproductive.

 

[pdudgeon]

It's not about attractiveness though. If you happen to fall for someone who doesn't share the same faith as you do. And s/he has stuck by your side through your hard times in life, certainly you're an idiot to ignore such things. Also, 1 Corinthians 7:13

but please note in that case that the Bible is talking about a woman who doesn't believe---not a man who doesn't believe. even so, it would not be a good choice.

 

[JoeP222w]

Plenty of people, even most Christians having not read the Bible, have good morals. Atheists, Hindus, etc. all have a sense of morality.

Apart from the grace of God, no one is good. If you claim that someone can claim to have good morals and reject the truth of God, you are not understanding the word of God.

(Romans 3:10-12)

 

[bcbsr]

I think this is why Christians are labeled as tight-ass people whom a lot of non-believers hate. I see your type of people when I was in college as your type of people even only want to be friends with fellow Christians. I think you should start learning how to loosen up a bit, enjoy life, and be a good person. Stop taking God's word literally and word per word.

Why would I want to be friends with those who hate me?

 

[pdudgeon]

This is why Christians get a bad rep. You guys can live in your tiny little bubble of y'all that isnt flippin reality.

Thank God it isn't reality!
if we had to live in this world as our only hope,
we would be up a creek without a paddle.

 

[pdudgeon]

thats a good question, I dont know if its statistically true, but ive seen statistics where some christian groups have more divocres than in the "normal" world.

The reason i believe is because of legalism. Christian tends to be unconsciously legalistic, and that is death. They will try to keep up the appearance of a good marriage, and not rely on grace at all, even if they beleive they do. In the world people have a more "whatever happens happen" kinda view and that is a more relaxed attitude that is clsoer to a grace kinda walk than the christian walk.

actually it's just the opposite of grace. It's called license.
Grace on the one hand fully recognizes what is both moral and immoral, and chooses out of love to extend grace which is unearned and undeserved as a way to reach out and gently draw back the sinner into the fold.

License is the self-serving repudiation of morality, and instead creates it's own idea of what is good: that which is pleasing to the senses.

the reason some Christian groups have more (or as many) divorces as the world is because they have adopted the values of the world while still calling themselves Christians.
But in reality all they've done is to adapt the partial sayings of the Gospel to their own worldly culture, leaving out the part that relates to God or His justice, or Jesus' sacrifice for us because of our sin.

In fact in some churches these days sin isn't even mentioned any more.

 

[JacksBratt]

If Christ is the center of a relationship or marriage, more likely to survive.
If Christ is in the boat, it will not sink no matter the wind or the storms

You do realize that if a woman is a Christian, and the man is not, the woman is to submit to the man, even if his ways are not Christian, don't you?

1 Peter 3:1King James Version (KJV)

3 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

This would be very difficult to do, I think.

However, why would you date someone if you were not planning on having a long term relationship and then marriage? You date to see if the person is right for you. If they do not have the same beliefs, then your answer is "stop" go no further.

Marriage is tough enough as it is, with same thinking people. There is a reason why the Bible says not to be unequally yoked.

 

[smithed64]

Plenty of people, even most Christians having not read the Bible, have good morals. Atheists, Hindus, etc. all have a sense of morality.

This topic of Morality is a huge topic. So, just going to make a couple of real quick points, that's all.

There Objective and Subjective morals.

“Objective” means “independent of people’s (including one’s own) opinion.” “Subjective” means “just a matter of personal opinion.” If we do have objective moral duties, then in the various circumstances in which we find ourselves we are obligated or forbidden to do various actions, regardless of what we think.

Atheism and those others that do not believe in God, typically are in the Subjective moral ranks.
As it says above, it's just a matter of personal opinion.

Christianity typically are in the Objective moral ranks. We ought to do and ought not to do things, despite what we think or feel. It isn't about us, It's about God and His Word, which we have faith in and believe.

So, marrying or dating an Atheist, could be problematic, because of the moral difference of thought and actions.

This is why the Bible tells us to not be unequally yoked. Also why as Children of God, we aren't to be part of the World. We are to be a peculiar people. Separated from the World.

And no one is good, not one of us.

Then why does it seem like atheist marriages last longer than Christian ones?

