Any suffer from Social Anxiety?

[Guyfromni]

I have always been a shy individual, but it wasn't until I hit my late teens it developed into social anxiety, I'm 30 now and have all but given up hope of a cure and I suppose I have learned to live with it to some extent but its certainly not pleasant and a very lonely existence, I am married but don't have any friends and whats worse is I can't make any, in social situations I feel like a shy child being introduced to a stranger, I can't make eye contact and my mind blanks out so can't conduct a conversation either, I blush and generally feel very awkward, I think I come across to people as a bit of a freak to be honest, however online I am fine, I chat fine to people on the likes of these boards or msn messenger and even am surprisingly ok on the telephone as well.

I just wonder if anyone else on here suffers from this condition?

 

[Lighthouse76]

Hi Guyfrommi..welcome to CF..I am new too..

I guess I am suffering from social anxiety with a twist..I do not mind people as they are most "neutral" but places and how I will get there as I do not drive anymore, or enjoy taking rides that goes fast velocity or inside hot close places, as I get panick attacks triggered by invironment (I guess) because claustrophobia and other sensations around..than I tent to be homebound..
I am extrovert social person but kept to myself because my high anxiety condition at the moment.. I prefer stay at home and going out to especific places and scenarios that give me peace (like wachting people fish..quiet, open and breeze outdoors spaces with natural water around like beaches). LOL..I am picky, very picky I guess..

I can be very talkative and would not mind at all having a friend in your shy condition..you can communicate and express yourself for us to have an exchange and build up friendship foundation..kwim? You do have some "rules of engagement" and that is ok..now if you did not like to express yourself by talking and shut up completely..that would stress me out as I do not have energy to dig people out when they are soo close into themselves..those I would not invest my time in and would freak my stress out..kwim?

Blessings and big hug.

 

[Guyfromni]

Hi Guyfrommi..welcome to CF..I am new too..

I guess I am suffering from social anxiety with a twist..I do not mind people as they are most "neutral" but places and how I will get there as I do not drive anymore, or enjoy taking rides that goes fast velocity or inside hot close places, as I get panick attacks triggered by invironment (I guess) because claustrophobia and other sensations around..than I tent to be homebound..
I am extrovert social person but kept to myself because my high anxiety condition at the moment.. I prefer stay at home and going out to especific places and scenarios that give me peace (like wachting people fish..quiet, open and breeze outdoors spaces with natural water around like beaches). LOL..I am picky, very picky I guess..

I can be very talkative and would not mind at all having a friend in your shy condition..you can communicate and express yourself for us to have an exchange and build up friendship foundation..kwim? You do have some "rules of engagement" and that is ok..now if you did not like to express yourself by talking and shut up completely..that would stress me out as I do not have energy to dig people out when they are soo close into themselves..those I would not invest my time in and would freak my stress out..kwim?

Blessings and big hug.

Snap, I don't drive either, infact I never could as I never liked the idea of being in that enclosed space with a stranger I.E the driving instructor, and when the passenger in a car I get very anxious about going fast like on a free way or motor way as we say over here. I can't travel in planes/buses/trains etc either because of that closed environment. So I'm not really doing great here, really need to sort myself out I guess.

 

[Lighthouse76]

I have to laugh..sorry Guy friend..but the way we feel our surroundings are very similar..I guess we do have claustrophobia and we have issues with space and going fast and balance (I cannot stand heights also..)..it might have to do with vision and ears (labyrinth balance..)..I am pretty sure there is a medical name and jargon for people who feel like we do.

I do remember I had claustrophobia episodes as a little girl when entered the tunel "Reboucas" in Rio that divides the city from south to the north zones..2 long tunnels I had to go throu and was very very unpleasant feeling to me as a kid. After that was heights episodes..

I haven't take a airplane for 3 years now..I cannot enter one to visit my family in Brasil for the moment..only if put to sleep and I wake up there..I guess.

I do try to not think much about it because than I become very anxious and sad missing my family, birth country, etc. I am soon getting help as counselling goes..as I havent gone throu any profissional help yet.

Take heart and keep pressing,

 

[leothelioness]

I suffer from SA as well. Started showing symptoms when I was around 8 or 9 and was finally diagnosed when I was 13. It certainly is a struggle, but I have found that it's actually brought me closer to God. Doesn't mean I don't wish I never had it, though.

 

[A Catholic Friend]

I have social anxiety, I don't drive and I also have insomnia. When I trusted people enough to make friends I got real nervous around the new people just joining the church group.

I got more anxiety and I had to get used to new people all over again. I want to go back to a church group, but it takes a long time to gain trust for me.

I want to start over in a new church and help other people with anxiety. If only God sent me some help to get me started. If I met nice Christian friends who understood what I was going through they could help me to help others.

I have been praying for this for a long time.

God bless.

