I know as a Christian I am not supposed to be angry or resentful of others, but I still struggle with this every day toward some people who hurt me deeply in the past. I still have love in my heart for every person who caused me pain, but overwhelming sadness and hurt for the things that they did and that some continue to do. As a defense mechanism i catch myself being cold, avoiding and when pushed to the limit lashing out...Please pray for God to help heal the scars from my past, and allow me to forget those past hurts. I feel such guilt for having these feelings and for not being able to control the impulse to react the way that I do. There is one person that hurt me that every time I see him, I lash out and then suffer a week or two of deep depression over this inability to control my tongue. The other is my mother who I'm supporting because she is an addict and when she begins craving drugs, I lash out toward her. I know that if I could react with the love that I feel inside rather than with anger and frustration, that I could probably reach both of them for Christ, but instead I may be pushing them away.