Where did you get this information from?
I've been to the cdc.gov where they keep very detail records of marriage stats. Cannot locate anything on the different beliefs. Not saying they are not there. I just could not find anything. Just want to update any stats that I may have that are incorrect.

 

[GirdYourLoins]

One of the problems as I see it is that non-Christians may feel that their Chrisitian partner does not love them as much as they love the Christian. Almost to the point that they feel it is adultery with God. As Christians we are called to love God with all our heart, mins, soul and strength. Although we love our partners we also have another love and they find that hard to cope with. By contrast they are focused entrely on us and the rest of the family. To them we are giving time, money and commitment to someone they dont believe exists and His church.

An old pastor of mine used to describe a Christian marriage as 2 people together looking to God and an unbelievers marriage as 2 people loking at each other. After time they will see the imperfections in each other which can become the focus of their relationship. You know, like when someone has a spot on their nose and you can't help but keep looking at it. But if you have a Christian and non-Christian there is a clear problem in viewpoint.

 

[Greg J.]

Unlike most of the long philosophical threads, this one's a simple question. As a Christian, would you date an atheist? Or as an atheist would you date a Christian? Why or why not?

It depends on what you mean by date, but if you mean something that could possibly head toward marriage, then it is sort of impossible. Interacting with Jesus and knowing him better is the focus of my life. If she also didn't have that focus, we would not connect more deeply than as acquaintances. We would be opposed to each other about everything, because for me, everything involves Jesus.

Third, because my wife would probably object.

It's a good sign about you that you don't know if she would or not.

 

[Widlast]

Plenty of people, even most Christians having not read the Bible, have good morals. Atheists, Hindus, etc. all have a sense of morality.

That's not what I have seen at all. Perhaps I've been traveling to the wrong places.
Most of the folks I've met around the world don't have the morals God gave an alley cat.

 

[CrystalDragon]

Apart from the grace of God, no one is good. If you claim that someone can claim to have good morals and reject the truth of God, you are not understanding the word of God.

(Romans 3:10-12)

The truth of God has moments where it doesn't exactly teach the best morals (Numbers 31:16 for instance)

And considering that passage you posted, if no one is good, then that includes Christians, so citing that you can't have morals if you don't understand God's word is hypocritical if no one has morals to begin with.

And people can perform acts that we consider moral even if they aren't Christians.

Thank God it isn't reality!
if we had to live in this world as our only hope,
we would be up a creek without a paddle.

Nonbelievers somehow manage just fine.

You do realize that if a woman is a Christian, and the man is not, the woman is to submit to the man, even if his ways are not Christian, don't you?

1 Peter 3:1King James Version (KJV)

3 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

This would be very difficult to do, I think.

However, why would you date someone if you were not planning on having a long term relationship and then marriage? You date to see if the person is right for you. If they do not have the same beliefs, then your answer is "stop" go no further.

Marriage is tough enough as it is, with same thinking people. There is a reason why the Bible says not to be unequally yoked.

I feel like saying that women submitting to their husbands opens up the possibility of abuse.

This topic of Morality is a huge topic. So, just going to make a couple of real quick points, that's all.

There Objective and Subjective morals.

“Objective” means “independent of people’s (including one’s own) opinion.” “Subjective” means “just a matter of personal opinion.” If we do have objective moral duties, then in the various circumstances in which we find ourselves we are obligated or forbidden to do various actions, regardless of what we think.

Atheism and those others that do not believe in God, typically are in the Subjective moral ranks.
As it says above, it's just a matter of personal opinion.

Christianity typically are in the Objective moral ranks. We ought to do and ought not to do things, despite what we think or feel. It isn't about us, It's about God and His Word, which we have faith in and believe.

So, marrying or dating an Atheist, could be problematic, because of the moral difference of thought and actions.

This is why the Bible tells us to not be unequally yoked. Also why as Children of God, we aren't to be part of the World. We are to be a peculiar people. Separated from the World.

And no one is good, not one of us.



Where did you get this information from?
I've been to the cdc.gov where they keep very detail records of marriage stats. Cannot locate anything on the different beliefs. Not saying they are not there. I just could not find anything. Just want to update any stats that I may have that are incorrect.

