If you have never had the desire to be of the opposite sex--then you can not equate what you have with what they have. It is 2 different issues. Transgenders know they are the opposite sex, from very very young. Not a question of wanting to be the opposite sex, they feel they are. And I am still waiting for someone to explain to me about the twins. The ones where one was born with both sets of genitals, one was removed, the other twin was not affected. The surgically altered baby was raised a boy, given male hormones at the right time, he was never told about the surgery, just told he had to have hormones because he had a medical condition. The boy from the very beginning felt he was a girl---throughout his life he thought it, and he told his parents he must be gay because he had always thought of himself as female and it had tortured him---that is when they told him about the surgery. He had no female parts, was given male hormones, raised a boy--yet always felt female. How is that explained as just talking yourself into wanting to be the opposite sex? He was just fine after being reverted to female. God gave you the answer that was for your problem, what makes you think His answer will be the same for someone who has a different problem? Why can't you accept that God has given them their answer, for now.
Hi,
Tears. Endearment. Love.
With fewer emotions from you now, but with a thought for for that other person still; One day, before God started making me think differently about being transgendered, I am in front of a picture of Jesus.
This will soon be the second time, He speaks to me from that picture. The first time, only a month and a half earlier both He, and Mary, made motions with their hands. I was handed off and up somewhere, by both of them. The looks on their faces were the same. It was possibly Euphoria. That Euphoria was cleary not for me. It was for some one else. They were extremely pleased for someone else.
As far as for giving myself up to God, the thought to that other person here, on this day, a month and a half after being passed off and up somewhere, but still being on earth, I am talking to Jesus, in the picture. I have no reason to believe He is there. It is only a picture of Him.
You both will hear of the contents of that talk, if I can remember it. And, were it not for being cautioned of not giving myself up to Gid as my possible problem, this I could not put here as prayers are done in secret to God, normally.
The year is 2007. It is maybe late summer. Much has happened to me in the last 7 years. More though within the last two years, for I have been treated to the core personality of Jesus, the Essence of The Trinitarian God, even Mary as she looked when she was 49, immediately before she died on earth.
Nothing, in that time frame was abnormal to me. As I talked to Jesus, He would be so pleased with something that I said to Him, that He would feel it in His Stomach. I felt that in him, but was so upset, that I paid no attention to it.
Jesus, I don't want eternal life. Instantly I feel what He feels. So, just almost as quickly, I knew He knew this about me, for as long as I knew that I did not want eternal life.
His pleasure was in me finally revealing this to Him.
I would continue on, knowing He always knew this about me. Then I knew this. I didn't before.
If, this can be painless ceasing to exist, please I would like that. If it cannot, as I am destroyed both body and soul in Hell, that too is okay.
For all I have done good, pkease give it away. Remember me not. I want nothing for this.
For all that I.... Immediately I felt horrible, for I knew what I was going to say, and the real story.
For all that I have done bad, please forgive me.
Full well did I then know that I have probably done more wrong than good, plus all that I have done that is Good, was really God, doing or causing that Good and not me.
Thusly, I felt horrible at my saying those unbalanced words, of my good deeds, compared to my bad deeds and thoughts in God's eyes, His actual knowledge of my badness.
I went on though.
Please if I can though, can I still keep working for you? It is just too much fun.
I was done. I had no assurances if my prayer to work for God still would be granted.
Peace, came over me. I knew my life now. I would continue to work for God, and then one day when it was my time, I would cease to exist forever.
Time stood still. my life is over, Each day I am extremely pleased. I knew hiw my life would go, till the day I died.
As time passed, I don't remember much of that time, other than my satisfaction at being granted ceasing to exist.
I don't remember much other than that, because God woukd do something to me, a month and a half later. Only then, would I have to want eternal life again, for the first time.
I did not see that consequence coming, nor would I see the consequence of God The Father having me talked to, by Gabriel, but as a girl, not a guy. Gabriel spoke to me, what The Father, God The Father wanted ta ask me. I had zero clues, this was ever going to happen, Zero.
Maybe, being certain, almost certain, for forty five or so days is enough in any ones life, with God. Some thing is approaching me from far off.
I am afraid. I do not know what it it, but I can sense it. It moves closer. It is God The Father. He gets closer and closer.
Finally He arrives. Nothing is normal. Too much is happening. I will not know for years all that happened.
I am in my every day clothes. I work for Him. I am in my every day clothes.
He arrives, He is above a thin layer of clouds. Quiet is everywhere. IT IS HIM, but it is also Him. There is no other presence felt. Stopping, I see a lower layer of clouds. It has been rolled up and pushed aside. Above the thinner layer is God The Father. I see His colors. Never before has He ever come to me like this. Some time passes. Something or someone pops up on the left, above the burm of the rolled up clouds. He is darker. I am frightened of him. He is 17 1/2 years old, whatever that means. He starts to talk, and I am upset.
What is he talking about. He should not be here. I was really upset at him. This is about me, and God The Father, What are you doing here.
Finally, I was out of words, and yes I can listen while internally talking.
So, I listened. I remembered all the words, as he talked and I looked towads him, and totally objected to him. He had so far said to me: "I'd like to"
My point so far, is do I sound like someone who has not given my life up to God? I don't know what else I could do by then. What?
Everyone who is Christian says God can solve any problem. Mine was solved before this. I did feel like a woman in a man's body. Recently after my required trip for God, I was completely thinking like a female now, alk the women knew it, and there was precisely no tool available to me then to revert back, as no doctor could tell me why. I had lost a close friend of mine, because one day he asked me, what us your problem. You and I are going to sit down and talk about it.
The day came, it was bitter. A bitter day. It would end mysteriously. I would tell him, my problem was that felt like a woman in a man's body. I lost my male friend for life.
He, though was a mystical, old Catholic Priest who retired. At the end of tge cloudy day, he asked God to straighten thus out for me. A beam if light, hit my van through thise clouds, but I never knew if that was God answereing His prayer or not. I still don't know.
That person, who later I was let known, spiritually with interior words, that this was an angel, continues to talk. "ask you a question, will you marry me?"
In short, 48 hours later, I gave my answer, and only was going to pass out twice, unknowingly. Both times, prior, God The Father left me. He had something said to me, as He was leaving.
On the third day, trusting in Him, I said YES! It is what I knew of Him by then, and His Words given to me each day, when He left, that allowed me to say YES!
What He had said to me, each day when He departed was: "I would not have asked you the question if you were not up to it"
I never really understood what He meant by that. On the third and final day, that this question would ever be asked to me, somehow that made sense to me. It made sense enough.
It took me another six years to realize, that God The Father sees me as female. Only then did I finally start to do what is called transition.
LOVE,
...Mary., .... .
