Divorce/Remarriage?

ninjatoth · Jul 2, 2015

I just can't seem to find good answers for my questions anywhere because what happened in my case is not cut and dry and black and white. I have been divorced twice but want to remarry and am not sure if it's permitted. The first divorce i'm not even going to get into, it is as simple as she left me and was sleeping around, admittedly. The second marriage however, was really bad. She was very very abusive, I mean very abusive and violent, physically, mentally. I was on the edge of suicide because of her so many times. After 4 and a half years of marriage she all the sudden threatened to leave me, so I decided to leave on my own with our child so I wasn't blindsided. Anyways, 2 months later or so with no desire to go back to her, I slept with another woman. My wife at the time did not know this, yet later I found out, within 1-2 days of what I did, she was sleeping with another man, she did this before she knew what I had done so it wasn't revenge or anything like that, we both thought we would never reconcile, well, we did reconcile, but only for 2 months - that's when she shoved my 61 year old mother that just got back from the hospital against the wall, then later threatened to stab my mom and I in our sleep. After that I immediately asked her to leave, so she did and within a few days she had divorce papers drawn up and I was served. My big question is, that no matter where I look for advice I never find real answers. I keep reading that the "innocent" party may remarry. First of all, I can't find anywhere in the bible where it refers to an "innocent party", it just says that for adultery or desertion that divorce is permitted. Clearly there was desertion, and there was also adultery but am I more guilty than her because I did it a day sooner? Am I less guilty because she already deserted me by the abuse? I just don't know the answers. I do know this, I have met and been with the most wonderful Christian woman I have known and my heart tells me she is the one, the one to make it all right. I feel in my heart that if I married this woman, it is far better than wondering life alone and being tempted and constantly losing control and possibly leading a life of fornication. But then again there is this biblical technicality that is so overwhelming. One thing I do know though, reconciliation with my second wife is in no way shape or form an option. She would probably murder me. What to do? Thanks.

Matthias Rose · Jul 2, 2015

ninjatoth said:
I have been divorced twice but want to remarry and am not sure if it's permitted.

1 Corinthians 10:23 -- "Everything is permissible, but not all things are beneficial."

Find out what is beneficial, and do that. You have been in two bad marriages. Before you enter a third, make sure you have done the work to figure out what you may need to learn about yourself and the kind of woman you are attracted to, to ensure this doesn't happen a third time. These patterns don't happen in our lives by accident.

I know there are people who will say remarriage is never permitted, but somehow the vast majority of conservative christians who do find themselves divorced, figure out a way to revise their legalistic thinking in order to accommodate their new marriage. As well they should: God calls us to live in the real, fallen world. And if we can find ways to make this real fallen world a better more beautiful place, then we should.

I would say the same thing even if in the first two marriages YOU were the sinner, the one at fault. Do the work to heal yourself, and then go do what God calls you to do.

ImaginaryDay · Jul 2, 2015

One thing to keep in mind in asking for input is that the sub-form here will be fraught with varied opinions. Many will have the opinion that remarriage will not be allowed, and that it is near adultery to do so. I am not of that opinion. I am of the opinion that "unbelieving spouse" can be included to mean an abuser. If one is in blatant, intentional, unrepentant sin, can we call them a brother or sister in Christ any longer? Hebrews is clear on that - they have left the faith. That's a harsh truth in the face of "no divorce or remarriage for any reason", but I believe that's the deeper truth.
Although I'm not Catholic, I posted a thread a week or so ago on an article where Pope Francis made some interesting statements about marriage and the family. I'll bump it up if you'd like to read it. It's well worth it.

