Would you date an unbeliever?

Iggster · Feb 8, 2005

I voted no........Praying with my SO and sharing our faith was a foreign concept to me. But now, the Lord is the foundation of my relationship with my SO. Being with a non-believer just puts me in a compromising position. When it comes to the Lord, there's just no compromise.

Lia · Feb 8, 2005

Been there done that, now i'd simply say no.

nhzname · Feb 8, 2005

Hmmm. Well maybe if he was taller than me.

Actually, I know better, but sometimes loneliness does make us more susceptible to compromise, doesn't it? Personally, I want a man that loves the Lord as I do, and even more, if possible. I want a man that will pray with me and will grow in Christ with me.

Think about this ... No matter how supportive a non-believer is of your faith, what kind of support is it if they have no real understanding of the faith? That understanding, where God reveals Himself to us, can only become real through the witness of the Holy Spirit.

Luke 1:45 · Feb 8, 2005

Not anymore. After a year of dating off and on, waiting for him to receive Christ, I realized God wanted me to "loose that man and let him go." So I just did. And I don't know what will happen next, whether he'll accept Christ down the line, and come back for me, or whether God has someone else in mind that He's been waiting all this time to bless me with. But I do know that either way, I'll be alright.

treerootbill · Feb 8, 2005

inchoate said:
Are you for real...... ?

anyway yeah I would date someone who is a unbeliever, I have done so in the past and would prob again in the future. Of course I would prefer to date someone who had the same religious beliefs as me. But as long as their understanding and supportive of me its not a issue.

Yes I am real.
I am being serious. The morality of a man should be held in higher esteem than many choose to hold it. Many marriages end in a split and in order to avoid this a man with high morality should be chosen. This means a serious christian.

Diane_Windsor · Feb 8, 2005

ianl said:
It is immoral, and much more immoral for a woman to engage in this sin.

Please respond to the PM I sent you Ian-this is a serious question that I would like answered. What you said was very chavinistic and double-standard in my eyes.

Faith_Warrior said:
If you are not doing courtship dating with other Christians, than you should just stay home.

LOL Josh Harris and his ideas on dating are overrated.

Faith_Warrior said:
I'm a guy so I hear what some really say. Once this guy, that didn't know I was a Christian, said to me that he would love to marry a Christian woman, he then added that he could then go out and have sex with other women knowing that his wife is not doing the same thing because she is a Christian. Slick, eh? Pretty common. And this really does happen. BTW, no I didn't deck him but I regret not doing so really, I've broken bones for less reason in my youth.

So you are going to judge an entire group of men based on the comments of one jerk? I know some "Christian" men who would do this.

Diane

Sketcher · Feb 8, 2005

ianl said:
It is immoral, and much more immoral for a woman to engage in this sin. they should learn how to choose a good christian husband, not being held ransom over their hormones for some smooth talking non christian who will probably leave them for welfare taxes to bring up the children.

Why is it more immoral?

the_man · Feb 8, 2005

This is a confusing thread title because the poll question doesn't follow from it. I would only date someone that I would consider exploring the possibility of marriage with. I would go out with a guy even.

JPPT1974 · Feb 8, 2005

fluffy_rainbow said:
No. I have in the past and it became painfully obvious why God commands us to not be unequally yoked. It's for our protection. I'm not saying non-christians lack morality; however, it's alot easier for them to drag you down than for you to lift them up. I am blessed to have someone in my life who prays for me and encourages me with Christian compassion. I wouldn't have that with an unbelieving partner.

God also wants us to as well pray that the lost become saved and that don't shove the bible or Christianity in their faces or else they think that you are a "paper pusher". But also pray despite it may take a long, long time but in the end, if it's in God's will, for that person to become a Christian.

nhzname · Feb 8, 2005

Bump!

fluffy_rainbow · Feb 8, 2005

ianl said:
This means a serious christian.

Eh, I don't like serious guys. I courted a guy once who chastized me because I went over to my mom's house and watched the show Friends once. He was a Christian, but he was too legalistic. That's why I'm glad my SO is a God-fearing man who believes that the Bible is the inspired and infallible Word of God, but also enjoys life. We're on a similar moral plane and that is very important to me. He doesn't chastize me where I fall short and I don't do that to him. Instead, we pray for one another's shortcomings and encourage one another to grow in the Lord.

Love&Pain · Feb 8, 2005

ianl said:
It is immoral, and much more immoral for a woman to engage in this sin. they should learn how to choose a good christian husband, not being held ransom over their hormones for some smooth talking non christian who will probably leave them for welfare taxes to bring up the children.

how is it more immoral for a woman then it is for a man to commit such an act? Please do not judge unbelievers, or perhaps stereotype them into a certain category. My grandmother was raised a catholic, she married my grandfather who didn't know the Lord as his personal savior. He never left her, or smooth talked her. Their relationship wasn't based on hormones but love. When they got married she started reading the bible to him everyday. He seen her and her passion for Christ. Well, over the years he decided to go to church with his wife. He ended up getting saved at a baptist church. He cried out to God and their marriage became stronger. He was in engineer and she a teacher so they weren't on welfare. They were married for 50 years before he passed away this year with cancer. I wasn't raised in a christian home so I know that there are negatives and postives to dating an unbeliever just as there is to marrying a christian.

