Anyone waiting for marriage, post here!

[mellani]

i regret to say i messed up, but i believe you can be a born-again virgin, and through God's help i'm committed to not making that mistake again. i DO regret losing my virginity, and doing so made me realize it's not as great as everyone says it is. and although i have so many reasons for abstaining, one of the top ones is the risk of STDs. scares me to death. another one is the complacency of some people who have sex with a different person every week. i met this guy who has had 32 partners in the past two years and doesn't see anything wrong with that. wouldn't you get tired of sex after awhile? it's not THAT fulfilling. do something that lasts longer than half an hour.

 

[mellani]

Great post and I agree. If one marries a person who has had sex before marriage it can possibly bring problems. Like, having to know that you can be compared to other people and things is just a bit scary I would think. I wish more people would save sex for marriage, there would be less heartache if people would wait.

see, when you say that, it scares me because i'm afraid that every Christian guy i meet will judge me for not waiting, and won't want to start a relationship, or even a friendship. i've had plenty of other christians judge me because i don't fit into a certain 'mold' and i'm tired of it. Jesus has forgiven me, but i haven't felt that forgiveness from the Christians i know.

 

[Sketcher]

see, when you say that, it scares me because i'm afraid that every Christian guy i meet will judge me for not waiting, and won't want to start a relationship, or even a friendship. i've had plenty of other christians judge me because i don't fit into a certain 'mold' and i'm tired of it. Jesus has forgiven me, but i haven't felt that forgiveness from the Christians i know.

It's not an issue of judgement. I've had lots of fun hanging out with forgiven non-virgins and I respect some of their walks very much. Judgement would mean not showing them that level of respect.

Not dating a girl who hasn't waited is just my personal conviction. There are people like you who marry and I won't judge them for it. I don't agree with their take on the issue, and that's my business.

 

[Nyssa]

see, when you say that, it scares me because i'm afraid that every Christian guy i meet will judge me for not waiting, and won't want to start a relationship, or even a friendship. i've had plenty of other christians judge me because i don't fit into a certain 'mold' and i'm tired of it. Jesus has forgiven me, but i haven't felt that forgiveness from the Christians i know.

Hey, I'm sorry for what you've gone through I remember the same feeling, but then I also remember what God revealed to me about what purity really is because I hadn't waited. You see how useless labels like 'virgin' and 'non-virgin', meaning physical states, really are.

 

[Aggiegal]

see, when you say that, it scares me because i'm afraid that every Christian guy i meet will judge me for not waiting, and won't want to start a relationship, or even a friendship. i've had plenty of other christians judge me because i don't fit into a certain 'mold' and i'm tired of it. Jesus has forgiven me, but i haven't felt that forgiveness from the Christians i know.

I'll give you my $0.02 about that from the other side of the coin. I have waited, but recently discovered that the man that i may marry did not. All of my life i thought for sure that God would find for me someone who had waited, but here I am in love with and seriously consitering marrying someone who did not.

I could turn around and walk away and look for someone that was a virgin, but someone else may not have all of the other great qualities that my guy has. It was pointed out to me somewhere else in this forum that just because they are a virgin doesn't mean they will be a great husband or wife.

I have realised that his past is behind him, and helped shape him to who he is today. Sure he has sined, but so have I, just in diffrent ways. We don't have lables for manipulators or non manipulators. there is also no lable for for "Ibeat up my little brother" or "I never beat up my little brother". Everyone stumbles in their walk. While it is wonderful to be able to resist sexual temptation untill marraige, it doesn't always happen and doesn't happen for all Christians.

You already understand that Jesus has forgiven you, and with that understading you will find a man who will understand too.

 

[Cornerstone05]

hey Everyone, I'm new on here. I came across this thread. I was wondering if anyone has ever done a study calle True Love Waits? I did it when I was 13, I am 19 stil hold it true to my life. God Bless

In Him,
Maya

 

[awesome liver]

NO YOU CAN'T BE A BORN-AGAIN VIRGIN because what you've done with your body has been done and therefore, there's no such thing as time travel. suck it up and live with it. it's not a sin. it's not a sin. it's not a sin. sex is good. you can tell yourself that it's evil all you want but sex is not a sin. love is not a sin. if you can equate sex as a form of physical love then it's not a sin.

