Why do certain things turn us on?

Some stuff is in our nature (preferences for certain shapes and body styles) and the rest we build a model of through our experience via the media and life.

Most of our sexual desires are just part of normal,God given sexuality. But they can be wrongly provoked, just as any other aspect of being human can be too.

Sometimes were are easily aroused by something. Our sex drive just functions that way. Then we need to fit that into our moral principles and act accordingly.

John
NZ

if its a thought that comes naturally probably it is a natural thought. did you ever think about that ? dont you know that the husband is the man that replaces the father in a girls life ?

You are worried for nothing.

You say you were "with" your husband when this thought occured to you. If this is the case, YOU WERE ALREADY AROUSED. Thus, your arousal came out of the situation, not the thought.

Furthermore, women tend to seek out husbands who have similar traits to their fathers, whether those traits be positive or negative. If there are similarities between your husband and your father, this is probably why your mind made that connection. It does NOT mean that, on any level, you secretly want to have sex with your father.

In your case, some simple psychology will (actually, it sounds like it already has) help you more than theology. You are making associations in your mind that may or may not have any validity. That's all. Don't stress.

The main goal of humanity is to keep the species going. EVERYTHING you do is sexual, you are a sexual being. Sex is constantly in your subconcious.

Welcome to Frueidian thinking.

Galatians 5:16-21
So I advise you to live according to your new life in the Holy Spirit. Than you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves. The old sinful nature loves to do evil, which is just the opposite from what the Holy Spirit wants. And the spirit gives us desires that are opposite from what the sinful nature desires. THESE TWO FORCES ARE CONSTANTLY FIGHTING EACH OTHER, AND YOUR CHOICES ARE NEVER FREE FROM THIS CONFLICT. But when you are directed by the Holy SPirit, you are no longer subject to the law. When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, your lives will produce these evil results: sexual immorality, IMPURE THOUGHTS, eagerness for lustful pleasure, idolatry, participation in demonic activities, hostility, quarreling, jelousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, division, the feeling that everyone is wrong except those in your own little group, envy, drunkeness, wild parties, and other kinds of sin.

Galatians 5:23-25
But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, JOY, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and SELF-CONTROL. Here there is no conflict with the law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have NAILED THE PASSIONS AND DESIRES OF THEIR SINFUL NATURE TO HIS CROSS AND CRUCIFIED THEM THERE. If we are living NOW by the Holy Sprit, let us follow the Holy Spirits leading in every part of our lives.

Listen, the problem your having is your identifying yourself with these thoughts. THERE ISNT A SINGLE PERSON HERE WHO HASNT HAD WHAT THEY BELIEVE TO BE THE MOST DISGUSTING, WRONG, EVIL THOUGHTS MAKING THEM THE EXCEPTION TO THE REST OF HUMANITY.

Stop giving the thoughts (sinful nature) attention by identifying with them for example you had a thought randomly come into your head about your father during intercourse with your husband and you say to yoruself "OH NO this is horrible! whats wrong with me!" that statement is identiying yourself with the sinful nature. Let your mind be like a bouncy ball and these thoughts bounce off them. Dont give them any possitive (giving into them and somehow following through physcially) or negative (hating yourself for it) attention. Much like the rowdy little kid in school, they keep doing it regardless if you reward or punish them... its still your attention.

Really ponder this...if goes two ways.

1. Either someone gives into thoughts and acts on them... the origin of the thoughts can come from only God knows in most cases. In the case of sexuality its basically 3 things. 1. Our baser sexual instincts. 2. Adverse or traumtic sexual exeperience (child molestation for example) and 3. Domestication via media, social changes etc.

2. The thoughts produce the negative affect of self doubt and sometimes a sub-human self-esteem, or something they feel makes them not worthy to have a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Battlefield of the mind...

According to Freudian psychology, a young woman seeks out a man that has qualities of both her mother and father, hence the pretty boys that look dangerous, but aren't.

Taboo sex is linked to anxiety, especially in women. Eliminate the feeling of anxiety and you will eliminate the need to engage in sinful, sexual activity. Chamomile tea, St. John's wort, Valerian root--all of these will make you mellow and better positioned to resist temptation.

Ideally, we should be able to let go of our anxieties and cast them at the feet of our Lord as per Php. 4:4-7. However, we are works in progress, gradually learning to wean ourselves off of worldly cares.

Spidergains, I really like your writeup about losing anxiety and losing temptation, I never knew that before, THANKS!

spidergains said:

Taboo sex is linked to anxiety, especially in women. Eliminate the feeling of anxiety and you will eliminate the need to engage in sinful, sexual activity.

Click to expand...

I agree with this entirely. I've seen in myself the link of sexual perversion to anxiety. I have also learned a lot about myself through sexuality.
I get sexualy turned on by thing that many others wouldn't. I explored this a lot, and found a lot of links to things that happened in my childhood. A lot of sex has to do with control and power. When you regain power over your own life, sexual desire/perversion/obsessive thought lessens.

I think sex is mostly replaying parent-child relationships. Remain open-minded and you can learn a lot about yourself.

I thought it was about how I was "wired"!!!

"Taboo sex is linked to anxiety, especially in women. Eliminate the feeling of anxiety and you will eliminate the need to engage in sinful, sexual activity. Chamomile tea, St. John's wort, Valerian root--all of these will make you mellow and better positioned to resist temptation."

I am going to try the Chamomile Tea!!!!!