"Appropriate" love of God/Jesus

[Neogaia777]

Some people are very passionate about their love for God, or Jesus and I think that's great, but some, in their exploration of love, I think can get caught up in perhaps an inappropriate relationship with God. Being emotional is good, I guess, but some love Jesus with the passion of some kind of secret lover, I want to love him as a friend, and a father maybe, but definetly as a friend.

Females especially can come to love Jesus as some kind of revered and admired lover. But I want to know, how does one love god as a friend. Friends don't necessarily have to be all "emotional" around each other all the time. And friends don't kiss or make love to one another.

I want a normal, healthy, "love" for Jesus as a friend, these other people that are all deeply emotional about it, all of the time, are kinda scary to me. I guess I just love differently. I revere and admire Jesus greatly, and while their were emotional moments during our time spent together, not all of it has to heartbroken time, Jesus loves to see us rejoicing, and by rejoicing I mean us just living and enjoying every moment of our lives while we have them, he is there smiling during those times I think.

Some I think get lost in passion, emotion. My love for God is not like others, and makes me question whether I really love god at all... I think I do, but I'm not going to get all sensitive about it all the time.

Does this make me wrong, am I wrong about being freaked out by others who seem to have a "lover" type relationship with God.

I want to love God, and I think I do, but I see others that I think love him more or differently, and it makes me question myself.

Can one get involved in an inappropriate with God mistakingly or otherwise.

I'm not kidding a bunch of people gathered together just pouring out their emotions and then if they start speaking tounges, kind of freaks me out.

Does God want us to emotionally weak (soft) or strong (hard). There are warnings about having a hardened heart. But I don't think I have a hard heart, just a "spent" one, I've cried so many times and over soo much, that now, I hardly cry at all or feel any emotions anymore.

I want to know how this should work into my love for god.

 

[saved24]

Hi Neogaia,

I think we all have different feelings. I love Jesus, I love God as my friend and provider. God's love is a love of a Father, and a friend. Of course Jesus and God are one, and the Holy Spirit too. We love them with a love that's pure. Now the Bible talks as Jesus as our husband, but it's not quite the same just as you say. It's really the love of a friend, someone who is always there for us, and we love Him because of who He is and all He has done for us. God's love is agape love, just that God's love, the best love.

I have never heard of anyone, until you mentioned it having such an unusual love for Jesus, so I cannot really comment on what I think of those people for I have not seen this first hand.

We hear as Jesus lover of my soul, I think that's a song. I really don't think it's the same as husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend, I have never heard of anything like that before. It's just a love that is better than any other because it's Jesus, our Saviour who laid down our lives for us. It's not the love of a boyfreind and girlfriend. It's a pure, sinnless love.

I had the same question as you many years ago as a teen. I wondered if I really loved God. I felt nothing at all. I felt no love. I thought about waiting for my Mom to come home from a long journey, the anticipation, the tears of joy when she came home, I loved her so much. But did I love God? I felt no love, yes appreciation, yes thankfulness and more, but love? I felt nothing...

Well, one day I was reading from the Living Bible and it said "If you love me you will obey me". Then I knew, I loved God, Jesus, I may not have felt any feelings of love, but it did not matter. I knew I loved God because to the best of my abilities I was obeying Him, His Word. (sure I failed in my obedience at tmes, but I was trying, and that's what matters to the Lord, when we do our best) So if you are doing your best to obey God then you do love God. Feelings really don't matter. We show our love by our actions, in any relationship. You care for a freind, you will pick them up if their car broke down on the road, you will do nice things for them.

I do not think the Lord wants us to be emotionally soft, just open to Him. I don't think we are to be hard either. If you think you are too hardened, ask God to soften your heart. What we need is a heart that is compassionate for others, with God's love. I have a friend who asked the Lord to help him cry, you could do that too if you wanted. You know? we can't always trust our emotions anyways, most of the time we have to make decisions with our mind not our heart. Sometimes emotions can make us do the wrong thing eh?

