• The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.

    If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.

    If you have spiritual issues related to a mental health and recovery issue, please use the Recovery Related Spiritual Advice forum. This forum is designed to be like Christian Advice, only for recovery type of issues. Recovery being like a family in many ways, allows us to support one another together. May you be blessed today and each day.

    Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist

  • Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

  • CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.

  • We hope the site problems here are now solved, however, if you still have any issues, please start a ticket in Contact Us

  • The rule regarding AI content has been updated. The rule now rules as follows:

    Be sure to credit AI when copying and pasting AI sources. Link to the site of the AI search, just like linking to an article.

Why?

Jump to latest Follow Reply
Sort by date Sort by votes
D

doubter88

Newbie
Oct 6, 2008
2
0
✟22,612.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
In Relationship
So, I've been with the same amazing guy for about a year or so now.. and he's a pretty solid christian, always trying to improve his relationship with God and he's got such a huge heart for people and tries to give everything to them. And lately we've been getting into some pretty major fights and I'm not sure what to do.

To make this quick and simple I will list my past as briefly and understandly as possible:
When I was 6, my brother.
When I was 12, my dad.
When I was 12-15, my best friends' brother.
When I was 16, my brother again.
Both my brother and dad have been arrested and charged and pled guilty. I've forgiven them both and I'm best friends with my daddy now.
As for the best friend's brother, I took him to court (because I was forced to) and we lost because of reasonable doubt or something. I was hit pretty bad by that.. but time has passed and i've forgiven him.

Now I was raised as a christian and went to church every sunday, knew all the stories, the answers, was a part of the choir, youth groups etc.
But now that I'm 20 and dating this great guy I've started to question my faith. I've come up with soo many questions and have proceeded to get incredibly angry about how could God let this happen to someone he supposedly loves? My boyfriend has tried to explain and help but I just get angry and start fighting back. So now i'm wondering.. Am I a christian?

I know God is there and I love him for the most part, but i can't see why i should live my life for him.. it just seems slightly.. unfair? unbalanced? Like how can i love him and trust him if he's going to let me fall AGAIN?..

I'm just wondering how you all were able to get over this without getting the answer to why? and be able to love God and do good things for and with him. I just can't seem to get into being a christian anymore. I'd much rather but my love and trust into something I know wont fail me.

Sorry for the huge lengthy rant but it's my first thread and I'm going crazy trying to find who I am.
 

EbonNelumbo

Hope is a waking dream-Aristotle
Site Supporter
Jun 29, 2004
7,429
780
40
Oregon City, Oregon
Visit site
✟78,816.00
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Libertarian
Hi doubter,

I hope hugs are okay, if yes,

I am so terribly sorry for what you have suffered. I do know a small amount of what you feel as I have been victimized by more than one assailant and one of those as well I was told I was lying on and thus it traumatized me almost as badly as the actual assault.

This is the reason I live for God, despite being molested when I was a child, raped as a teen, beaten by my ex, and a mass amount of other things: if I had to suffer all of that, just to get through to one person who otherwise would have been unreachable, then God knew it all along and had a purpose for letting me endure what I did.

While you cry, He cries with you, sweetie, and so do I.

If you ever want to talk, I am here, and I know what it's like, so please don't hestitate to contact me.

I wish I could take your pain away.
 
Upvote 0
D

doubter88

Newbie
Oct 6, 2008
2
0
✟22,612.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
In Relationship
How on earth are you able to just keep loving God though knowing he LET that happen to you? Like I can't fathom being able to just shrug it off and be like you know what He knew what he was doing and has a plan. Well if that's how it is I really want nothing to do with his plan since he knew he was going to let that happen. I just .. I wanna love but i just can't trust him anymore
 
Upvote 0

bubblefish

used to be cat_goes_meow
Oct 23, 2004
16,976
321
Australia
✟49,317.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
Sweetie, I know exactly how you feel and still have a lot of problems with this myself at times. The thing that gets me through is the thought of free-will. In my beliefs, I don't believe that God wanted something like this to happen, it was a choice that the perp made, and while God cries with you that this happened there wasn't anything He could do to stop it. But He can bring good out of the hurt and pain. For me, it allowed me to meet my now partner and also decide what I want to do with my life and Social Work degree.

It is still hard not to blame Him and feel that He should have done something else to stop this happening but while it was a horrible thing that no-one deserves, good things can come through this and it does get easier.

I don't know if any of this helps but if you ever want to talk please do feel free to PM me any time

Blessings,
Katie
 
Upvote 0

SiyoNqoba

Junior Member
Jul 14, 2007
388
28
New Zealand
✟30,707.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
The problem with people is that they were given free will, and often use it badly. Those people chose for this to happen to you, and I'd be willing to bet that God was screaming "No!! What are you doing to My darling daughter?!" while it was happening.

I struggled with similar feelings for so long. Then God took me, in a series of dreams, through every single time I had been molested, abused or attacked and He showed me exactly what He was doing each time. He wasn't stopping it - He still gives people free will - but He was there, and He was holding my heart, protecting that vital part of me. I used to have this dream that I was lying in my bed, and demons with long, etheral, blue fingers were trying to touch me, but they were always a few inches too far away. During this time where God took me through my past, He brought me back to this recurring nightmare, and showed me why those demons could scare me, but not hurt me. It was because He had laid Himself on top of me.

I can't say whether He'll give you a similar relevation, but I can say quite certainly that He was holding your heart, too. And while such horrible things were happening to you, He was whispering into your heart's ear, so quietly your conscious probably doesn't remember it: "You are pressed, but not crushed. Nothing that happens to you will ever be able to destroy you completely because I am holding your heart in My hands."
 
Reactions: Ariel
Upvote 0
U

UnitynLove

Guest

Its free will. I've done some really dumb things with my free will and how I wish I could take it back, but God does warn us not to do things and yet we still do them any way.
 
Upvote 0

Ariel

Servant
Apr 4, 2004
20,514
20,182
West Texas
✟84,784.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
God showed me that too--Jesus crying as I was being abused. He didn't stop what was happening--He does not violate free will. But He did help me heal and overcome, and get the victory over it anyway.

Jesus tells us that His will is for us to have good lives, John 10:10. Contrast that to what the thief wants in the same verse. It is NEVER God's will for us to be abused, destroyed, trashed. Jesus said that He came so that we could have life, and that abundantly. He means for us to be blessed in every area of our lives, to be healed and whole, including emotionally healed.

We live in a cursed world, and Satan is the ruler of it, John 12:31, 14:30; 16:11. Is is any wonder we suffer? It's a wonder we don't suffer more.

But I know this: we are more than conquerers through Jesus Christ who loves us. This means that in the end WE WIN. And not only do we win, we win victoriously.

Yes, it is possible to heal. And yes, it is possible to offer that same blessing to others. The healing process begins when we determine that we will no longer be victims, and that in Christ we will overcome.
 
Upvote 0
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

P
I walked 1000 km since summer
Replies
0
Views
85
Fitness, Health & Nutrition
Phar
P
P
My progress with toxic parents
Replies
2
Views
168
The Kitchen Sink
timf
T
S
How do I stop feeling burn out sometimes from trying to live the life God commands?
Replies
3
Views
187
Requests for Christian Advice
timf
T
Humble and Submissive
Replies
0
Views
137
Deeper Fellowship
Christsfreeservant
Struggle feeling like a fake christian
Replies
5
Views
301
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Macchiato
Menu
Log in
Register