 

[Guyfromni]

I've also found it has brought me closer to God. I made the decision yesterday to see my doctor for the first time about this issue, as to be honest I am embarrassed about it. She put me on Citalopram/Clexia but to be honest I am scared of it, I took 1 tablet today and have felt sick since

 

[Lighthouse76]

I've also found it has brought me closer to God. I made the decision yesterday to see my doctor for the first time about this issue, as to be honest I am embarrassed about it. She put me on Citalopram/Clexia but to be honest I am scared of it, I took 1 tablet today and have felt sick since

Wow you did talk to her, good for you.

I do understand being scared of medicines and I do feel sorry you're feeling sick, but hang in there and give a bit of time to it. I read here that people keep trying different ones until find a "good or ok" one.
I guess many drugs side effects can be sickining..I cannot stand to take most medicines because I just can't stand the different things they get to do in my system and I am not ok with those at all..the only medicine I do have at home, trust and "love" is Advil.

Praying

 

[Lighthouse76]

I have social anxiety, I don't drive and I also have insomnia. When I trusted people enough to make friends I got real nervous around the new people just joining the church group.

I got more anxiety and I had to get used to new people all over again. I want to go back to a church group, but it takes a long time to gain trust for me.

I want to start over in a new church and help other people with anxiety. If only God sent me some help to get me started. If I met nice Christian friends who understood what I was going through they could help me to help others.

I have been praying for this for a long time.

God bless.

Hi Catholic Friend..

I am sure helping you in prayer about asking the Lord to get you started. Count with me on that!

I have been praying for God send me to a new church to met real mature, caring and etc christian friends also. I cannot stand anymore going to church as a social club and the shallowness of it all as I did in the past. I guess many do crave the church as NT biblical exemple of loving and sharing community where people belonged and had 1 mind and heart, all in commom.

God bless and if you want to "train" your friendship skills, feel free to fellowship with me .....

 

[power2theweak]

I do.

 

[leothelioness]

I've also found it has brought me closer to God. I made the decision yesterday to see my doctor for the first time about this issue, as to be honest I am embarrassed about it. She put me on Citalopram/Clexia but to be honest I am scared of it, I took 1 tablet today and have felt sick since

Why are you scared of it? The best way to look at it is, "this is going to help me." Personally, I was thankful for any medication that I could get that would just help me to function in a normal capacity. I don't recommend becoming dependent on them, but it does help you to get started in the right direction.

God Bless and praying for you.

 

[Amhacajo]

Social Anxiety is the pits. I have had it at its worst where it drove me to agrophobic tendencies and panic attacks. I never even realised that I had a real problem until I came here and found this forum and found others who had the same symptoms as me and the light bulb went off in my head. I had avoidance behaviours so ingrained that I didn't even realise that that's what they were. I was always shy as a child and growing up. I never got my drivers license until I was 30 because I was too scared to go into the licensing office let alone have the courage to phone someone to make an appointment to teach me to drive. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

TAKE COURAGE!!

I have come along way since I first started visiting this forum (can't remember but I think it's been a couple of years). I have had some Cognitive behavioural therapy which was the best thing I think I ever did. I still battle with the SA at times but I cope alot better than I did a few years ago. I encourage you to keep visiting here. I was encouraged just to know that I wasn't the only one going through this type of anxiety. Also if at all possible look into getting some professional help.

Praying that all goes well for you.

 

[Mr. Ripley]

I have social anxiety and general anxiety disorder, bipolar, depression, and ADD. Yeah, quite a laundry list there. I take klonopin and vyvanse (which is an amphetamine like adderall, but much less addictive) and they have pretty much eliminated any social anxiety I have. It also is the only thing that works for my depression and ADD.

I've also heard that people have taken MAOIs for social anxiety and it really helped them a lot. Keep in mind these generally have a lot of side effects and a restricted diet.

Listening to you describe your situation, it's just not healthy to be so isolated. I know. This condition we have is so detrimental to a happy life that, even with the side effects, it can't be worse than desperate isolation. You owe it to yourself to seek out whatever help there may be to better your life.

 

[leothelioness]

Mr. Ripley, I have social anxiety and ADD and have suffered from depression, so you're certainly not alone.

 

[R.A.IN]

Guy - that sounds a lot like I was as up until my 30s.

 

[A Catholic Friend]

How does your family treat you? Do they accept that you have anxiety etc. or do they treat you like you should snap out of it?

Some relatives treat me like since they don't have anxieties or fears that I shouldn't have it.

Who would ever want to choose a life like this? I never wanted it, but they treat me like it's my fault. I would much rather have had an active life with lots of friends, going places and having the career of my dreams.

Are any of you the only one in your family with anxiety? I feel like I am the only one and I have counted at least 50 aunts, uncles and cousins that I know or have met and as far as I know none of them have social anxiety or fear of doing things.

Why am I the only one? I wish they could experience it for 2 weeks or maybe a month to see what I am going through. Then maybe after they come out of it they can see what it is like to be me only I have had anxiety for more than 20 years.

Sometimes I feel like they don't see me as a person because I am not "as good" as them. I feel like they look down on me as if they are better than. I don't treat anyone bad, but sometimes their unkind comments towards me does hurt sometimes.

What have all of you gone through? How does it make you feel?

