Would you date an unbeliever?

remy · Feb 10, 2005

i'm probably the only person in this thread saying this, but i've known so many non-christians who weren't as stuck up as christians and they weren't out to use me for their own selfish ambition. not saying i'll never show interest in christians again, but i've sort of lost a lot of reason to.

chanis · Feb 10, 2005

I would defintely not date anyone who didn't have a personal relationship w/God...I believe they must be able to challenge my walk with God and encourage me in my relationship with him, if they can't do this then it's a definite no...I believe if I'm going to be with someone they must share in the most important part of life which my spiritual journey..."how can 2 walk together if they don't agree..." - Amos

theophilus05 · Feb 10, 2005

I wouldnt date an unbeliever because of 2 Cor. 16:14. It says, "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" I think that kind of says it for us. We should be dating people we want to marry and we need to marry people that will help us get to heaven not drag us down.

In Him,
Matt

treerootbill · Feb 10, 2005

carmi said:
But I would like to know why it is more immoral for a woman than for a man. The way you wrote one might think it is okay for man to marry a non-christian. This is what you wrote:

"It is immoral, and much more immoral for a woman to engage in this sin. they should learn how to choose a good christian husband, not being held ransom over their hormones for some smooth talking non christian who will probably leave them for welfare taxes to bring up the children."

Yes it is immoral for both. I was really talking about realistic morals, not backed up by scripture unfortunately. Men who are not christians are more likely to get divorced, and there may be children involved. If there are children involved then the men are more likely to cheat than the women. Thus women should save themselves so that their children can have a good christian father. Women are much more valuable in reproductive terms.

theophilus05 · Feb 10, 2005

I dont necessarily think its immoral but its harder on the relationship. Ive even heard of instances when men who are unbelievers take the car keys so their wife and kids have to stay home instead of going to church. Also, in that story the woman took her kids and started walking to church and was picked up by her husband and he took her to church himself. But, the main thing is that its not necessarily immoral but it is ill advised by the bible. And for the question of the roles of men and women. The man is supposed to be the head of the household and the woman is supposed to be submissive. So, how can a wife be submissive to a husband that doesnt have the same belief in God? Again, its not a moral issue of getting married but more like an issue of morals. Do both of you share the same morals? Are you willing to be the spiritual leader in the relationship? Can you be with this person and totally follow God?

mixiejoeusa · Feb 10, 2005

Dating a non-believer, is a death trap, you have know idea how it can bring you down. I dated a non-believer for almost a year and a half, it was the biggest mistake I could of ever done. You don't realize, but you start to pick up each others bad habits. I want a partner, that I can pray with, who understands how much I love God and has a relationship with God as well.

Jessica

Love&Pain · Feb 10, 2005

You know what my pastor says, "Never date someone that you don't plan on marrying." If you know that the person isn't the one for you and you know it won't work out, then don't date them. It doesn't mean that you cannot go out as friends but don't be an a relationship with him/her. It is common sense. Just thought I'd add it since I just remember him saying that in one of his messages.

God Bless.

Monique

sweetlambofgod · Feb 10, 2005

depends on the person as a whole

Psalms34 · Feb 11, 2005

So God says through scripture that He does not want Christians (those whom belong to him) to marry or relationship with non-Christians as has been pointed out many times in this thread.

Now my question is does this conflict with any other passages found in the bible? Are there passages that conflict with the ones that say "don't do it!" making it ok to do so?

I tend to apply God's word to my life as best I can not because of religion but out of my relationship/Love for the Lord, but any such contradictions found in scripture concerning this position I am unaware of. If there are such contradictions, please share them so I can have a better understanding to the opposite position of those that say "Don't do it!". Please list these passages because so far I've seen none listed within the posts that answer yes/depends.

Tenorvoice · Feb 11, 2005

^....Well since 2cnd Timothy 3:16 says that ALL Scripture is God Breathed (inspired) and since God is absolute Truth and can never lie or contradict Himself, then there is absolutly NO Scripture that teaches against its self. ANYWHERE!!

fishstix · Feb 11, 2005

ianl said:
Yes it is immoral for both. I was really talking about realistic morals, not backed up by scripture unfortunately. Men who are not christians are more likely to get divorced, and there may be children involved. If there are children involved then the men are more likely to cheat than the women. Thus women should save themselves so that their children can have a good christian father. Women are much more valuable in reproductive terms.

Shouldn't men also save themselves equally as much so that their children can have a good Christian mother? Both male and female are equally necessary in reproductive terms.

Love&Pain · Feb 11, 2005

fishstix said:
Shouldn't men also save themselves equally as much so that their children can have a good Christian mother? Both male and female are equally necessary in reproductive terms.

Brother!

lady_of_god · Feb 12, 2005

simply.... NO!

It wouldn't work out.

treerootbill · Feb 13, 2005

fishstix said:
Both male and female are equally necessary in reproductive terms.