ninjatoth · Jul 4, 2015

I wanted to respond to some questions in my replies from others and give a little history about my past marriages, and maybe that will help. Keep in mind that sometimes it's hard to not get one sided about our faults, but in my case I really did know how to pick them(sarcasm). To answer the question about finding what I am attracted to and what I learned about myself, I feel like I have already done that. The woman I am with now I have been seeing for 3.5 years, she is an admitted Christian and was baptized not too long ago. She is a wonderful person, and after 3.5 years I have yet to see a nasty side, she remains to be what she has always been, she treats me like a king, and she has never been married before. I have realized that my biggest mistake was marrying for other reasons than for love, and for seeking what I want in a woman, she is what I want, simply put it almost feels like selfishness because she is so good and I want to marry her because she is just so...everything. Now to my history- The first wife I married for none other reason at age 24 than because I didn't want to sin anymore, I assumed that it didn't matter who I married, as long as I was getting married I would be escaping sin and that this would please God(in my mind) so I married a 19 year old girl after just 5 months of dating. She got tired of marriage and despite my pleading to come back, she would not and even admitted to sleeping with some guy she met. I stayed pure until the divorce was finalized, and a few years after that she was arrested for molesting a 14 year old girl so I know I did not make a mistake in not trying harder to go after her even though she left me. The next soon to be wife I was dating for about 4-5 months when she became pregnant-we wed 3 months later, so only 7 months after we met we married mostly because of the baby. Within only 2 months there were problems, she would never stop yelling at me, even as I cried in mental anguish for her to just leave me alone she would not stop, in the first 2 months she even decided to start yelling at me, then punched me in the face and shoved me into boxes and I fell, then when I got up she dared me to hit her back because if I did I would never see my child. I never did lay a hand on her, but after that, I was never right inside. She was very verbally abusive, and physically violent, she never again punched me in the face but would often assert her superiority by punching my arms and back anytime she was mad, I was never afraid of her at that point but after 5 years of it, it became too much. She made me sell my car for no reason and I was not allowed to leave the house without her becoming enraged or violent. I was not "allowed" more than one can of soda a day, I was not allowed to do the dishes, and the laundry as much as I did because I "wasted" detergent(I did everything in the house, I was an OCD neat freak) Another thing is that I slept on the couch for at least 90% of our marriage, she was angry if when I laid in bed if I moved wrong, or upset her beauty rest in any way, and we had sex maybe 2 times a year some years, with her complaining the whole time of how I did it wrong. The list goes on and on and on. Finally one day she screamed at me that she was leaving ME if I did not change, I had no clue what she was talking about so I decided to go and crash at my parent's house for a few days, that turned into a few weeks and a few months. Eventually she came back to me and moved in with me at my parent's house and seemed like a nice person(this was after she was with another man and I was with another woman during out few month separation) we seemed to reconcile. It didn't last long, she got mad at my mom and I one day out of the blue because we were simply talking about what to do about my daughter's disobedience issues and what not, and for no reason my (wife) ex-wife came unglued and started screaming at my mom that she has no business in talking to me about how to raise our kid and whatnot, then myex-wife shoved my mom against the wall(2 days after she had bariatric surgery and was weak) and cocked her arm back and was about to hit my mom when I seen what was happening, I grabbed my ex and pulled her away(first time I ever laid hands on her) she escaped my grasp and lunged at my mom telling her she was going to kill her, that's when I drug my ex out the front door and told her to leave.She did, but came back the next day as if nothing happened. I tried talking to my ex saying she needs help, badly...that's when she says "you're right, I do, because if not i'm going to stab you and your mother in your sleep". That very day I told her she was gone, she's done and she's leaving that house, so she did. A few days later she served me divorce papers and about a year later the divorce was finalized. A few months after it being finalized, she went to child protective services for reasons unknown and reported that I was neglecting our child and that I was sexually abusing her (which is so far from the truth I can't even begin to tell you the hurt I felt for someone accusing me of something so vile)...anyways, this is actually a small fraction of the story of this woman. I am sorry to over elaborate, but you guys need to know the full extent of why I can never, ever be with this woman again. I pray to God daily that he would bless me in marrying the wonderful woman I am with now. In my heart I feel it is ok, and that God would not want me to live alone forever, or constantly slip into sin because of the sin of this world and me not having my own wife, but then again, the bible does not elaborate in great detail on divorce and remarriage, it simply says adultery or abandonment. And what about the fact that technically I am just as guilty of adultery as she is because I was with another woman during our separation just as she was with another man. Did adultery and abandonment occur? Yes...but is the "guilty party" not allowed to remarry as I have heard so many people say? We are both guilty equally technically for adultery. I can not find anywhere that says the word guilty party vs innocent party anywhere in the bible.

