Give "Bad" Advice (2)

[.chrys.]

Buy a couple of goats. One male, one female. Make it an investment for your future!

I also don't feel like mowing the lawn but it needs it. We can't afford a couple of goats.

 

[lucypevensie]

Have a few truckloads of beach sand delivered onto your lawn. It will kill the grass, and all the neighbor kids will love your giant sandbox! And no more stupid mowing.

I'm not sure how my kids can get to and from school on the days I have to work.

 

[Daughter of His]

tell them your work days are their skip days so you won't have to concern yourself

What do I do with the dog when we're away on vacation?

 

[.chrys.]

Get another dog, that way it won't be lonely!

My daughter was bit by a spider. What do I do?

 

[forest flower]

Tell her that it will be okay then kiss it better for her.


How can I pack everything but pack light for two weeks?

 

[lucypevensie]

If you want to pack everything then you want to make sure everything you own is small and lightweight. Get rid of the jeans and jackets and replace them with swimsuits and flip flops.

How do you make a good breakfast smoothie?

 

[.chrys.]

Have bacon and eggs and quit calling me smoothie!

All the trash bins are full. I have more trash a-comin'. What to do??!?

 

[lucypevensie]

^

Skip the trash bins and just flush all the garbage down the toilet.

I'm not sure what the weather's supposed to be like tomorrow. How will I know what to wear?

 

[.chrys.]

Dress in layers. Bikini first, then a one-piece. Camisole and undies. T-shirt and shorts. Jeggings. Long-sleeved under armor. Jeans. Hoodie. Scarf. Raincoat. Downy vest. Parka. And...carry an umbrella just to be sure.

My toilets are now clogged. What do I do?

 

[brinny]

pour some bacon grease down there and see what happens...

my kitten is climbin' da curtains....what should i do?

 

[.chrys.]

Put bacon grease on them, see what happens!

I don't have bacon grease, so I tried petroleum jelly. Didn't work. Now my hands are really slippery, and so is the floor. What do I do?

 

[brinny]

roller skate on it....

how do i cook this chicken quickly?

 

[.chrys.]

Rub bacon grease all over it and then toss it in a deep fryer set at 750 degrees. Should be done in no time!

My grandmother's signature looks nothing like mine. How can I forge her name to pay her bills?

 

[rick357]

Rub bacon grease all over it and then toss it in a deep fryer set at 750 degrees. Should be done in no time!

My grandmother's signature looks nothing like mine. How can I forge her name to pay her bills?

Give an art student five bucks to copy it...but test it by paying your bills first.

How do I get a raise?

 

[brinny]

just go on in there and demand one loudly while flailing yer arms...it will be so memorable that your boss will be impressed and give you anything you ask for

what do i do with all these leaves?

 

[.chrys.]

Make like a tree...and leave.

The next episode of Doctor Who won't be aired until next Saturday. I don't want to wait. What can I do??!?

 

[lucypevensie]

Take a strong tranquilizer, and you will sleep through the next few days. When you wake up it will seem as if no time at all has passed.

There's this guy who seems interested in my daughter, but she is not the least bit interested in him. How will this guy ever get a clue?

 

[rick357]

Take a strong tranquilizer, and you will sleep through the next few days. When you wake up it will seem as if no time at all has passed.

There's this guy who seems interested in my daughter, but she is not the least bit interested in him. How will this guy ever get a clue?

Have a.couple guys abduct him, tie him to a chair in a dark room with a spot light, and water board him till he agrees to move to anouther state....you can never be too carfull as a parent...

How do I get scuff marks off white shoes?

 

[.chrys.]

Cover them with White Out!

School is getting to be too expensive. How can I go on affording to send my kids?

 

[rick357]

Cover them with White Out!

School is getting to be too expensive. How can I go on affording to send my kids?

Find a black market sweat shop and trade the kids after school time for some quick cash...plus they can learn a trade in case the school thing doesn't work out.

How can I stretch my grocery money?