Incorrect and you know it.

fishstix · Feb 13, 2005

ianl said:
Incorrect and you know it.

How do you figure? A female can't reproduce without a male. And a male can't reproduce without a female. You need one of each in order to have reproduction take place. If either one is missing - male or female - there will be no reproduction. So both are equally necessary for reproduction.

And for human beings, and more specifically Christians, the ideal situation is to have both a Christian father and a Christian mother. Lacking either one - Christian mother or Christian father - is equally problematic. And it is just as much the responsibility of Christian men as of Christian women to do their best to have both in place for their children.

Psalms34 · Feb 13, 2005

ianl said:
Yes it is immoral for both. I was really talking about realistic morals, not backed up by scripture unfortunately. Men who are not christians are more likely to get divorced, and there may be children involved. If there are children involved then the men are more likely to cheat than the women. Thus women should save themselves so that their children can have a good christian father. Women are much more valuable in reproductive terms.

Well, I've been following this line of discussion in this thread (not the OP question) trying hard to withhold my comment but I'll throw it out there now.

In a way I agree (or recognize truth) with the comment saying that it is more so wrong for a Woman to do such things than it is for a man. Not that I personally agree with it or see scripture teaching this directly, especially in the NT, but culturally this is quite correct.

To illustrate the point, recall the story of the Woman that was brought before Jesus because she was caught in adultery? Where was the man she was doing this with? He was not also brought before Jesus. Why so? Because culturally it was not as bad for a man to do such things as it was for a woman (depending on the case).

I can get into reasoning regarding their views on this but this would be a discussion in itself. Generally though, in most cultures, women are generally held to a higher standard of conduct when it comes to sexuality.

But now in the eyes of God, we are all equally held to the higher standard. Be it for marriage, dating or any type of relationship of such manner (regarding the main question of the thread), we are required not to pursue such relationships out side of our Christian faith. Becoming a Christian after making a commitment to marriage is one thing, but pursuing a relationship as a Christian with a non-Christian is quite another thing (wrong thing) and this is very clear in scripture.

fishstix · Feb 13, 2005

Faith_Warrior said:
Well, I've been following this line of discussion in this thread (not the OP question) trying hard to withhold my comment but I'll throw it out there now.

In a way I agree (or recognize truth) with the comment saying that it is more so wrong for a Woman to do such things than it is for a man. Not that I personally agree with it or see scripture teaching this directly, especially in the NT, but culturally this is quite correct.

To illustrate the point, recall the story of the Woman that was brought before Jesus because she was caught in adultery? Where was the man she was doing this with? He was not also brought before Jesus. Why so? Because culturally it was not as bad for a man to do such things as it was for a woman (depending on the case).

I can get into reasoning regarding their views on this but this would be a discussion in itself. Generally though, in most cultures, women are generally held to a higher standard of conduct when it comes to sexuality.

But now in the eyes of God, we are all equally held to the higher standard. Be it for marriage, dating or any type of relationship of such manner (regarding the main question of the thread), we are required not to pursue such relationships out side of our Christian faith. Becoming a Christian after making a commitment to marriage is one thing, but pursuing a relationship as a Christian with a non-Christian is quite another thing (wrong thing) and this is very clear in scripture.

So, as Christians, should we be promoting the world's double standard or should we be promoting God's equally high standard?

Psalms34 · Feb 13, 2005

fishstix said:
So, as Christians, should we be promoting the world's double standard or should we be promoting God's equally high standard?

Well in the bible, polygamy (JUST for example purposes) is held as moral for a man to have more than one wife, but yet we see no place where a woman had more than one husband. In the US we do not allow polygamy (fully agree) because this is our Cultural standard. So no, Cultural standards are not always against God's moral standard if it does not directly violate it. Anyway, yes I can extract an essence of double standard in some cases from scripture, there are instances where women have a distinct role in society that a man is not held to, but in the same, man has a role to fulfill as well. Yet in most cases the directives are the same concerning general conduct and this is what we should hold to, male or female.

Love&Pain · Feb 13, 2005

I am done posting in this thread. Thank you for sharing everyone. I didn't think this thread would turn out to be a debate. I guess you have to expect the unexpected. Everyone has their own beliefs. We will all be judged before God one day. God bless and may you continue to seek God's wisdom. I love you in Jesus's name.

Psalms34 · Feb 13, 2005

love4jesus said:
I am done posting in this thread. Thank you for sharing everyone. I didn't think this thread would turn out to be a debate. I guess you have to expect the unexpected. Everyone has their own beliefs. We will all be judged before God one day. God bless and may you continue to seek God's wisdom. I love you in Jesus's name.

Who's debating? I see points of views but no real debating. Hmmm

Would you date an unbeliever?

If an unbeliever asked you out, what would you say?

yes

no

Depends

let me think about it

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