What if there are no interesting christian to date ? Dating unbelievers

[lanceleo]

Ok how would u handle this ? U tell her:" I am not really attracted to you physically but I am trying to force myself ? Shall we try ? "
I mean it is an insult somehow, she will think u are crazy.
Usually u ask a women on date you are somehow physically attracted to or not ?

Of course that's not the way to do it. Fellowship with her. Find some common grounds and build up from there.

 

[Curiousmind]

Of course that's not the way to do it. Fellowship with her. Find some common grounds and build up from there.

This is only possible if the setting is ideal, for example same church or somehing, same work place, if you for example meet someone from another church or online, so you will not see them that often, it is not possible

 

[Curiousmind]

This is only possible if the setting is ideal, for example same church or somehing, same work place, if you for example meet someone from another church or online, so you will not see them that often, it is not possible

And why would u as a man cold approach some christian woman in another church u are not physically attracted to ? Doesnt make sense.

 

[Bobber]

What is the point if you are not attracted to her physically ? Shouldn't we date to marry ? I mean before going out on dates, nowadays u first chat online,why would I chat with someone I am not physically attracted to ? It is a waste of time. For non romantic stuff I got my dudes.

So why not praying to God to bring the one he has for you? You say you're a Christian. Can you trust in God that he would like to give you the desires of your heart?

 

[Curiousmind]

So why not praying to God to bring the one he has for you? You say you're a Christian. Can you trust in God that he would like to give you the desires of your heart?

I prayed so long so long, I am really getting old, still a virgin because fornication is a sin, still haven't met christian women where there is mutual attraction, but I have met many non christian women where there is mutual attraction, I dont even have to try so hard to get her to like me. Marrying someone you are not attracted to, is not a piece of cake, in the end you will hurt her, woman want to be cerished, recieve compliments etc, how are u gonna do that if you are not attracted to the person right ? Look if a christian woman that I am not attracted to, keep chasing me, yes this is not reality, usually the man most do the chasing, I would give her a chance, because she then knows I am not really interested in her, she is then ready to be rejected anytime, but this is just fantasy, no woman will keep chasing a man. Now I understand why some brothers or sisters in my church did the missionary dating thing, they were getting old and they didnt want to marry some christian they are not attracted to.

 

[Bobber]

I prayed so long so long, I am really getting old, still a virgin because fornication is a sin, still haven't met christian women where there is mutual attraction, but I have met many non christian women where there is mutual attraction, I dont even have to try so hard to get her to like me. Marrying someone you are not attracted to, is not a piece of cake, in the end you will hurt her, woman want to be cerished, recieve compliments etc, how are u gonna do that if you are not attracted to the person right ? Look if a christian woman that I am not attracted to, keep chasing me, yes this is not reality, usually the man most do the chasing, I would give her a chance, because she then knows I am not really interested in her, she is then ready to be rejected anytime, but this is just fantasy, no woman will keep chasing a man. Now I understand why some brothers or sisters in my church did the missionary dating thing, they were getting old and they didnt want to marry some christian they are not attracted to.

There's a lot of dynamics that can take place in a relationship and good marriages aren't always filled with extreme feelings that the other is there soul mate. And yet people can still have very good marriages.

 

[Neogaia777]

Generally people get with people that they are at least semi-attracted to physically, and that can also be semi-attracted to them physically, for the purposes of some fun or reproduction occasionally, and so that they can propagate themselves and continue their lines hopefully, and that they also can work together with at building a life, etc. Which means they also have to get along pretty well most of the time mostly also, and both be mature enough to be fully united in working toward that common goal in life always, etc, and that is for most of their life, etc. And then towards the end of it, they also want someone that they can grow old with and be happy with when they are old also, etc. And then they die, etc. And then they hope that there is something beyond that or after that hopefully, etc. And that is the general story/history of most people's lives, etc.

I seek to have a life that will be more than this, etc.

It is a risk, because my life could actually turn out to be less, etc.

God Bless.

 

[Curiousmind]

Generally people get with people that they are at least semi-attracted to physically, and that can also be semi-attracted to them physically, for the purposes of some fun or reproduction occasionally, and so that they can propagate themselves and continue their lines hopefully, and that they also can work together with at building a life, etc. Which means they also have to get along pretty well most of the time mostly also, and both be mature enough to be fully united in working toward that common goal in life always, etc, and that is for most of their life, etc. And then towards the end of it, they also want someone that they can grow old with and be happy with when they are old also, etc. And then they die, etc. And then they hope that there is something beyond that or after that hopefully, etc. And that is the general story/history of most people's lives, etc.

I seek to have a life that will be more than this, etc.

It is a risk, because my life could actually turn out to be less, etc.

God Bless.

Like you said, u got to be physically attracted to her a little bit otherwise it will not work.

 

[Neogaia777]

Like you said, u got to be physically attracted to her a little bit otherwise it will not work.

Generally, yes.

But you also have to be reasonable about your own attractiveness as well.

It's at least important when you are young anyway, etc.

Becomes less important as you get older, etc.

Because at that point, mutual compatability in other ways becomes much more important, etc.

Which you should also be seeking when you are younger, but it also has to be along with physical compatability and attractiveness also when you are younger, etc.

God Bless.

 

[Sabertooth]

But thing is what if there are no interesting christians to date, what then ?