I suspect your precious heart needs healing from the Lord. I pray that you will receive all the healing you need for all the emotional hurt you have had in you life.

The Lord bless you and keep you. God bless.

 

[thesunisout]

Some people are very passionate about their love for God, or Jesus and I think that's great, but some, in their exploration of love, I think can get caught up in perhaps an inappropriate relationship with God. Being emotional is good, I guess, but some love Jesus with the passion of some kind of secret lover, I want to love him as a friend, and a father maybe, but definetly as a friend.

Females especially can come to love Jesus as some kind of revered and admired lover. But I want to know, how does one love god as a friend. Friends don't necessarily have to be all "emotional" around each other all the time. And friends don't kiss or make love to one another.

I want a normal, healthy, "love" for Jesus as a friend, these other people that are all deeply emotional about it, all of the time, are kinda scary to me. I guess I just love differently. I revere and admire Jesus greatly, and while their were emotional moments during our time spent together, not all of it has to heartbroken time, Jesus loves to see us rejoicing, and by rejoicing I mean us just living and enjoying every moment of our lives while we have them, he is there smiling during those times I think.

Some I think get lost in passion, emotion. My love for God is not like others, and makes me question whether I really love god at all... I think I do, but I'm not going to get all sensitive about it all the time.

Does this make me wrong, am I wrong about being freaked out by others who seem to have a "lover" type relationship with God.

I want to love God, and I think I do, but I see others that I think love him more or differently, and it makes me question myself.

Can one get involved in an inappropriate with God mistakingly or otherwise.

I'm not kidding a bunch of people gathered together just pouring out their emotions and then if they start speaking tounges, kind of freaks me out.

Does God want us to emotionally weak (soft) or strong (hard). There are warnings about having a hardened heart. But I don't think I have a hard heart, just a "spent" one, I've cried so many times and over soo much, that now, I hardly cry at all or feel any emotions anymore.

I want to know how this should work into my love for god.

Well, if we want to know how to love God, the first thing we should consider is what scripture says:

Mark 12:30

And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment

The first thing we can note is that this is a command. It is not saying, love the Lord thy God if you feel like it. It is not saying, love the Lord thy God with some of your heart. It is saying that on this commandment, and the other like it "love thy neighbor as thyself", all of the law and the prophets hinges.

Next, we need to see what love of God is:

1 John 5:3

For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous

Scripture says, the love of God is to obey His commandments. So, we have a self-reinforcing principle here. If we love God, we will obey His commands. If we obey His commands, we will love Him. How does God respond to our love?:

John 14:21

Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him

God not only reciprocates our love, He also promises to show Himself to us, if we obey Him.

You've spoken of people being overly emotional, but I think you're looking at this entirely the wrong way. First, you cannot love someone with all of your heart, soul and mind without getting emotional. Emotion is a given when you love someone with all that you are. So, I would say that you're just not there yet. I think you probably have more head knowledge about God than heart knowledge.

The issue as you have described is that you have said you don't naturally love God that way, and I believe you. I can explain why you don't. According to the bible, love for God is a choice. It has nothing to do with some automatic reaction that you might feel. It isn't primarily about feelings, it is about choices. It has everything to do with how you choose to follow Gods commands. I'll explain.

Just about all of the commands that God gives us require us to redirect our natural dispositions from the carnal to the spiritual. They often require us to sacrifice something material, be it an object or desire or pleasure, for the greater gain of following Gods perfect will for our lives. They require us to change things about ourselves and our lifestyles that are hard to do. These are hard choices because we are programmed all of our lives to want the exact opposite of what God wants us to do.

The only way we are going to make those choices, in the end (and with the help of the Holy Spirit), is love. You have to love God more than you love whatever it is that God wants you to change. You have to care more about Gods will for your life than you do about the thing that God has commanded you to stop doing. You have to earnestly desire to please God above and beyond your natural impulse to do the opposite. John makes it pretty clear here:

1 John 2:15

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever

If you love the world you heart is divided, and you can't serve two masters. This is why it all comes back to the first commandment. It's putting God first in every circumstance. It's trusting God with your entire life, and placing your hope in His promises. It is loving God above and beyond anything, or anyone, period.