 

[ascribe2thelord]

see, when you say that, it scares me because i'm afraid that every Christian guy i meet will judge me for not waiting, and won't want to start a relationship, or even a friendship. i've had plenty of other christians judge me because i don't fit into a certain 'mold' and i'm tired of it. Jesus has forgiven me, but i haven't felt that forgiveness from the Christians i know.

There is jealousy on both sides of the issue.

Christian guys who only want to marry a virgin ... myself included ... don't want to deal with that extra baggage, and would rather not obsess about it. Since I've been saving my body for the one I marry, I kind of expect the same. Otherwise, why then did I not give in? For nothing? I don't want to be judged in comparison to another, or risk her possibly cheating on me if I'm not "good enough" for her, or thought of as a second experience. I admit I do have occasional feelings of inadequacy ... I mean like probably 25-75% of guys. And 90% of virgins.

I guess it's more of a human reason than anything else, but this is something I feel kind of sensitive about.

Anyways ... I'm sure there are some Christian guys who are virgins who would be willing to marry you.

 

[ascribe2thelord]

NO YOU CAN'T BE A BORN-AGAIN VIRGIN because what you've done with your body has been done and therefore, there's no such thing as time travel. suck it up and live with it. it's not a sin. it's not a sin. it's not a sin. sex is good. you can tell yourself that it's evil all you want but sex is not a sin. love is not a sin. if you can equate sex as a form of physical love then it's not a sin.

The Bible says sexual immorality is the only sin you commit within your own body.

 

[awesome liver]

see, when you say that, it scares me because i'm afraid that every Christian guy i meet will judge me for not waiting, and won't want to start a relationship, or even a friendship. i've had plenty of other christians judge me because i don't fit into a certain 'mold' and i'm tired of it. Jesus has forgiven me, but i haven't felt that forgiveness from the Christians i know.

that's why you know you shouldn't even bother with those who find it acceptable to judge and move on to kinder gentler folk with more heart than judgement.

i for one wouldn't judge cos it'd be hypocritical and no one likes hypocrites. i'm looking your way, fundamentalists.

 

[AceHero]

NO YOU CAN'T BE A BORN-AGAIN VIRGIN because what you've done with your body has been done and therefore, there's no such thing as time travel. suck it up and live with it.

But people can accept forgiveness for what they've done. Saying that one is a "born-again virgin" makes the person feel like they're turning over a new leaf. I think you say it's impossible only because you refuse to accept that premarital sex is a sin.

it's not a sin. it's not a sin. it's not a sin. sex is good. you can tell yourself that it's evil all you want but sex is not a sin. love is not a sin. if you can equate sex as a form of physical love then it's not a sin.

But what you're talking about doesn't involve love. It involves lust. You're right—sex is good, at least under the right circumstances, i.e. marriage. It is a form of physical love but society has perverted it so much that it's now known to be just full of lusty selfish intentions. Love is supposed to be selfless.

 

[awesome liver]

But people can accept forgiveness for what they've done. Saying that one is a "born-again virgin" makes the person feel like they're turning over a new leaf. I think you say it's impossible only because you refuse to accept that premarital sex is a sin.

But what you're talking about doesn't involve love. It involves lust. You're right—sex is good, at least under the right circumstances, i.e. marriage. It is a form of physical love but society has perverted it so much that it's now known to be just full of lusty selfish intentions. Love is supposed to be selfless.

society has perverted it? i think you should remove your personal blinders planted into your head by religion. it is religion, a social insturment, that has perverted sex to be a perverse act and thus making a natural biological function of every sexually reproducing creatures on earth into a guilt.

 

[awesome liver]

The Bible says sexual immorality is the only sin you commit within your own body.

the bible says, the bible says -- the bible says a lot but it doesn't mean it's all true. example: moses and the flight out of egypt to free the jewish slaves who labored to build the monuments of that old kingdom. another example: the earth being created in six days 6000 years ago, disavowing all the civilizations that came before then.