ScottA · Jul 4, 2015

ninjatoth said:
I just can't seem to find good answers for my questions anywhere because what happened in my case is not cut and dry and black and white. I have been divorced twice but want to remarry and am not sure if it's permitted. The first divorce i'm not even going to get into, it is as simple as she left me and was sleeping around, admittedly. The second marriage however, was really bad. She was very very abusive, I mean very abusive and violent, physically, mentally. I was on the edge of suicide because of her so many times. After 4 and a half years of marriage she all the sudden threatened to leave me, so I decided to leave on my own with our child so I wasn't blindsided. Anyways, 2 months later or so with no desire to go back to her, I slept with another woman. My wife at the time did not know this, yet later I found out, within 1-2 days of what I did, she was sleeping with another man, she did this before she knew what I had done so it wasn't revenge or anything like that, we both thought we would never reconcile, well, we did reconcile, but only for 2 months - that's when she shoved my 61 year old mother that just got back from the hospital against the wall, then later threatened to stab my mom and I in our sleep. After that I immediately asked her to leave, so she did and within a few days she had divorce papers drawn up and I was served. My big question is, that no matter where I look for advice I never find real answers. I keep reading that the "innocent" party may remarry. First of all, I can't find anywhere in the bible where it refers to an "innocent party", it just says that for adultery or desertion that divorce is permitted. Clearly there was desertion, and there was also adultery but am I more guilty than her because I did it a day sooner? Am I less guilty because she already deserted me by the abuse? I just don't know the answers. I do know this, I have met and been with the most wonderful Christian woman I have known and my heart tells me she is the one, the one to make it all right. I feel in my heart that if I married this woman, it is far better than wondering life alone and being tempted and constantly losing control and possibly leading a life of fornication. But then again there is this biblical technicality that is so overwhelming. One thing I do know though, reconciliation with my second wife is in no way shape or form an option. She would probably murder me. What to do? Thanks.

It is much simpler than you have been considering. We have ALL sinned and fallen short of what we are told, have read, etc. Starting there, confess your sin to God, and if you desire not to sin any more, attempt to sin no more. Ask for God's help to do so. But...as for marriage, if you desire to take a bride (where have we heard that before?), you need to take to heart the gift that marriage is: We have the great privilege and honor of portraying the marriage that Christ has with the church. If you intimately know Christ...your own marriage will be good. If not, work on your relationship with Christ...and wait on getting married, until you are head over heels in love with Christ. Then proceed. All the best to you!

Winken · Jul 4, 2015

No one can "clean up their act" outside of the Love of God. He sets the parameters. Are you a born-again Believer in Jesus as Savior and Lord? IF you really are, you can divorce and remarry without coming under the judgment of God. The most important fact, however, is that each person believe without doubt Romans 10:8-13. Then, as authentic Christians, each learn to walk in the footsteps of Jesus, avoiding every opportunity to stray from His love for you. The Bible says it quite well: "Yield not to temptation." That includes potential relationships.

Remember that if an authentic Believer strays he or she does not become "unsaved" --- you have an advocate with God through Jesus. In the presence of the Holy Spirit you go to and confess 1 John 1:9. He is faithful and full of justice in forgiving you and restoring your fellowship with Him.

Seek out a local fellowship. You and your potential bride attend services. Pray.

joshua 1 9 · Jul 4, 2015

ninjatoth said:
I just can't seem to find good answers for my questions anywhere because what happened in my case is not cut and dry and black and white. I have been divorced twice but want to remarry and am not sure if it's permitted. The first divorce i'm not even going to get into, it is as simple as she left me and was sleeping around, admittedly. The second marriage however, was really bad. She was very very abusive, I mean very abusive and violent, physically, mentally. I was on the edge of suicide because of her so many times. After 4 and a half years of marriage she all the sudden threatened to leave me, so I decided to leave on my own with our child so I wasn't blindsided. Anyways, 2 months later or so with no desire to go back to her, I slept with another woman. My wife at the time did not know this, yet later I found out, within 1-2 days of what I did, she was sleeping with another man, she did this before she knew what I had done so it wasn't revenge or anything like that, we both thought we would never reconcile, well, we did reconcile, but only for 2 months - that's when she shoved my 61 year old mother that just got back from the hospital against the wall, then later threatened to stab my mom and I in our sleep. After that I immediately asked her to leave, so she did and within a few days she had divorce papers drawn up and I was served. My big question is, that no matter where I look for advice I never find real answers. I keep reading that the "innocent" party may remarry. First of all, I can't find anywhere in the bible where it refers to an "innocent party", it just says that for adultery or desertion that divorce is permitted. Clearly there was desertion, and there was also adultery but am I more guilty than her because I did it a day sooner? Am I less guilty because she already deserted me by the abuse? I just don't know the answers. I do know this, I have met and been with the most wonderful Christian woman I have known and my heart tells me she is the one, the one to make it all right. I feel in my heart that if I married this woman, it is far better than wondering life alone and being tempted and constantly losing control and possibly leading a life of fornication. But then again there is this biblical technicality that is so overwhelming. One thing I do know though, reconciliation with my second wife is in no way shape or form an option. She would probably murder me. What to do? Thanks.