As you turn more and more of your life over to God, you will feel more love for Him. You will understand Him better, and you will know Him more deeply, and your communication will become more meaningful, and more personal. It's not like turning on a switch, or you just do this and that and then you're done. It's like any relationship; it takes time. You need to know and appreciate God. You need to understand how much He loves you.

You mentioned that you wanted to see God as just a friend. Well, that isn't exactly how God sees you. Yes, God said we could call Him friend, but God also sees you as more than that:

1 John 3:1

Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not

Galatians 4:6-7

And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father. Wherefore thou art no more a servant, but a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.

God loved us enough to die for us when we were still sinners, and even if it were just for you, He still would have gone to the cross. So, when you consider how you love God, consider how He loves you. Love will also come from the gratitude that you feel for everything God has done (and does) for you. Look what scripture says:

For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.

Psalms 139:13-18

His thoughts for us are more than the grains of sand in the world. His love for us goes beyond our understanding. It is written that no eyes has seen, nor ear heard, nor has the heart of man imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him.

So, think on these things. Love will come from obedience. Put God first in all things and you will start to understand what these other Christians are feelings. More importantly, ask God to give you more love for Him, in prayer. Ask Him to open the floodgates and pour out His Spirit upon you. Scripture says, draw near to God and He will draw near to you. We were created to worship God and be in intimate relationship with Him. Scripture draws the parallel between a bridegroom and bride (the church). That may seem foreign to you at the moment, but explore it, and see what it means to you. God considers love inappropiate when it isn't sincere, and from the heart. Hope this helps bro. I'll pray for you.

 

[someguy14]

Some people are very passionate about their love for God, or Jesus and I think that's great, but some, in their exploration of love, I think can get caught up in perhaps an inappropriate relationship with God. Being emotional is good, I guess, but some love Jesus with the passion of some kind of secret lover, I want to love him as a friend, and a father maybe, but definetly as a friend.

All things are good to all of those that are pure in heart. God is all! Every true goodness you find in a person, comes only from God. Goodness can only come from God, He created it. Thank you God alone!.

Females especially can come to love Jesus as some kind of revered and admired lover. But I want to know, how does one love god as a friend. Friends don't necessarily have to be all "emotional" around each other all the time. And friends don't kiss or make love to one another.

Picture Him wrapping you in His arms and protecting you. Laying down His life for you at any cost. He does love His own with all Himself.

I want a normal, healthy, "love" for Jesus as a friend, these other people that are all deeply emotional about it, all of the time, are kinda scary to me. I guess I just love differently. I revere and admire Jesus greatly, and while their were emotional moments during our time spent together, not all of it has to heartbroken time, Jesus loves to see us rejoicing, and by rejoicing I mean us just living and enjoying every moment of our lives while we have them, he is there smiling during those times I think.

He is our only true friend, continously. He never fails. Mankind sufferers many battles upon this earth, whether physically or mentally or spiritually mental or physical. Speak to Him in His word. When you are reminded of a verse that Jesus spoke in the Gospels, thank Him. He is Wonderful!

Some I think get lost in passion, emotion. My love for God is not like others, and makes me question whether I really love god at all... I think I do, but I'm not going to get all sensitive about it all the time.

Relax. Joy for The Lord is a good thing. If your thinking another is going too far with "emotionalism", pray for them. God can correct them, or you. All things are good with God.

Does this make me wrong, am I wrong about being freaked out by others who seem to have a "lover" type relationship with God.

God is all life. God is all that is all. When one finds the Love of God, one is able to love another the way love truely is.

I want to love God, and I think I do, but I see others that I think love him more or differently, and it makes me question myself.

It is personal, that is not a bad thing. God created us, each one of us. He has a Love that conquers every other. Give it all to God. He is The only one that knows us intimately, fully. We glimpse at one another, God knows each of us fully.