 

[PrincessFromOz]

Awesomeliver,

Are you saying that you don't believe all the Bible? But aren't you a Christian? I'm sorry, but God says that all of his word is true (John 17:17), therefore you can't just pick and choose which bits you want to believe and which ones you don't. Jesus calls us to follow him, but he didn't promise it would be an easy road. However, it is the best road, and in the end it will lead to life.

By the way, God makes guidelines for life because he knows what's best for us, not because he wants to ruin our fun. He knows the devastating effect sex before marriage can have on people (I've seen it so many times in my friends' lives), so he asks that we keep it for marriage. I'm certainly going to do that...

Sure, you can do what you want with your life... Go ahead, and see what happens when you step outside God's best for your life. But I can promise you that one day you'll find it's empty... and you will have missed out on the amazing things God has prepared for those who have obeyed his word.

I hope you'll understand I'm not 'judging' you, and none of us are judging each other... we're just talking about the struggles many of us have as the result of sexual sin. Hence, the value in not committing this sin!

Rach

 

[awesome liver]

Awesomeliver,

Are you saying that you don't believe all the Bible? But aren't you a Christian? I'm sorry, but God says that all of his word is true (John 17:17), therefore you can't just pick and choose which bits you want to believe and which ones you don't. Jesus calls us to follow him, but he didn't promise it would be an easy road. However, it is the best road, and in the end it will lead to life.

By the way, God makes guidelines for life because he knows what's best for us, not because he wants to ruin our fun. He knows the devastating effect sex before marriage can have on people (I've seen it so many times in my friends' lives), so he asks that we keep it for marriage. I'm certainly going to do that...

Sure, you can do what you want with your life... Go ahead, and see what happens when you step outside God's best for your life. But I can promise you that one day you'll find it's empty... and you will have missed out on the amazing things God has prepared for those who have obeyed his word.

I hope you'll understand I'm not 'judging' you, and none of us are judging each other... we're just talking about the struggles many of us have as the result of sexual sin. Hence, the value in not committing this sin!

Rach

you did look up the moses thing right? no slaves built the pyramids; otherwise, the papayrus records would indicate it since slavery would have been a source of commerce. how about the great flood claim? look up "gilgamesh" and "flood" and you'll see that was the source of the noah's arc story. the bible and the concept of christianity are two separate things. the religion came first and the the book is derived from it. you can quote the bible where it says the book is infallible or whatever but it doesn't change the fact that it was written by human hands. now if you say that he'll punish whoever changes the words, you have to consider the fact that those who changed the words did so from latin to english or german or french, etc., etc. "but he meant the meaning!" you can't have it both ways. either the words were changed or they weren't. also, let's go back to the human words thing -- it's convenient to include a verse that would ensure that most of the bible remains intact and should be followed since you can't disprove those words were ever said. the idea that god is in everything everywhere is absurd. if he's either a loving god or a hateful god. you can't have that both ways either. the old testament god was vengeful but the new testament god is forgiving. now which is it? "god works in mysterious ways." that is a non-answer.

yes, i'm catholic, but it doesn't mean i'm not oblivious to history and human nature.

 

[Sketcher]

Giglamesh if anything corobborates the flood story. There is no real evidence of the Biblical flood account being derived from it. I've read them both.

If slaves didn't build the pyramids, who did? Aliens?

Being as Psalm 103 is all about the God of grace and Acts 5:1-10 is about His old-school vengeance, I'd say it's the same, consistant God throughout the Bible.

 

[awesome liver]

Giglamesh if anything corobborates the flood story. There is no real evidence of the Biblical flood account being derived from it. I've read them both.

If slaves didn't build the pyramids, who did? Aliens?

