- Feb 5, 2002
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They're called standers—men and women abandoned by their spouses, still living out their marriage vows.
One sunny day, I received an anguished message from a distraught Catholic wife and mother whom I’ll call “Sarah.” Sarah and her children had been left devastated by her husband’s affair and subsequent abandonment of their marriage—but that is not what had her in tears this day.
Sarah told me she had been listening to Catholic radio when she heard a divorce and annulment “expert” treating the issue of those who “can’t move on” after spousal abandonment. The message was clear: if someone has moved on from his relationship with you, then there is something emotionally or mentally wrong with you unless you move on as well. It is “unhealthy,” you see, to stay true to a spouse who doesn’t want you anymore.
Sarah is what is called a stander—a spouse who stays faithful to her vows, even after abandonment, separation, or civil divorce (and even if the stander is the one who had to physically separate due to dangerous circumstances). These folks “stand” for their marriages, knowing that the sacrament of matrimony is permanent and indissoluble, with most hoping and praying for eventual redemption and reunion.
Continued below.
www.catholic.com
One sunny day, I received an anguished message from a distraught Catholic wife and mother whom I’ll call “Sarah.” Sarah and her children had been left devastated by her husband’s affair and subsequent abandonment of their marriage—but that is not what had her in tears this day.
Sarah told me she had been listening to Catholic radio when she heard a divorce and annulment “expert” treating the issue of those who “can’t move on” after spousal abandonment. The message was clear: if someone has moved on from his relationship with you, then there is something emotionally or mentally wrong with you unless you move on as well. It is “unhealthy,” you see, to stay true to a spouse who doesn’t want you anymore.
Sarah is what is called a stander—a spouse who stays faithful to her vows, even after abandonment, separation, or civil divorce (and even if the stander is the one who had to physically separate due to dangerous circumstances). These folks “stand” for their marriages, knowing that the sacrament of matrimony is permanent and indissoluble, with most hoping and praying for eventual redemption and reunion.
Continued below.
The Hidden Martyrs for Marriage
They're called standers—men and women abandoned by their spouses, still living out their marriage vows. They need the Church's support.
