Why Our Young Generation is Going to Hurt Us Later

Received · Aug 9, 2014

Because this:

Generation Like | FRONTLINE | PBS

Just started, but I already see how screwed up this whole thing is. They just mentioned a kid named Darius and how they're trying to find a profile picture on Facebook that captures the "real Darius" (i.e., the happy one). My immediate response was, "is the sad, or depressed, or anxious, or generally not happy but still present Darius not real?" We're reinforcing a culture of only certain aspects of our personality: the parts that are naturally likeable, which means we're leaving to extinction (and I'm using very basic behavioral language seriously) the other parts of the self that we don't find naturally likeable.

Which means we're teaching our kids to playact rather than be themselves.

And this is just the first five minutes. Time to pick up another vat of Crown Royal.

Someone please watch this with me.

hownow · Aug 9, 2014

I think the biggest challenge facing the present young generation is relationships. I have never had a problem finding someone to be with but I see so many these days made incapable of forming lasting relationships by the programmed memes and expectations of their own culture. This would include or encompass what you mention in your OP -- really Facebook and all online posing/posturing is just one symptom of the bigger problem, and not even the most serious or glaring symptom at that. But it does serve to illustrate the problem.

Deidre32 · Aug 9, 2014

hownow said:
I think the biggest challenge facing the present young generation is relationships. I have never had a problem finding someone to be with but I see so many these days made incapable of forming lasting relationships by the programmed memes and expectations of their own culture. This would include or encompass what you mention in your OP -- really Facebook and all online posing/posturing is just one symptom of the bigger problem, and not even the most serious or glaring symptom at that. But it does serve to illustrate the problem.

Partly true, but often what's at the heart of being able to form long lasting relationships is having positive role models when growing up, where you witnessed good examples of marriage. I had no such experience.

Received · Aug 9, 2014

I think relationships is the big challenge, but I think (in relation to this video especially) the biggest challenge for young people is learning to reign in their natural hormone-driven desire to be the center of attention, rather than let it become full force such as through the social media outlets mentioned in the video.

It's very, very scary when you differentially reinforce certain parts of yourself that other people like. What happens to the remaining parts of yourself that other people don't like? The sad, anxious, ticked off, uncertain, insecure, vulnerable, ad infinitum parts? They get left in the dark, and with adolescents especially they're much more likely to be disowned.

Fast forward twenty years. These "kids" have become full-blown neurotics. Why? Because they quite simply have become much less likely to integrate all of the different aspects of themselves into their identities. They hide themselves from the world, become insecure and anxious about the very idea, all these years later, of anyone seeing the "unliked" parts of themselves.

And that's just bloody madness. Just madness.

Paradoxum · Aug 9, 2014

It isn't available in my region because racism.

(I'm joking).

Paradoxum · Aug 9, 2014

Received said:
It's very, very scary when you differentially reinforce certain parts of yourself that other people like. What happens to the remaining parts of yourself that other people don't like? The sad, anxious, ticked off, uncertain, insecure, vulnerable, ad infinitum parts? They get left in the dark, and with adolescents especially they're much more likely to be disowned.

Fast forward twenty years. These "kids" have become full-blown neurotics. Why? Because they quite simply have become much less likely to integrate all of the different aspects of themselves into their identities. They hide themselves from the world, become insecure and anxious about the very idea, all these years later, of anyone seeing the "unliked" parts of themselves.

And that's just bloody madness. Just madness.

If you are yourself other children laugh at you. Teaching you to be 'normal'. That happened before social media... to me anyway.

Received · Aug 9, 2014

Oh definitely. Social media is just blowing it up a thousand times.

That just can't be good. Actually, it's going to completely destroy our kids in twenty years.

hownow · Aug 10, 2014

Deidre32 said:
Partly true, but often what's at the heart of being able to form long lasting relationships is having positive role models when growing up, where you witnessed good examples of marriage. I had no such experience.

I both agree and disagree with this statement. I think having a good model is definitely a good thing and can increase the chances of forming a good relationship. But first and foremost, the ability to break out of the mold one's models fashioned -- for good or for ill -- is the most important factor. Because no matter how good a model it is only a model and there is no guarantee those same parameters and dynamics will be replicated in oneself or one's partner.

hownow · Aug 10, 2014

Paradoxum said:
If you are yourself other children laugh at you. Teaching you to be 'normal'. That happened before social media... to me anyway.

Take a number, get in line, join the club.

Didn't stop me though.