I use to read 1cor7 over and over again. I think Paul is saying that your going to have problems in the flesh. Many people in the Bible had more than one wife and this caused them problems. So perhaps you have to decide if that is worth it for you to have to deal with.

Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
7:28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
7:29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth *, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;

Lots of churches have very good counciling. Some as many as 10 sessions. They will open up your eyes to show you what your getting into then you can decide from there.

ninjatoth · Jul 4, 2015

Some of the advice about counseling is already in the works. My girlfriend has brought up the fact that her church has a certified counselor that volunteers at the church, and she wants us to go to discuss all of my concerns. The only action at this point that I can take, which is already what we are doing is to not sin while all of this works itself out. It has not always been this way, mostly because of the whole marriage thing. If you looked inside my head in the past you would see someone that cared and wanted to do right, but because I felt like maybe another marriage is technically perpetual adultery, what would be the difference if I have no self control now because the relationship will never be right anyways so I might as well get what I can now because I love her so much and i'm going to lose her anyways...but that in turn is what turned me into someone that I did not want to be, either a perpetual adulterer or fornicator. When I feel like i'm working towards the prize, that one day I can make her an honest woman, it's a lot easier to be abstinent for long periods of time. I'm not saying that my old way of thinking was right, I am just giving a window into my messed up thinking. At this point though I just decided to give it all to God and do right, to stay with her yet abstain from anything sexual. What do I got to lose by not sinning? If I am given the okay by God to marry her, he is pleased with my sacrifice, if i'm not than he would still be pleased with my sacrifice. So that's the plan, no sin even if we have to go 10 years that way, do right until I know. She is on board with the plan as well.

NothingIsImpossible · Jul 5, 2015

My feeling is divorce is not allowed. And neither is remarriage. Some have said "But what if I didn't have a choice in the divorce? Why should I be stuck unable to marry again?". As humans naturally we would want to marry someone else again. But thats part of the temptation of sin. Our wants and desires. Fact is God didn't create us so our purpose would be to marry. Singles who feel the need to be celibate never marry. So must those who are stuck divorced. It may not seem fair from a human stand point but God never said life would be fair. It would feel like punishment that one cannot remarry but they must see it as its not the end of the world and our goal in life is not marriage.

While this following example is no where near as serious as marriage, I still have point with it. I have kidney stones badly. I've had so many scopings its affecting my intimate life and if I have one more scoping I may not be able to be intimate. So what causes them? Calcium. One would assume its just dairy but most everything has added calcium. And I'm italian mind you. So the basics like cheese, ice cream, milk.... can't have them. Even some of the fake stuff like soy milk or "Vegan" cheese has calcium. At first I hated it and cheated many times and ended up with more stones. So how is this relevant? Well to be blunt its a living hell not being able to enjoy MOST foods that are out. Especially those italians REALLY love like pizza, pasta with cheese, mexican cassadias, burritos...etc. I can't even have cereal or pop really. So it may not seem fair but its just how things are. I can't change it despite how much I miss the amazing foods I once ate. Likewise people will miss marriage, the love and all it entails. But sadly for us its just how it is once divorce happens.

If someone wants to remarry thats up to them. But remember you have to answer to God one day. And biblicaly it says if you remarry then your living in sin with that person. Aka your cheating on your ex-spouse. Again I know that will draw fire because it is indeed very hard to hear. Just thinking about it myself if it were me in that situation? I would be mad too. But I must accept life is about me or happyness at times. Its about God. I will say the only thing I see people agree on when it comes to remarriage is if your spouse dies. Obviously at that point there is no getting back together. Your ties are severed in this life. Which BTW I should mention you can remarry the person you divorced and not be in sin. I have seen a few couples do it and their marriage works out again.

ninjatoth · Jul 5, 2015

So what is your stance on Matthew 5 31-32? Jesus clearly said that if you divorce your wife for any other reason than marital unfaithfulness, you cause her to be come an adulteress if she remarries. He then ends that explanation. He does not go on or elaborate saying that the two must remain married despite all odds nor does he elaborate that both of them must remain unmarried forever. I can not help but read it as it's written, and clearly it paints the picture to me that if there was marital unfaithfulness and you divorce her, she would NOT be an adulteress if she remarried because she has no husband anymore. Nor would the man be committing adultery if he marries because he has no wife anymore.