Being as Psalm 103 is all about the God of grace and Acts 5:1-10 is about His old-school vengeance, I'd say it's the same, consistant God throughout the Bible.

it's just as easy to replace the word god with aliens, humorously enough, since there's scant evidence for either claim, if you want to go down that line of thought.

no, the evidence pretty much paints the clear picture that no jewish slaves built the pyramids since there's no record nor physical proof of them (no the pyramids don't count since that's evidence that someone built them but not necessarily slaves). as you now the egyptians were one of the first bureaucracies in the world and kept records of everything good and bad. slaves wouldn't have been counted as a bad thing -- they would have been counted as something bought and sold. they just were. pretty much all major civilizations of old had slavery in some form or another. there's just no evidence of moses and his "let my people go" spiele. otherwise, we'd have found massive graves of discarded slaves somewhere sooner or later.

let's bring up angels because we're on the subject. beings with wings. let's say you know nothing of religion. you come across someone spouting off the wonders of god and then he brings up angels. these beings of pure evil or pure good (demons are fallen angels so it would reason angels and demons look alike) with wings. would you concede the sphynix was a real creature? how about a minotaur? how about a flying spaghetti monster? if you can believe in the bible, can you also believe in the tooth fairy, the easter bunny, santa clause (no, not saint nicholas), the great pumpkin? to say the bible is absolutely without flaws and stuff made up by man is ludicrous.

 

[Sketcher]

it's just as easy to replace the word god with aliens, humorously enough, since there's scant evidence for either claim, if you want to go down that line of thought.

no, the evidence pretty much paints the clear picture that no jewish slaves built the pyramids since there's no record nor physical proof of them (no the pyramids don't count since that's evidence that someone built them but not necessarily slaves). as you now the egyptians were one of the first bureaucracies in the world and kept records of everything good and bad. slaves wouldn't have been counted as a bad thing -- they would have been counted as something bought and sold. they just were. pretty much all major civilizations of old had slavery in some form or another. there's just no evidence of moses and his "let my people go" spiele. otherwise, we'd have found massive graves of discarded slaves somewhere sooner or later.

But the Bible makes no claims of the Hebrew slaves making the pyramids. They made bricks and worked in the fields. No further claims were made.

Whether or not it was Hebrew slaves that made the pyramids, slaves had to have built them. It's the only logical explanation, nobody's going to pay that many people to do that much back breaking work.

As for the mass graves, wait a second. You're saying there was slavery, yet no mass graves to prove it. Why would Pharoah take the time to mark a mass grave for Hebrew slaves specifically? And how are you going to tell a Hebrew skeleton from a non-Hebrew?

let's bring up angels because we're on the subject. beings with wings. let's say you know nothing of religion. you come across someone spouting off the wonders of god and then he brings up angels. these beings of pure evil or pure good (demons are fallen angels so it would reason angels and demons look alike) with wings. would you concede the sphynix was a real creature? how about a minotaur? how about a flying spaghetti monster? if you can believe in the bible, can you also believe in the tooth fairy, the easter bunny, santa clause (no, not saint nicholas), the great pumpkin? to say the bible is absolutely without flaws and stuff made up by man is ludicrous.

This is so incoherent, I don't see the point you are trying to make.

Do you believe any of the Bible at all? If so, why and what do you use it for?

 

[awesome liver]

i'm making the case for critical thinking since this is the college forum and you know, critical thinking is sorta neat and expected. and yes, there would have to be mass graves for a work force that is worked to death otherwise, the risk of contamination is too great. but since there are none, it indicates that the people who built it just went home at the end of their shift, like people do now. you must not know how the military works in certain countries -- compulsory service. that's an easier explanation that a bunch of slaves built it, since we know compulsory service is nothing new, either, since there was no slave labor.

i'm catholic. that doesn't mean i'm not capable of knowing that the bible was created by human hands and thus is not perfect nor would i ever think it ever was. let's not forget there are discarded books of the bible. what accounts for those?

 

[ascribe2thelord]

AwesomeLiver, if you want to debate about this kind of stuff, or about whether it's a good idea to not have sex before you're married, then please, please, please go to the appropriate forum for that. This is a social forum primarily. For college students who only want to socialize, or maybe work out one another's concerns.