The answer for me can some days shift but currently I find myself with this deep dark despair and fear like King David. This man was in constant fear for his life but despite all that looked around him, he chose to put his faith in God. The book of psalms is my go to book when I feel I went too far away from God. When I finally snap back into the reality of it all, the only hope I have is in God.
Psalm 40: 1-3
I waited patiently for the Lord;
And He inclined to me,
And heard my cry.
2 He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps.
3 He has put a new song in my mouth—
Praise to our God;
Many will see it and fear,
And will trust in the Lord.
I too know the feeling of not feeling the Holy Spirit, as if He has gone silent. Those are dark days for me. I wrestle with the idea I did the unpardonable sin but I get dropped in my spirit that if I had done that I wouldn't be so fearful that I lost Him.
That is why King David is who I relate to the most currently. He was a man of war with blood on his hands and despite all that God chose to use him in mighty ways. He became a murderer because he lusted over Uriah's wife, to the point he sent his friend to the front of the battle lines where Uriah was killed. It took Nathan to point out his grievous error.
2 Samuel 12: 1-7
Then the Lord sent Nathan to David. And he came to him, and said to him: “There were two men in one city, one rich and the other poor. 2 The rich man had exceedingly many flocks and herds. 3 But the poor man had nothing, except one little ewe lamb which he had bought and nourished; and it grew up together with him and with his children. It ate of his own food and drank from his own cup and lay in his bosom; and it was like a daughter to him. 4 And a traveler came to the rich man, who refused to take from his own flock and from his own herd to prepare one for the wayfaring man who had come to him; but he took the poor man’s lamb and prepared it for the man who had come to him.”
5 So David’s anger was greatly aroused against the man, and he said to Nathan, “As the Lord lives, the man who has done this [a]shall surely die! 6 And he shall restore fourfold for the lamb, because he did this thing and because he had no pity.”
7 Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man!
Talk about being completely gutted, David was horrified. Of course the Lord punished him for his sin but the Lord said he spared his life. What great tender mercy our God has, it's hard to fathom sometimes just how deep of love our Maker has for us.
I relate to David because I often feel I've crossed one too many lines and have been separated from Him and that's the most desolate feeling I've ever known. Yet somehow He shows up to comfort me just like He can comfort any of you.
God Bless and thank you for reading.
Psalm 40: 1-3
I waited patiently for the Lord;
And He inclined to me,
And heard my cry.
2 He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps.
3 He has put a new song in my mouth—
Praise to our God;
Many will see it and fear,
And will trust in the Lord.
I too know the feeling of not feeling the Holy Spirit, as if He has gone silent. Those are dark days for me. I wrestle with the idea I did the unpardonable sin but I get dropped in my spirit that if I had done that I wouldn't be so fearful that I lost Him.
That is why King David is who I relate to the most currently. He was a man of war with blood on his hands and despite all that God chose to use him in mighty ways. He became a murderer because he lusted over Uriah's wife, to the point he sent his friend to the front of the battle lines where Uriah was killed. It took Nathan to point out his grievous error.
2 Samuel 12: 1-7
Then the Lord sent Nathan to David. And he came to him, and said to him: “There were two men in one city, one rich and the other poor. 2 The rich man had exceedingly many flocks and herds. 3 But the poor man had nothing, except one little ewe lamb which he had bought and nourished; and it grew up together with him and with his children. It ate of his own food and drank from his own cup and lay in his bosom; and it was like a daughter to him. 4 And a traveler came to the rich man, who refused to take from his own flock and from his own herd to prepare one for the wayfaring man who had come to him; but he took the poor man’s lamb and prepared it for the man who had come to him.”
5 So David’s anger was greatly aroused against the man, and he said to Nathan, “As the Lord lives, the man who has done this [a]shall surely die! 6 And he shall restore fourfold for the lamb, because he did this thing and because he had no pity.”
7 Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man!
Talk about being completely gutted, David was horrified. Of course the Lord punished him for his sin but the Lord said he spared his life. What great tender mercy our God has, it's hard to fathom sometimes just how deep of love our Maker has for us.
I relate to David because I often feel I've crossed one too many lines and have been separated from Him and that's the most desolate feeling I've ever known. Yet somehow He shows up to comfort me just like He can comfort any of you.
God Bless and thank you for reading.