Paradoxum · Aug 10, 2014

hownow said:
Take a number, get in line, join the club.

Didn't stop me though.

variant · Aug 10, 2014

Received said:
Oh definitely. Social media is just blowing it up a thousand times.

That just can't be good. Actually, it's going to completely destroy our kids in twenty years.

I don't think so, it's really nothing different than has gone on in the past.

People have always had a social aspect to their life where they acted like everyone wanted them to and a private aspect of their lives where they were themselves.

The Internet also offers anonymity where we can express ourselves fully without much, if any repercussion, so, to focus only on social media is a bit biased in one direction IMO.

Received · Aug 10, 2014

variant said:
I don't think so, it's really nothing different than has gone on in the past.

People have always had a social aspect to their life where they acted like everyone wanted them to and a private aspect of their lives where they were themselves.

The Internet also offers anonymity where we can express ourselves fully without much, if any repercussion, so, to focus only on social media is a bit stilted in one direction IMO.

You don't think having 120 people "like" a certain part of your values or personality in half an hour is any different than twenty years ago when you actually had to engage physically with other people, and it was harder then to pick and choose certain behaviors or values you liked to the exclusion of the other person?

(Loaded question, I know.)

variant · Aug 10, 2014

Received said:
You don't think having 120 people "like" a certain part of your values or personality in half an hour is any different than twenty years ago when you actually had to engage physically with other people, and it was harder then to pick and choose certain behaviors or values you liked to the exclusion of the other person?

(Loaded question, I know.)

I think what is happening is a speeding up of the process, not a fundamental change of it.

All we've done here is give attention seeking behavior some instant gratification.

It'll depend on the person involved to find this useful or hollow.

Received · Aug 10, 2014

variant said:
I think what is happening is a speeding up of the process, not a fundamental change of it.

All we've done here is give attention seeking behavior some instant gratification.

Exactly. You can't change the destructive parts of evolution (here adolescents wanting attention), but you can slow it down or speed it up. And I think we've sped it up from 60 to 120 mph in this case. God help us in twenty years when these kids are the cream of the crop for our culture and economy.

variant · Aug 10, 2014

Received said:
Exactly. You can't change the destructive parts of evolution (here adolescents wanting attention), but you can slow it down or speed it up. And I think we've sped it up from 60 to 120 mph in this case. God help us in twenty years when these kids are the cream of the crop for our culture and economy.

The kids these days.

As I added to the previous post, it'll be up to the people themselves to find it useful or hollow, but they are the ones who are going to live in the newer opener age of the Internet, so they are also going to be the ones best equipt to develop ways to deal with it.

Perhaps they use the opportunity to grow up faster, or perhaps they become narcissistic tools, who knows.

Kids putting a premium on shallow interaction before they grow up a bit is not a new or interesting problem if you ask me.

Received · Aug 10, 2014

variant said:
The kids these days.

As I added to the previous post, it'll be up to the people themselves to find it useful or hollow, but they are the ones who are going to live in the newer opener age of the Internet, so they are also going to be the ones best equipt to develop ways to deal with it.

Kids putting a premium on shallow interaction before they grow up a bit is not a new or interesting problem if you ask me.

Exactly, kids lemme tell ya.

But you gotta imagine what fundamental changes this is going to make for this cohort's brains. They'll be much less attentive, much less capacity for long term memory, much more impulsive; and psychologically (probably the most important) they'll be much less secure about their self image, much less likely to be truly autonomous (given that their self esteem is so dependent on what others think); and of course they'll continue to be materialistic and technology saturated, given that this is really what's causing all this madness.

So basically we're screwed. I'll be retired by then. A desolate log cabin in the isolated snow looks good.

variant · Aug 10, 2014

Received said:
Exactly, kids lemme tell ya.

But you gotta imagine what fundamental changes this is going to make for this cohort's brains. They'll be much less attentive, much less capacity for long term memory, much more impulsive; and psychologically (probably the most important) they'll be much less secure about their self image, much less likely to be truly autonomous (given that their self esteem is so dependent on what others think); and of course they'll continue to be materialistic and technology saturated, given that this is really what's causing all this madness.

So basically we're screwed. I'll be retired by then. A desolate log cabin in the isolated snow looks good.

You sound like the people who complained about T.V. when I was a kid.

I like reading philosophical treatises and Dostoevsky for some reason though along with this 800 page history of Prussia I have been slogging through for a month, so I think it's a bit more about the person in the situation.

Why Our Young Generation is Going to Hurt Us Later

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