I want to know how this should work into my love for god.

Give everything to God, literally and spiritually. All of it. He cares for all of His children and desires to help each of His own to come to the full knowledge of Him and Him alone, for He is The only knowledge.

 

[tackattack]

I'm reading this awesome book called Love and Respect by Dr. Eggerichs. It's been teaching me a lot about how the differences between men and women causes them to perceieve and desire things differently. I agree with the author that generally women desire and expereince emotional love at a different level than men. I wouldn't be so concenred, with not being overly emotional. For me, it's not about how much I love God (I do, deeply and reverently) but more how much I give all authority to Him in my life. To me that is the deepest love. I'm sure my wife would say something having less to do with authority and generally "mushier" but the results of both is the same. We put God first in everything, and God is the epitome of what we desire and seek in our lives.

 

[wayseer]

I want to know how this should work into my love for god.

Unfortunately we humans almost invariable equate love with sexual activity. Yet the intensity of sexual love may well represent the intensity one feels for God.

The Songs text is very much about this love. It was, at a stage in my path, a very significant text. Songs 3 still rips me apart. In essence, humanity is female and God male - which is why there is so many reference to marriage and brides mentioned throughout the biblical texts..

I am again reminded this Easter about the Love Mary had for Jesus. At the tomb all she could think about was that Jesus was 'absent' - then she heard Jesus call her by name and she held him and could not let him go. Power stuff.

But I also have concern with the hyper emotionalism I see in some churches. I think this may at times get close to idolatry - some are in love with idea of love.

But we all go through stages. And going through stages means we are learning. So I would encourage you to go with your own feelings and no try and emulate, for whatever reasons, the feelings that others may be experiencing. And remember, all our experiences of God are individual and your are just as genuine as anyone else's.

 

[1an]

Our love can be different depending on whether it is love for our parents, love for our children, love for our brothers and sisters or the love we have for our partner.

I think of God, and I include Jesus here, as my heavenly father and my love for God is similar to the love I had for my father, it is respectful, admiring, I am proud to be associated with him, he was generous, kind and protective.

My love for my daughter is just as strong and I love her in the same way I think God loves me. Either way it is not a silly, emotional love, more of a hard-headed, realistic, sensible, acceptance of her foibles and a steadfast enduring love.

.

 

[tturt]

Wonder why it's ok for us to scream and yell for our favorite football team but we don't want one expression of emotion in church? (not recommending screaming and yelling in church either but trying to show we have double standards. We can show our enthusiasm and support and love for someone anywhere else but church.

 

[1an]

Wonder why it's ok for us to scream and yell for our favorite football team but we don't want one expression of emotion in church? (not recommending screaming and yelling in church either but trying to show we have double standards. We can show our enthusiasm and support and love for someone anywhere else but church.

.
We do show emotion though, at least in the Pentecostal churches I am familiar with, and even some Anglican churches and I am sure there must be others? We clap, raise our hands to the Lord, some dance (have you been to the Jamaican churches?) these are the Praise and Worship services I am talking about, don't the Psalms speak of praising the Lord "with dancing and making music to the Lord with tambourine and harp?"

.

 

[Neogaia777]

Wonder why it's ok for us to scream and yell for our favorite football team but we don't want one expression of emotion in church? (not recommending screaming and yelling in church either but trying to show we have double standards. We can show our enthusiasm and support and love for someone anywhere else but church.

Why is that? I notice it can become a competition in church, who shows the most emotion about a matter, at least in the churches where they yell and scream.

It seems unnatural to me, because some people (pastors) become good actors, seeming to have developed an emotional "switch" that they can just turn on and off. I've had plenty of emotional moments and experiences with God, but they came in the moment, and most of the time in private. When I have emotionally overflowing feelings I express them to God in private, and sometimes I cry.

