- Sep 6, 2014
- 763
- 73
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Republican
OK. I went to church last Sunday and did not feel like I belonged there. I felt rejected. Like why is he here? So now I no longer want to go to church. But I will continue to attend church simply to learn, not to learn.
I also felt rejected last night at a social gathering last night. My friend Kathy would introduce me to people and they did not seem at all interested in talking to me.
So I wanted dive right back into sin. inappropriate content brings a lot of comfort to me. I feel like I don't get love on earth so I might as well love myself. I did not look at inappropriate content, but I looked at something like inappropriate content. It was sin. I don't want the rejection of people cause me to reject God. But that is what I am doing when I dive back into sin. I was planning using my money to buy inappropriate content and other sinful stuff for relief.
I know that in the past I said I love to be hated and hate to be loved, and at that time I really felt that way. It was because I was afraid of being loved, for fear of getting hurt. But then I made some friends who really love me. And I really love them. But then they dragged me to this social gathering against my will. In fact, I kept saying people are either going to kill me or ignore me. This is Colville. They hate blacks and gay people. (Mind you I am not a practicing homosexual, for I believe it is sin. But I am still unrighteous, for I struggle with some besetting sins that are just as bad). And guess what, I was ignored. People basically gave my friend a why did you bring him attitude. As a result, I want to dissolve my relationship with my friends. I want to go back into being anti-social and hating people and rejecting them.
Please pray for me.
I also felt rejected last night at a social gathering last night. My friend Kathy would introduce me to people and they did not seem at all interested in talking to me.
So I wanted dive right back into sin. inappropriate content brings a lot of comfort to me. I feel like I don't get love on earth so I might as well love myself. I did not look at inappropriate content, but I looked at something like inappropriate content. It was sin. I don't want the rejection of people cause me to reject God. But that is what I am doing when I dive back into sin. I was planning using my money to buy inappropriate content and other sinful stuff for relief.
I know that in the past I said I love to be hated and hate to be loved, and at that time I really felt that way. It was because I was afraid of being loved, for fear of getting hurt. But then I made some friends who really love me. And I really love them. But then they dragged me to this social gathering against my will. In fact, I kept saying people are either going to kill me or ignore me. This is Colville. They hate blacks and gay people. (Mind you I am not a practicing homosexual, for I believe it is sin. But I am still unrighteous, for I struggle with some besetting sins that are just as bad). And guess what, I was ignored. People basically gave my friend a why did you bring him attitude. As a result, I want to dissolve my relationship with my friends. I want to go back into being anti-social and hating people and rejecting them.
Please pray for me.
