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BlessedJourney said:My parents give everybody a chance, I am blessed there I guess.My siblings are a different story-- had I listened to my oldest sister on the day of my wedding I would have saved myself a ton of heartache.I think ones family can see many things we are unable to see and it would be great if we could listen.. but in most cases we do not listen and do not think they know"enough" to make a judgement.
It's really not as much about a parent(s) having an agenda as much as it is just having different perspectives on things. My parents would look favorably on someone who has absolutely no appeal to me whatsoever. My mother has always hinted at the availability of women who would rate about as eye catching to me as most men would. They think that I am superficial but honestly I cannot reason to myself why they would find someone attractive based on the sole reasons that they are raising a child and have a steady job. My parents seem to have no concept of chemistry and they certainly don't understand how mine works. It's not that I have no respect for their opinions, but that I realize that we are writing on different pages. I treat my parent's views as such as if I were being set up on a blind date by a female friend. You know one of the "Oh you just have to meet her..." And she turns out to be someone who is about as close in comparison to your minimal attrative wants as the constellation Taurus is to your house. That's because men and women are on different pages usually. I really wish I had parents who were as some people described on this thread but I don't see them changing anytime soon. As far as my mother giving me advice on women, after many relationships and 8 years of marriage there's not a lot that she could add to. In my experience the girls my mother would always try to con off on me when I was younger were "Run run for your lives!" types. My parents were friends before they were married and can never quite understand why it is that I have never found any of my female friends remotely attractive. But I will counter thats why they're my friends.mwb said:I agree. Our parents & family knows us best so they could be objective about whether someone is a good fit. It's when family has it's own agenda that can make things difficult.
Deliberatetourist said:My parents were friends before they were married and can never quite understand why it is that I have never found any of my female friends remotely attractive. But I will counter thats why they're my friends.
Deliberatetourist said:It's really not as much about a parent(s) having an agenda as much as it is just having different perspectives on things. My parents would look favorably on someone who has absolutely no appeal to me whatsoever. My mother has always hinted at the availability of women who would rate about as eye catching to me as most men would. They think that I am superficial but honestly I cannot reason to myself why they would find someone attractive based on the sole reasons that they are raising a child and have a steady job. My parents seem to have no concept of chemistry and they certainly don't understand how mine works. It's not that I have no respect for their opinions, but that I realize that we are writing on different pages. I treat my parent's views as such as if I were being set up on a blind date by a female friend. You know one of the "Oh you just have to meet her..." And she turns out to be someone who is about as close in comparison to your minimal attrative wants as the constellation Taurus is to your house. That's because men and women are on different pages usually. I really wish I had parents who were as some people described on this thread but I don't see them changing anytime soon. As far as my mother giving me advice on women, after many relationships and 8 years of marriage there's not a lot that she could add to. In my experience the girls my mother would always try to con off on me when I was younger were "Run run for your lives!" types. My parents were friends before they were married and can never quite understand why it is that I have never found any of my female friends remotely attractive. But I will counter thats why they're my friends.
None of my friends would ever think of introducing me to someone they know I would be patently unattracted to. They also know that I would show them the same courtesy. You've heard about the people who place more emphasis on looks and those who place more emphasis on what that person is like on the inside, well my parents would be the ubber extreme of the latter. I have never been attracted to women who are overweight with one exception I will add but it was very much an exception. But after my divorce all the women that my parents would hint to me that I should get to know were in my opinion very overweight. It was almost as if they were trying to find the complete opposite of what my wife was. My wife was very thin (size 4) and very, very attractive.chemica said:Interesting...would you date someone who your friends heavily disapprove of? Or maybe a better question is, are your friends the same way as your parents and would favor someone who isn't right for you?
I think that family does have a sincere desire to help. But perhaps certain parents are better suited/more understanding or what is right for their child than others. I would expect most parents to be more overly protective of who their child ends up with than underly selective. Your situation is somewhat interesting in that regard.
How many years has your mom been married?
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