I understand most of the people in a congregation, most of its followers, are expressing genuinely heartfelt (at the time and "in" the moment emotions that they otherwise didn't know where else to go to express) but, I just hope that some don't develop and emotional switch that they can just turn on and off, like actors do, because actors are fake and don't live up to their images, and I don't want the church to become this way.

A Job of a preacher or a spiritual leader must be difficult, especially the ones where the preacher is expected to be emotional alot. Doesn't he ever feel "spent" emotionally and out of tears, like I do.

I've discussed everything under the sun with God, but it still doesn't change a thing. All that's left afterward is to enjoy life, and go on, but how do you enjoy life when you've become emotionally numb?

 

[Neogaia777]

Do we have a division here then, one believes in encouraging expressing these thoughts feelings in an open congregation, and moan and wail to God before witnesses in the congregation, some will wait all week, and then choose to release these feelings on the sabbath, before the entire congregation. Another believes in a more solemn assembly, but that these feelings shouldn't wait to be displayed before others, but that you should maybe find a private place and release these feelings before God, then and there, In the moment.

 

[1an]

Do we have a division here then, one believes in encouraging expressing these thoughts feelings in an open congregation, and moan and wail to God before witnesses in the congregation, some will wait all week, and then choose to release these feelings on the sabbath, before the entire congregation. Another believes in a more solemn assembly, but that these feelings shouldn't wait to be displayed before others, but that you should maybe find a private place and release these feelings before God, then and there, In the moment.

Probably not division, just different people, different temperaments, an understanding that there is a time and place for everything (Ecclesiastes 3) and an acknowledgement of the greatness of the Lord.

"You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being." Revelation 4:11


Here are some scriptures for your consideration: -

Psalm 97:11-12 - "Light is shed upon the righteous and joy on the upright in heart. Rejoice in the LORD, you who are righteous, and praise his holy name."

Psalm 118:24 - "This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."

Proverbs 15:13 - "A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit."

Proverbs 17:22 - "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."

Isaiah 35:10 - "And the ransomed of the LORD will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away."

Isaiah 55:12 - "You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands."

Nehemiah 8:10 - "Nehemiah said, 'Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.'"

John 16:22 - "So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy."

You may not agree with this or like it, but these young people who will experience the whole gamut of emotions in their lives did my heart good.


Joy, Joy Down in My Heart - YouTube

 

[Neogaia777]

Well, if we want to know how to love God, the first thing we should consider is what scripture says:

Mark 12:30

And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment

The first thing we can note is that this is a command. It is not saying, love the Lord thy God if you feel like it. It is not saying, love the Lord thy God with some of your heart. It is saying that on this commandment, and the other like it "love thy neighbor as thyself", all of the law and the prophets hinges.

Next, we need to see what love of God is:

1 John 5:3

For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous

Scripture says, the love of God is to obey His commandments. So, we have a self-reinforcing principle here. If we love God, we will obey His commands. If we obey His commands, we will love Him. How does God respond to our love?:

John 14:21

Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him

God not only reciprocates our love, He also promises to show Himself to us, if we obey Him.

You've spoken of people being overly emotional, but I think you're looking at this entirely the wrong way. First, you cannot love someone with all of your heart, soul and mind without getting emotional. Emotion is a given when you love someone with all that you are. So, I would say that you're just not there yet. I think you probably have more head knowledge about God than heart knowledge.

The issue as you have described is that you have said you don't naturally love God that way, and I believe you. I can explain why you don't. According to the bible, love for God is a choice. It has nothing to do with some automatic reaction that you might feel. It isn't primarily about feelings, it is about choices. It has everything to do with how you choose to follow Gods commands. I'll explain.

Just about all of the commands that God gives us require us to redirect our natural dispositions from the carnal to the spiritual. They often require us to sacrifice something material, be it an object or desire or pleasure, for the greater gain of following Gods perfect will for our lives. They require us to change things about ourselves and our lifestyles that are hard to do. These are hard choices because we are programmed all of our lives to want the exact opposite of what God wants us to do.

