Women's input on personal issues....please?

Heismyrock2 said:

I feel very vulnerable right now. If a good looking guy showed interest, I actually think I could fall into the same sin that my husband did. I must say I'm beginning to have a lot more sympathy for him.

Can any women pm me with some advice, insight or personal experiences?

Thank you

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You are human and have needs. Your husband sin have nothing to do with yours now..he had commited to you and betrayed a marriage bed, he did adultery. In your case you have a desire but did not acted upon it..if so you would be "fornicating". His sin was between you and him and God. Yours is between you and God. Adultery punishment was death, fornication was not. Still both are sins, sure, but with different consequences and affecting/hurting less people.

I have no sympathy for him.

I have sympathy for you and I and others...

Praying.

We all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. Forgiveness to the depth that the Lord can forgive is ours, and healing comes on its wings. Through the work of God, healing the old wounds can come. There is scripture for separation for a season... maybe not exactly fitting to your situation... but if the Holy Spirit uses it to your comfort and counseling.. Praise Him.

Philemon 1:14-16 (King James Version)

14But without thy mind would I do nothing; that thy benefit should not be as it were of necessity, but willingly.

15For perhaps he therefore departed for a season, that thou shouldest receive him for ever;

Sweetie, I think you are normal in your desires and there is no sin in natural desires and needs, even temptation.

God designed us to need a spouse. You were with your husband for 16 years...16 years of sex life!! Now, it has been ripped away from you. Who you are and your needs have not changed.

If you can touch without lusting, go for it. Trust me. It will relieve your sexual urges. NO WHERE in Scripture does it say that it is a sin. What you do alone with the body God designed for you is not wrong, as long as you are not harming yourself. You don't have to think about a man; just think about your body, what you're doing...

I would steer clear of romance novels because they can lead to lust (at least they do for me).

I do want to warn you about a problem I have had though. When it is over, I tend to be sad and feel more lonely because to me it emphazises that I'm alone. As a relational human, our sexuality is meant for sharing with another, so this reaction is normal as well. Once my little pitty party is over I can relax and appreciate that physical release.

Well I'm not sure but I'll say that i have been seperated for less then a month.. though it seems forever, and I am out of control too. I was looking forward to being alone but now i cling to any man that gives me attention pretty much...

To answer your questions... it could be a spiritual thing, it could be an emotional thing. I think that our subconscience is very powerful and although i thought i'd be ok being alone i have a strong need to feel wanted and emotionally connected right now, and maybe you do too and your desire for sex is a manifestation of your deeper loneliness.

Maybe it's hormones and you haven't had to think about it before. My libido has really increased the older i've gotten, and there are certain times of the month that it is stronger then others based on where i'm at in my menstraul cycle, there are certain times of the month when i just cannot get my mind off of sex! My personal theory is that I am very ripe into my child bearing years and my body knows i'm not getting any younger and is trying to reproduce even though i already have four kids! It was never this strong for me in my teen years or early twenties.

SearcherKris said:

Sweetie, I think you are normal in your desires and there is no sin in natural desires and needs, even temptation.

God designed us to need a spouse. You were with your husband for 16 years...16 years of sex life!! Now, it has been ripped away from you. Who you are and your needs have not changed.

If you can touch without lusting, go for it. Trust me. It will relieve your sexual urges. NO WHERE in Scripture does it say that it is a sin. What you do alone with the body God designed for you is not wrong, as long as you are not harming yourself. You don't have to think about a man; just think about your body, what you're doing...

I would steer clear of romance novels because they can lead to lust (at least they do for me).

I do want to warn you about a problem I have had though. When it is over, I tend to be sad and feel more lonely because to me it emphazises that I'm alone. As a relational human, our sexuality is meant for sharing with another, so this reaction is normal as well. Once my little pitty party is over I can relax and appreciate that physical release.

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I have always gotten more out of my time alone then when with a man!

hisbloodformysins said:

Maybe it's hormones and you haven't had to think about it before. My libido has really increased the older i've gotten, and there are certain times of the month that it is stronger then others based on where i'm at in my menstraul cycle, there are certain times of the month when i just cannot get my mind off of sex! My personal theory is that I am very ripe into my child bearing years and my body knows i'm not getting any younger and is trying to reproduce even though i already have four kids! It was never this strong for me in my teen years or early twenties.

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There could be alot of truth in this. I have experienced the same thing for years.

I prayed that the Lord would take away this desire until I had a man whom I could share it with.. He did.. saved me a lot of the grief which you speak of.