"except for marital unfaithfulness you cause her to become an adulteress" The word "except" is not one too hard to define. Without an "except" than she would be an adulteress after divorce if she remarries and also if the man remarries right? But there is an "except" to the notion that remarriage would be adultery. So explain more to me on what Jesus meant if it is not what I am seeing, because I just can't see it any other way, and best of all, it makes sense, I understand it as a Christian. I do not feel as if i'm reading it in my own way to get what I want, nor do I believe that God would ever make the bible in such a way the "human standpoint" can't understand if that human is a Christian and reading it with their heart, not human mind.

Why in 1 Corinthians would Paul elaborate that it is better for the "unmarried" to marry and not burn with passion, and that it was good for each man to have his own wife because of all of the immorality of the world if he didn't have all people in mind? I can't imagine that he would be saying that ONLY the never before married or ONLY widows should marry. If there is not a possible way for a divorced couple to reconcile and the divorce was justified, than why in the world would burning with passion, constantly living in loneliness, unmet sexual desire and the love of a partner be something that God would be against? To me the notion of suffering this way when you have no control over what your ex did is ludicrous.

I know i'm the one seeking advice here, but that does not mean that I don't know the bible fairly well nor does it mean that I don't have my own opinion. Even if I was not in this situation and seeking this advice I would still give the answers I am giving now and my personal opinion. To me(open for interpretation) if I summed up what the bible says about marriage, divorce and remarriage, is it is saying that divorce is bad, it's hated and if you go out and divorce that good woman you got who treated you like a king for petty reasons or if you just wanted to be with younger women for fun, than you don't deserve another wife and you aught to crawl on your hands and knees and go get your wife back if she will take you back. But if there was something substantial that broke that covenant and will always be a hindrance to you emotionally, or if your spouse leaves you and refuses to come back because they refuse to, or are abusive or an adulterer, than they are done, you are free to move on.

Just my interpretation. Thanks for the replies.

ImaginaryDay · Jul 5, 2015

Abstinence is a good and right goal, but may not work in the long run. Paul talks about the "works of the flesh", and how the spirit and the flesh are "contrary" to one another. So we can want to do right, but the fleshly desire may be with us to cause us to fall. After a couple of failed relationships, I found that what I needed to do to prepare myself for marriage was to study and find out what constituted godly character in a husband. I did scriptural study, I read (Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, and Boundaries in Marriage by Cloud and Townsend were good places to start), I was prayerful, and did a lot of seeking for the Lord's will. Believe me, I was pretty well broken and had to built up again before I could even consider marriage for myself. This may be hard to hear, but the lady you have now may need to go. P:erhaps she can allow you the time you need to be ready for marriage again, but if not, then...

As far as remarriage - study, Seek the Lord, allow Him to guide you and change your heart and mind. And consider my first response. Some others may be right, though. If it appears that remarriage is not the will of God for you, then it's not. But that's your decision, along with careful prayer and study, not the opinions of any of us.

Winken · Jul 5, 2015

ninjatoth said:
So what is your stance on Matthew 5 31-32? against?
I know i'm the one seeking advice here

You are asking too many questions. The truth is found in the post by ScottA, followed by my post. Stop comparing you and your fiance with non-Spiritual comments from others. You and she get your own house in order.

If I were you I would read those two posts and then drop out of this thread.

May our Lord quiet you down, remove your doubts and fears, and you and she place the whole of your trust in Him. Once you've done that, the two of you should never bring this subject up again.

"The past is forgotten, a lost memory, no fears to remind us, at last we are free."

ninjatoth · Jul 5, 2015

Thanks for all the support, advice and opinions no matter which way they sway. One thing is for certain, this is an issue that not everyone agrees on, and there are quite a few issues that not everyone agrees on simply because the bible either does not make it clear enough or the verses can easily be up for interpretation in different directions. The basics I know are never debated, Jesus is lord, God is good and the 10 commandments are still always true. I know fornicating and adultery are wrong, homosexual marriage is wrong and all of that, it's just issues like the one I am struggling with that I wish I could just get God's cell number and find a yes or no right now, but obviously that's not going to happen that way. I am not going to leave my girlfriend, she is the best thing that has came into my life and is genuinely my best friend in the word and she feels likewise, a day without each other just isn't right. We only see each other 1-2 times a week but we talk everyday and I need her. I am a single father and losing her friendship and support would be not good. I will treat her as I would a virgin, no sex and nothing too romantic and if I do that, at least I know that no matter what I am not living in sin no matter what the ultimate outcome will be for marriage.