The only way we are going to make those choices, in the end (and with the help of the Holy Spirit), is love. You have to love God more than you love whatever it is that God wants you to change. You have to care more about Gods will for your life than you do about the thing that God has commanded you to stop doing. You have to earnestly desire to please God above and beyond your natural impulse to do the opposite. John makes it pretty clear here:

1 John 2:15

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever

If you love the world you heart is divided, and you can't serve two masters. This is why it all comes back to the first commandment. It's putting God first in every circumstance. It's trusting God with your entire life, and placing your hope in His promises. It is loving God above and beyond anything, or anyone, period.

As you turn more and more of your life over to God, you will feel more love for Him. You will understand Him better, and you will know Him more deeply, and your communication will become more meaningful, and more personal. It's not like turning on a switch, or you just do this and that and then you're done. It's like any relationship; it takes time. You need to know and appreciate God. You need to understand how much He loves you.

You mentioned that you wanted to see God as just a friend. Well, that isn't exactly how God sees you. Yes, God said we could call Him friend, but God also sees you as more than that:

1 John 3:1

Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not

Galatians 4:6-7

And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father. Wherefore thou art no more a servant, but a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.

God loved us enough to die for us when we were still sinners, and even if it were just for you, He still would have gone to the cross. So, when you consider how you love God, consider how He loves you. Love will also come from the gratitude that you feel for everything God has done (and does) for you. Look what scripture says:

For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.

Psalms 139:13-18

His thoughts for us are more than the grains of sand in the world. His love for us goes beyond our understanding. It is written that no eyes has seen, nor ear heard, nor has the heart of man imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him.

So, think on these things. Love will come from obedience. Put God first in all things and you will start to understand what these other Christians are feelings. More importantly, ask God to give you more love for Him, in prayer. Ask Him to open the floodgates and pour out His Spirit upon you. Scripture says, draw near to God and He will draw near to you. We were created to worship God and be in intimate relationship with Him. Scripture draws the parallel between a bridegroom and bride (the church). That may seem foreign to you at the moment, but explore it, and see what it means to you. God considers love inappropiate when it isn't sincere, and from the heart. Hope this helps bro. I'll pray for you.

Thank You very much for your very thoughtful and heartfelt reply… Thank you all, in here. I don’t quite have the words to express how much all you’ve said means to me. Everything you’ve said is correct.

I do get emotional with God in private, but I like to keep those matters private, I’m not use to expressing them before others. There’s nothing wrong with it (being emotional) in front of God and before others, I actually kind of envy some of them, often they seem to get really broken down or otherwise emotional before god, and then, afterward they seem to be risen anew, as if it were some kind of burden relieved off of them or they were washed clean or something.

These are really good people, and I would love to count myself among them, but I’m not like them, Well, I do these things in private with God, perhaps in that way I might be like them. But, anyways I admire these people, who seem to go into church and get washed clean (emotionally?) every week. I often think “I need something like that”

There are times I just wanna fall to my knees before God and pour my heart out to him, and as if your giving/leaving it all in his hands, but every time I have this feeling, I also get another more disturbing feeling comes along with the feeling of wanting to fall to my knees before him, a weird grin or chagrin comes across my face that I can’t control, and I don’t know where it comes from, perhaps a part of me that doesn’t want to kneel.

But, I think that these people who pour out their hearts to God before witnesses, are beautiful and I admire them, perhaps even envy them. There are times I try to dig up the emotion before God but I feel all poured out, or numb before him.

I have poured my heart out to him in private. I just don’t where I’m at with God, I’ve had a lot of “moments” with him, but I feel lost, don’t where I’m supposed to go or what I’m supposed to do next. I wish I showed some of the emotion and care that some do, that I see in others that I admire, they seem to have big unbroken hearts, that has room for everybody.

Well, Thank you all again for time and effort and heartfelt replies, see you next post, Jay.

 

[saved24]

Jay, I think it's wonderful that you can pour your heart out the Lord in private. That is really what matters. The Lord is pleased with you. God bless.