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Why are you still single?

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bubblegirl23

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Lbgiam has a point. Maybe it's like that film Sliding Doors. Paltrow's character wasn't READY to meet James yet. Maybe we haven't met the right guy or girl because they have more to learn.

And for those who think it's because they aren't attractive, think again. Most people say I'm gorgeous, and I get more slimeballs than anyone else. Jerks hover when you're attractive. Does that sound conceited? I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, just that IF you are considered pretty it can be a curse. Ironic when I was called ugly through school... I don't really think I'm beautiful, I think I'm average. I have all my bits where they should be, head screwed on right, I'm happy with who I am.

I posted some advice in another forum, but I'll post it here for everyone's benefit.

Learn to like yourself. How? When I was recovering from the emotional trauma, I sat down and wrote all the things positive about me. a> can play music instruments, b> get As in english... Then bulk the list out with positive things others say about you, whether you believe them or not! Read these when you feel the need to be pumped up, and add to them as you achieve different things.

I'll leave you with my favourite motto, where I heard it has escaped me, because I've lived by it for many years.

"If people can't see the magic which is you, that's THEIR problem."

And this includes everyone: fat, skinny, anorexic, pimply, physically challenged.... anyone!

If someone doesn't like you, STIFF! They didn't look hard enough!


S
 
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GeorgiaGuy

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That's a common misconception a lot of women have because they, unfortunately, are so into themselves that they think that the man actually is talking to them because they're "oh so gorgeous". A lot of women need to get over this mindset and stop being so arrogant. I'm sorry, but it is conceited, but I'll argue that Hollywood has given them this mindset to bear. Good, decent guys are the individuals who bear the brunt of this, for women tend to think that if a man happens to come up to them and strikes up a conversation, that he automatically wants a relationship. Even if he does, if the conversation is clean, and if the man is a Christian, what is the big deal? Men are naturally attracted to beautiful women, just like women are attracted to certain characteristics of men.
 
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E

en|gma

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Let's not turn this into a battle of the sexes.

But anyway, there is a reason why most women think that way. Most of the time, guys DO talk to women who they think is potential for a future relationship. And most of them say they're just after friendship.

I've been disappointed many times because I honestly believed that men can go beyond the looks. And that men can actually initiate friendships without having a relationship at the back of their minds.

Anyway, I still have the positive outlook, more like idealism that there are still guys who can be just friends with girls...and can actually see beyond appearances, even if they're pretty.

I'll answer the original question of this thread later...right now, I gotta run
 
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Sascha Fitzpatrick

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The reasons I'm single... hmm

1) I have a close male in my life which sometimes does stunt the ability to get guys at church to talk to me, cos I sit with this other guy and they assume (until told) that he's my date - I love this guy to bits but NOOO...

2) I'm too busy. I go to work, am flat out all day, and at night, all I want to do is crash - doesn't leave too much energy to go out to coffee and have a dance with someone.

3) I was engaged a couple of years ago, and I'm scared I'll find myself with the same type of guy and scared I'll make the same decisions.

4) If you are seen with a guy by someone at church - all those questions start 'is it serious, are u getting married, whats going on' makes it VERY daunting and scary for a guy to go out with you if he knows the pressure being put on him by his peers! Unfortunately, in a church situation, a lot of assumptions are made, without the courtesy to ask and be correctly informed.

5) In a christian society, too much pressure is put on pairing up and getting engaged - and only pairing up to get married and have kids. This puts a lot of pressure on people if they're still starting to click. I started seeing a guy at my church for 2 weeks, and was all ready referred to (by him and everyone else) as his girlfriend (and got invited to 3 family weddings within that time) when i was still working out if he was someone I 'clicked' with. Needless to say - the pressure killed it off.

6) Ultimately, a lot of guys my age are too scared to approach me, and the older ones assume cos of my age I'm still too young - when, if they bothered to actually talk and make decent conversation they would realise (due to my upbringing) I'm most comfortable with those ages 26-29 (all my friends are in this age bracket), and act this age most of the time. Those my age are still seeming to be frivolous and immature, and I cant be bothered with that anymore.

Hmmm - maybe I'm destined for spinsterhood...

Sasch
 
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bubblegirl23

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What are we attracted to?

For me, "ugly men" who have great sense of humours and are honest, such as

Average Joe in Hawaii: David Daskell! He was fun, confident and honest

Steve from Blue's Clues: what can I say? He's fun. He also is nice, I saw him on the Panel once

The character Duckie, in Pretty in Pink

Ash on Restaurant Rules


I'm more interested in easy-going, funny, smart "ugly men", than pretty guys with none of those.

S

Oh forgot.... Tom from Queer Eye. Such a fun guy!
 
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I

I'mHis

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Looks is not the thing that attracts me. Sure, if a good looking guy is there, I will notice him, but that is not what I look for in a mate. I want someone who loves Jesus, no matter what they look like. The heart is what is important, not what the outside looks like. I want someone who can love me for me. I am not the best looking person in the world, so how can I judge someone else on what they look like?
 
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bubblegirl23

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How to talk to girls? Easy! Our favourite subjects are the same as yours: pets, music, movies, books, careers, among others.

Crain, the trick is to start practicing with strangers. Here are some challlenges for you:

Go into a CD store and ask a young lady who her favourite band is.

Ask a lady what dog/cat food she'd recoomend to try on your cat/dog.

Let them talk, listen, and respond. Don't feel obliged to make a connection, wait for them to ask for your number. We girls will do that! Then again, it may be nothing but practice... either way, you take one step FORWARD!
 
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ardeur

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My reasons for being single?
1) I'm only 21.
2) I'm in school and it's my first priority
3) I have a bit of a difficult time opening up to people or even just meeting new people.
4) Partly because of the pressure my parents put on me to stay single for several more years to come.
 
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