Diane_Windsor · Feb 8, 2005

Good post love4jesus.

Another thing came to mind. Just because two strong Christians marry each other does not guranteee that one (or both) won't fall away from the faith at some point in their lives. I know of some marriages that the couple involved were strong Christians when they got married, but one is an athiest or a Muslims, etc. now. They might have been equally yoked at the beginning of their marriage, but they are not equally yoked now.

Diane

Luke 1:45 · Feb 8, 2005

Not anymore. After a year of dating off and on, waiting for him to receive Christ, I realized God wanted me to "loose that man and let him go." So I just did. And
I don't know what will happen next, whether he'll accept Christ down the line, and come back for me, or whether God has someone else in mind that He's been waiting all this time to bless me with. But I do know that either way, I'll be alright.

Sketcher · Feb 8, 2005

Luke 1:45 said:
It seems as though the word "pagan" would moreso fit the definition of what a believer really means in 2 Corinthians 6:14 as opposed to someone who currently unsaved, but grew up in the faith, and just hasn't accepted Christ into their life yet.

Any thoughts?

First, I only use the word "pagan" when dealing with pagans. Paganism is a specific religion, like Wicca only worse.

Second, if someone is not saved, he/she does not have the Spirit. Without the Spirit, the potential spouse is deaf to what God's call is, and is not being sanctified either.

hockeysistah12 · Feb 8, 2005

love4jesus said:
how is it more immoral for a woman then it is for a man to commit such an act? Please do not judge unbelievers, or perhaps stereotype them into a certain category. My grandmother was raised a catholic, she married my grandfather who didn't know the Lord as his personal savior. He never left her, or smooth talked her. Their relationship wasn't based on hormones but love. When they got married she started reading the bible to him everyday. He seen her and her passion for Christ. Well, over the years he decided to go to church with his wife. He ended up getting saved at a baptist church. He cried out to God and their marriage became stronger. He was in engineer and she a teacher so they weren't on welfare. They were married for 50 years before he passed away this year with cancer. You must be one of those people who were raised in a christian home since you have a one tract mind. I wasn't raised in a christian home so I know that there are negatives and postives to dating an unbeliever just as there is to marrying a christian.

Unbelievers may be good people but they are without Christ. I'm sorry, but I have to strongly disagree with you and the reason being is that God put these scriptures for a reason, and that is for us believers to obey him.

Conversion of a non-believer by a wife's example can happen in some cases, however, nine times out of ten, the husband and /or wife will not got to church and how can two not walk together in the faith. I'ts is not the issue of having an one track mind, and I'm sorry, but do not date unbelievers let alone marry them. It is not in my good councous nor it does not make any sense at all. {edited by staff}
Ye

nhzname · Feb 8, 2005

Hmmmmm. Lots of stuff going on in here!

Thithy · Feb 8, 2005

My whole thing with why I send depends is because I don't like turning down any guy when he asks me out. I figure everyone deserves a chance. However, it woudl be one date and that's it. I would make it clear that I am a believer and that that is very important to me. If they are an unbeliever, but express a desire to get to know the Lord better it could work out. Instead of the normal type dates I would suggest Bible study dates. But it couldn't turn into anything serious until they were serious about the Lord. I've tried a couple times now dating an unbeliever and for me it didn't work out. So now I'm sticking to Christians.

hockeysistah12 · Feb 8, 2005

Thithy said:
My whole thing with why I send depends is because I don't like turning down any guy when he asks me out. I figure everyone deserves a chance. However, it woudl be one date and that's it. I would make it clear that I am a believer and that that is very important to me. If they are an unbeliever, but express a desire to get to know the Lord better it could work out. Instead of the normal type dates I would suggest Bible study dates. But it couldn't turn into anything serious until they were serious about the Lord. I've tried a couple times now dating an unbeliever and for me it didn't work out. So now I'm sticking to Christians.

No, missionary dating is very dangerous. I dated a non-believer once and I fell into sexual sin and it is not pretty at all. It is good that you stick with believers and not go into that trap of dating someone who will kill your faith in the long run.

Diane_Windsor · Feb 8, 2005

twistedsketch said:
Second, if someone is not saved, he/she does not have the Spirit. Without the Spirit, the potential spouse is deaf to what God's call is, and is not being sanctified either.

Before you were "saved" were you deaf to God's call of repentance?

Diane

Would you date an unbeliever?

If an unbeliever asked you out, what would you say?

yes

no

Depends

let me think about it

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