ImaginaryDay · Jul 5, 2015

Winken said:
You are asking too many questions. The truth is found in the post by ScottA, followed by my post. Stop comparing you and your fiance with non-Spiritual comments from others. You and she get your own house in order.

We are not arbiters of truth. The Holy Spirit will lead us into all truth, as He will for the OP.

Winken · Jul 5, 2015

ImaginaryDay said:
We are not arbiters of truth. The Holy Spirit will lead us into all truth, as He will for the OP.

I should have capitalized Truth. That's what both posts were about. His Truth.

:wave:

ninjatoth · Jul 5, 2015

ImaginaryDay said:
We are not arbiters of truth. The Holy Spirit will lead us into all truth, as He will for the OP.

I feel like I usually am pretty good at knowing the truth. In my life experiences if something wasn't meant to be it's full of trouble and no matter how hard I try I fail and people or things leave me. On the opposite side of that is when I think I know what I want, then something totally different comes along that is good and I can't seem to get rid of no matter how many mistakes I make, like my current girlfriend for instance. And of course the feelings of peace vs a nagging unsettling feeling. My decipher problems arise a lot partly because I have multiple anxiety disorders, and sometimes they make it almost impossible to calm down and be okay with anything at first.

ImaginaryDay · Jul 5, 2015

Winken said:
I should have capitalized Truth. That's what both posts were about. His Truth.

My bad. Apologies. :oldthumbsup:

Winken · Jul 5, 2015

ninjatoth said:
I feel like I usually am pretty good at knowing the truth. In my life experiences if something wasn't meant to be it's full of trouble and no matter how hard I try I fail and people or things leave me. On the opposite side of that is when I think I know what I want, then something totally different comes along that is good and I can't seem to get rid of no matter how many mistakes I make, like my current girlfriend for instance. And of course the feelings of peace vs a nagging unsettling feeling. My decipher problems arise a lot partly because I have multiple anxiety disorders, and sometimes they make it almost impossible to calm down and be okay with anything at first.

There is a first person personal pronoun "I". Go back through your posts. Read the context of your use of "I". Is there doubt, fear, multiple excuses for behavior, blame.......... ???

There is another "I". It is altogether Spiritual. It is the "I" that speaks when one is listening to the Holy Spirit. Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.

Visit a local MD about those anxiety disorders.

ninjatoth · Jul 5, 2015

Let me put it this way. You know how some people in history never had a bible, yet they gave thanks to the one that created the heavens and the earth and were inherently good and did what was right, always making sure to do the right things like how many native Americans did before Christianity was brought over here. Well, if I had never read a bible yet I knew God through the spirit alone, there would nothing in me that would tell me that anything I was doing is wrong as far as working towards remarriage one day. I know that there is no possibility of being with either of my exes again because my heart would clearly say that in and of itself would be wrong, beyond wrong, so if there is no ex that loves me, wants me and wishes I were dead, than what would ever be wrong with taking a woman that actually loves me as my bride. That's my heart and what it feels and what I often feel when I pray to God. It's the written word that is making me question everything. Now I certainly do not think I am above the word, but I do question my interpretation of it, and on this remarriage issue it's always followed by a gloomy feeling. That feeling does not feel like it is from God honestly, it is a defeated feeling. When I do what I know is right, I feel wonderful, and almost everything I do right matches up with the word on what is right, but this is one of the one things that do not line up for me. My heart tells me i'm right, my interpretation of half of the word about remarriage/divorce seems like it is permitted, the other half seems like it's dead against it-so I struggle.

NothingIsImpossible · Jul 6, 2015

Well its why its split among people. Heres how I come to my conclusion on my view.

Mark was approached by men multiple times about divorce. People kept saying "Well what if <example> happens, then can I divorce?". So eventually Mark tells them adultery is an ok reason to divorce. Now some things in the bible are direct, others are lessons to teach us things. What I mean is in this case with Mark he was showing the reader that while divorce should never be done, a man (or woman really) will still try to justify and find a reason to divorce no matter what they are told until they are given a excuse to go divorce. Its in our hearts as sinners, we find loopholes if we can. So its why he also told them adultery was just to show that point. He didn't mean it is ok though. I follow that up by more importantly the fact God says He hates divorce. So in the end Hes the Word and Word is God. So thats how I approach it.

Am I saying its fair? Not from a human stand point. But theres a ton of things in this world that we aren't allowed to do. Then again I may be wrong about the whole thing. I'm imperfect too.

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