 

[Iythiyel]

I also have social anxiety. Being in public scares me because I always feel like people are looking at me and saying things, even though deep down I know that isn't the case. It is hard getting out and meeting new people too because like some others said it is hard to trust. I tend to stay at home a lot which I know is unhealthy. I think as far as family goes they tend to forget about me because I am so quiet. What makes it worse is it is hard finding balance. What I mean is when I do open up everyone tends to react as if they are shocked then people start surrounding me and being overly open. It gets to a point where there is too much openness and that pushes me back into isolation or into panic attacks. This is a horrible condition to live with.
Hopefully I can find a job soon so I can afford some kind of professional help for it.

 

[Skilletdude]

Me! I've never been officially diagnosed or anything but I definitely fit the bill for that and Avoidant Personality Disorder... I was always too embarrassed to talk about it to a doctor. Always feeling like people are judging you, feeling inferior, and beating yourself up over every little mistake or thing you said. Getting anxious just calling someone or something... never knowing what to say in a conversation and stuff.

I never knew it was a disorder actually. I thought when I got out of HS, I could start over and since no one would know me or anything and get a job and be happy. But then I wasn't depressed anymore and I STILL couldn't get myself to make phone calls and putting in an application for jobs was absolute torture. I got my first job at 23 and that whole deal was kind of a miracle how that worked out. I was like totally depressed and hateful towards myself I kind of popped and forced myself to go down and talk with my aunt about getting a job. I felt like a total idiot the whole time but I was so upset I didn't care and I kind of told her what was up and through a string of friends, I got a decent paying job. I thought getting a job would help me feel better but I STILL couldn't find myself talking to people and feeling insecure and shy and stuff. I felt like a real idiot and wanted to quit so bad and thought I was gonna get fired anyway but I knew I'd never get a job that payed as well as that and getting that job was tough, I didn't wanna go through that again. So I stuck with it and I'm still there but I'm doing sooo much better now than I was 4 years ago.

I still don't have any real friends and stuff and it took forever before I started actually talking with people comfortably. I still have a hard time with some but that's just cause I don't work around them much but still... I'm working on it and forcing myself to go out if I get invited somewhere with people. I felt like a total third wheel, it was just me and two other guys from work and we went to the casino and I wanted to go just cause... I mean, I REALLY wanna be with people but.. at the same time I just get so anxious and stressed out and feel like a total idiot whenever I try to talk. But I forced myself to go anyway, and yeah, I felt like a third wheel. I had to find them a couple times after getting split up. But I mean they were trying to talk in the car on the way there and stuff and I tried my best to answer back and be responsive and stuff. And it wasn't that bad really even though I beat myself that night hating on myself and stuff but... I'm glad I made myself do it.

But yea, I'm actually becoming soo much more confident. I accept that I'm quiet and don't try to force conversations but I'm much better at responding and carrying conversations and stuff now with people. I have a hard time saying greetings and stuff like "hi" but today for the first time I actually managed to be the one to initiate a "hey (name)" to someone I don't even talk with at all... so I was proud of myself there

I have a long ways to go but I'm getting better inch by inch I think. I finally got my drivers license last year after failing 3 times before on the driving just out of crazy nerves taking the test with the instructor. Got over my fear of driving and feeling stupid. Learned to drive a stick even though I felt like an idiot every time I messed up and killed the engine and stuff... I bought my first brand new car last month by myself, did all the talking with the people for the loan and stuff. Drove to a Guitar Center myself knowing nothing about guitars and just asked someone there to help me out find something and I was happy with myself there We talked for like 45 minutes looking at guitars and stuff and I was asking questions and all.

But little by little I get a tiny bit more confidence and I just keep forcing myself into situations where I'm not really comfortable at all and feel stupid but... knowing I could be miserable for life and that it's just gonna get harder if I don't try now gives me just enough motivation to do what I don't wanna do. Cause I honestly would rather shoot myself than be stuck with this and IMO, killing myself is not an option so I better do something about it...

And like others have said, being like this really has helped with my relationship with God so in that way, I am thankful that I am where I am... I notice when I'm not down and out and stuff or struggling, God gets pushed to the back and sometimes I wonder if I was just "normal" if I would just be one of those people who just are basically a Christian in name only and not really give it much thought... I would rather have a really sucky life and eternity with Jesus then a really good life and a crappy eternity in hell... So I'm kind of glad it worked out this way.

So anyway, don't give up hope and keep that relationship with Christ burning... I have a long way to go still but I'm not giving up... Sometimes I really want to though and at those times I don't hold back and I just cry all night long and tell God how I feel honestly even if it is selfish and stuff... I just tell what I feel cause he knows it anyway so no use hiding it and it helps to let it out.

Sorry... didn't mean to type up the great american novel... and I didn't proof read this so I hope it doesn't sound like gobbleygook. Just felt like sharing =/

 

[Mr. Ripley]

Family members who don't suffer from mental illness have a difficult time understanding how it affects us. If you have only experienced the world one way, it's impossible to put yourself into someone else's shoes and imagine how they perceive the world. Be patient with them.

 

[R.A.IN]

My husband yells at me over my anxiety.