"Objective" and "subjective" morality is something that I've heard a lot. Sometimes I even see people say that if the Bible turned out to be untrue, they would go around hurting people because they'd see no reason to be moral. That's terrifying. Morality is judged on what is the greatest good for the greatest number of people, and as social beings we all build a morality that helps us to coexist peacefully as a society. And some of the stuff in the Bible most certainly doesn't follow that, so saying to rely strictly on God's word for morality isn't even the kindest option.

As for your ques regarding the success of atheist marriages, here's an example: Atheist marriages may last longer than Christian ones. I could find other sources if you wish.

 

[ChristianFromKazakhstan]

Any kind of long-running union must be based on unity. Otherwise, it won't work.

 

[JoeP222w]

The truth of God has moments where it doesn't exactly teach the best morals (Numbers 31:16 for instance)

From the context, God commanded the people of Israel to carry out divine capital punishment against a wicked and idolatrous people in rebellion to God. What does that say about your perspective if you side with rebel sinners against God?

And considering that passage you posted, if no one is good, then that includes Christians, so citing that you can't have morals if you don't understand God's word is hypocritical if no one has morals to begin with.

You missed the qualifier I used, "apart from the grace of God". Those who are in Christ are in the grace of God. No one can do good, in and of themselves, of their own efforts. Moreover, God gave man a conscience, so man knows what is righteous, in their sin, they suppress the truth of God. (Romans 1:18)

And people can perform acts that we consider moral even if they aren't Christians.

Again, not apart from the grace of God. If they are doing it, and reject the truth of God, they are doing for their own sinful, selfish motives (they may not admit it, or even be blind to it themselves, but man is utterly incapable of doing good, moral acts of themselves).

 

[JoeP222w]

Nonbelievers somehow manage just fine.

Only by the common grace of God.

 

[JoeP222w]

Morality is judged on what is the greatest good for the greatest number of people, and as social beings we all build a morality that helps us to coexist peacefully as a society.

The people of Germany who were not Jews just prior to World War II felt the same way, and it led to the death of more than 6 million Jews. The same could be said of the holocaust of Abortion today.

This is not how morality is defined. Morality is objectively defined by God as to what is righteous by His perfect standard of Jesus Christ, not subjective arbitrary means of evil man.

 

[JacksBratt]

I feel like saying that women submitting to their husbands opens up the possibility of abuse.

Of course it does. That is the point of making sure that you are married to a good Christian man who loves God and follows the scriptural role of a Husband.

The scriptural role of a husband is to treat his wife as if she was part of his own flesh, or her body is his body. How can you abuse your wife and follow this scriptural role.

The husband has the responsibility of the safety of the whole family. He must make decisions based on the best interest of the family and the home. Not his own desires, wants and dreams. His first responsibility is to God, then his wife, then his kids. Do you see any thought about his own needs there?

This topic is easily twisted by the world and presented as a method of promoting or condoning men to rule with a fist.... look at it again, from the Biblical view. It is quite the opposite.

A woman is supposed to submit on her own will, not forced in any way. A woman that does this will have honored her husband and God.

A man that abuses a woman based on this scripture, is a fool and a bully and dishonors God, his wife, his family and himself.

 

[JacksBratt]

I think this is why Christians are labeled as tight-ass people whom a lot of non-believers hate. I see your type of people when I was in college as your type of people even only want to be friends with fellow Christians. I think you should start learning how to loosen up a bit, enjoy life, and be a good person. Stop taking God's word literally and word per word.

I have more non-christian friends than christian friends. I do not hate non christians at all. I can work, play, hang out with, travel with, laugh with and cry with non-christians.

This was not what you asked. You asked "would I date an atheist" I don't hate atheists either, but not all non-christians are atheists.

What I want to give as advice is if you find out something about someone that you are dating, that would keep you from marriage, stop, let them go.... move on. You can be friends but why carry on a dead end, close and intimate relationship. That is if you want to get married some day.

So, if you are a Christian gal, take it from those who have been married...... don't marry a non-christian, it will only cause division at some point down the road. This is inevitable.

Running into conflicts in opinions and decision on life's trials is tough enough when both people love God and turn to Him for direction. You will regret it anytime that one of the people doesn't even believe God exists.