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What to when your child is bitten?

ciaomamma

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I don't know if I want to engage with this mother who's in my mothers group.
She's troubled, single with two kids, our group has tried many times to help her, giving her advice and listening to her problems and letting her vent her frustrations.
Few days ago we got together and as the kids were playing together my 2 yr old was standing next to her 2 year old who was sitting down, she wasn't doing anything just standing there looking at something, next thing I know she's screaming in pain I go to pick her up and this kid had bit her! Really hard, she still has teeth marks.
I know kids do things like this, she hasn't but I know it could easily be something she might do, my issue is that this lady, the mother of the kid who bit my child was sitting right there and said NOTHING, another lady who was there told me later that while I was in the bathroom putting cold water on DD's bite that she asked her child if he had bit her (duh we all saw him bite) and when he said yes she asked him why, he shrouded his shoulders and said nothing, neither did she.
Again nothing when I left, no sorry, no concern for my kid, no consequences for hers.... I am overreacting? Maybe our children are not compatible, still I feel I don't want to expose my child to that behavior.
Am I wrong?
 

akmom

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I wouldn't.

As parents, we have to protect our kids from harm while they're too young to do it themselves. I don't think you are obligated to make exceptions for the sake of "including" people. The children are both babies. Someday they will want to socialize and you can help them navigate conflicts, but as babies it really doesn't matter. They don't crave that yet.

None of my kids were biters, so I don't know much about the behavior. I know some kids do it, and it's a point of contention among parents. I would just avoid that child until he is old enough to understand correction, because it's not like getting a toy taken or getting pushed. It's real harm and it's traumatizing to be bitten. I know some parents with biters say they struggle to correct the behavior (though it doesn't sound like this parent has made much attempt), and in that case I would try to be compassionate but firm. He's just not ready to play with others.

The mother could be thoughtless and insensitive, or she could just be shy and nervous about disciplining in public. She should have apologized, but sometimes people are just embarrassed or afraid to approach someone when they're upset.
 
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ALEA40

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I agree with akmom. I would avoid playing with her child for now or stay right next to your child if that child is near. If she were closer, I would suggest that you tell her a constructive way to correct her child, based on information you have read in a magazine or something, "ie. look the child in the eye and say firmly "no biting", "biting hurts", etc. My first son was never a biter. I was horrified when he was bitten at preschool one day. I couldn't help but think that child was a little animal But my second was a biter. It's a phase that will pass. We put him in time out whenever he bit. He even recently gently bit the shoulder of a friend (he's now 3). Some kids have painful teething, they are more sensory seeking, etc. Who knows? Blessings!
 
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Inkachu

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Two years olds bite each other. That's just a fact of life. They're barely out of their baby years, they don't reason and behave like older children. And while moms should stand by and be vigilant, you can't control every single move your child makes. Perhaps the other mom was too embarrassed or didn't know what to say ("Hey, sorry my kid chomped on yours"?).

Let it go. It was one ugly incident between two toddlers. It happens. If it happens again, then address it.
 
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