To me, it means one of two things:

1. you are not circulating enough, or
2. God is not done using you as a single person.

When Abraham & Sarah got impatient, he begat Ishmael...!

Right On Time, Roby Duke (2006)

 

[mikeforjesus]

I think the problem is with you that you consider your fellow Christian’s as not worthy of your interest. The same goes for women are such really Christian if they have no interest in another Christian and expect too much if person has less skills but he still is interested in the other to be doing what one can in relationship. We don’t marry for better genes but to produce children of God. And one fault in genes is corrected over generations.

 

[com7fy8]

So you don't want to marry someone who you find physical attractive ?

I would say "no, but" > you might wish to know what I mean. In lust, yes I want women who look attractive, but in love I am discovering so much better. And I am not enjoying how lust can still play me for a fool.

I am 76 years old, and I have discovered that God's gentle and humble and all-loving love is better in intimacy and pleasure, than my sexual attraction stuff has been.

So no I do not want lust to attract me to a person.

"not in passion of lust" (in 1 Thessalonians 4:5)

But yes I can still give in to stupidity of lust; and so I need to be corrected by God so I genuinely love each woman and am attracted in God's love in case He wants me to marry someone.

Even if a woman is not attractive like young and foolish people can be so charming - - He in His grace can make things better and nicer than lust can > "My strength is made perfect in weakness," Jesus says in 2 Corinthians 12:9.

So, if a lady is weak in being outwardly attractive, God's grace can surprise the husband He wants to marry her lololololololol

And in case a guy is judging a woman by how attractive she looks, in order to use her for pleasure, that is not attraction for reproducing children who know how to love. A wise Christian man looks for a lady who is the example he wants for bringing up their children. So, Biblical sexual attraction means reproductive interest in a woman who is maturing as a good example for children.

So, as a guy 76 years old, now I have learned this. And I am in love with a number of women who were not attractive to me, and now in love I find them attractive in their personalities, because they are sweet in Jesus. And the intimacy of personal affection and tender caring is better than being intimate with my own sexual sensations that I have been able to use a woman to get.

 

[trophy33]

We don’t marry for better genes but to produce children of God. .

The children of God are produced by gospel, not by marriage. Marriage is for physical children to be born, not for spiritual children.

And from the physical side of things, good genes are preferable. We want a healthy population. And who is healthy is also attractive.

Marriage should not be over-spiritualized.

 

[mikeforjesus]

I tell you many who call themselves born again Christians are not Christian at all just as orthodox or catholic if they reject and judge in their heart others as unworthy who seek their help. Ofcourse one needs to accept gospel but the point is if ones genes are seen as more important than persons faith you wont have children of God. And doing a good work for the needy is more important than having good genes. They will eventually get better and a person a bit needy in some way may be closer to God in seeing how unfair the world can be so learn that he should be attached to God and this way he receives his discipline from God.

 

[com7fy8]

A woman who is Christian will attract a man's attention to Jesus, like the example we have in 1 Peter 3:1-4.

And she is attractive to Jesus, by being beautiful in God's gentle and quiet love >

"rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4)

 

[Sabertooth]

The children of God are produced by gospel, not by marriage. Marriage is for physical children to be born, not for spiritual children.

And from the physical side of things, good genes are preferable. We want a healthy population. And who is healthy is also attractive.

Marriage should not be over-spiritualized.

"Yet you say, “For what reason?”
Because the Lord has been witness
Between you and the wife of your youth,
With whom you have dealt treacherously;
Yet she is your companion
And your wife by covenant.
But did He not make them one,
Having a remnant of the Spirit?
And why one?
He seeks godly offspring.
Therefore take heed to your spirit,
And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth." Malachi 2:14-15 NKJV

OP, concerning beauty/attraction, that is subjective.
She will be attractive to you, if she is not attractive to anybody else.
How many men must she appeal to?
How many women must you appeal to...?

 

[Neogaia777]

@Curiousmind

Sometimes what is attractive or not is in the eye of the beholder also, and can be different for each person also, so don't automatically dismiss a woman right away just based on physical looks, etc. Sometimes you can have sexual attraction just because of how a person is, or because of their personality, etc, sexual attraction can also be developed over time also, etc. So keep these things in mind also, ok. And don't not give someone a chance just because these things are not automatically present immediately, ok. Companionship and fellowship that is always good is also valued much, much more with age and over time also, etc, but I think I already told you about that already. But something that sexually attracts is most always usually desired when you are young, or are middle-aged, etc, but don't just automatically discount someone just because it's not present right off the bat, or immediately right away, ok, because they might just surprise you, etc.

God Bless.

 

[trophy33]

"Yet you say, “For what reason?”
Because the Lord has been witness
Between you and the wife of your youth,
With whom you have dealt treacherously;
Yet she is your companion
And your wife by covenant.
But did He not make them one,
Having a remnant of the Spirit?
And why one?
He seeks godly offspring.
Therefore take heed to your spirit,
And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth." Malachi 2:14-15 NKJV

I am not sure what is your point.

 

[Sabertooth]

I am not sure what is your point.

That verse says that there is a spiritual dimension to child-bearing in a Christian marriage.

 

[trophy33]

That verse says that there is a spiritual dimension to child-bearing in a Christian marriage.

Malachi is not a Christian literature. Its not about Christian marriage.