The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.
If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.
If you have spiritual issues related to a mental health and recovery issue, please use the Recovery Related Spiritual Advice forum. This forum is designed to be like Christian Advice, only for recovery type of issues. Recovery being like a family in many ways, allows us to support one another together. May you be blessed today and each day.
Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
I like it when people identify with me over an issue. It levels the ground a bit.
Saying that i think its probably better not to have rules about how you love. As long as you are sincere, can listen and have genuine compassion its better to be yourself. I know women who have trained as psychotherapists for instance and they come across as cold, clinical and clearly in the job for the wrong reasons.
Ultimately some have more of a gifting in terms of mercy than others but with Love its unlikely you'll get it wrong.
In the early days of my ME--many years ago now--my friend ALWAYS asked me if I was going to be in school the next day, and I always told her I didn't know.
Apart from that, for me it's not been so much what people say, but just the pure frustration of having an invisible and unpredictable illness. The sceptical benefits system. The university that refused to co-operate for two and a half years. Going back a few years, whoever decided to call the social services on my parents.
A friend of mine, who has a blue badge (apparently I'm not disabled enough to qualify) was once asked by a bus driver what was wrong with her.
Today was one of those difficult days when I was out doing (trying to do) errands. Let's just say it wasn't fun. Every now and then I'm faced with certain questions, stares, comments, etc. I came home today and ... let's just say needed an ear to vent to... actually, truthfully, I needed a shoulder to cry on. Although these things are frustrating and can make me grouchy, let's face it, it's really because they're hurtful. I know that people can't truly understand unless they've experienced what we're going through but all the same this can leave one bewildered. Okay, I get it; I'm feeling vulnerable right now and it's been a long day and I'm in terrible pain. e.g. I closed the window when I came home and it felt like my wrist was busting apart. ...and yes it hurts to type but yeah, it also feels great to be getting this off my chest. So here we go. I'll start the thread by saying one thing you should never say to someone who is chronically ill / disabled is:
-"Other people manage why can't you?"
- pick up their cane from their shopping cart and say, "you don't need this".
- Chronic Fatigue isn't really an illness.
- Chronic Fatigue is caused by depression.
- If you eat Goji berries you'll be cured.
- Pray harder; you lack faith.
- Here's a religious formula to follow and you'll be healed.
- You don't look sick.
- What 'really' is wrong with you.
- " 'my' doctor said Chronic Fatigue is..." 'everything it's not'
- somebody else with a disability does this; why can't you?
- roll your eyes when someone takes out their collapsible cane from their bag.
p.s. those of us who suffer know there are many more comments we've dealt with; you're welcome to bare your heart. take care.
This looks like a great list.
CFS/ME is a terrible chronic disease that is real, and I can't stand the deniers. I don't have it and don't know anyone that does (besides you and people I've heard of in documentaries), but evidence is clear that these people aren't faking it. Heck, there's even been little kids born with it that displayed symptoms far before they were even aware of it. I wouldn't take a doctor seriously that denies ME's existence as a real disease.
Best wishes for comfort and better treatments. <3
Assuming governments want to learn about CFS/ME or recognise that it is a genuine disability...
Oh my...almost crying when I read this, you are not alone!!! Recently diagnosed with CFS/Fibro and major depression. Like saying to someobe w a broken leg- "why don't you just get up what's wrong with you?!" Looking forward to great chats here!
Hiya, welcome!
I had a weird experience the other day; I was lining up outside the disabled entrance in a convention and there was a security guard there trying to shoo away all the non-disabled people who were confused (or too lazy to walk to the other entrance). I'd rarely had my condition questioned face-to-face, but I'd heard so many stories I went on the defensive and the poor guy was rather taken aback. I felt a bit guilty afterwards when I remembered I'd got a disabled pass in my bag, which I could have just shown instead, but that's brain fog for you.
(Sigh) So yea. Here's another one to add to the list, although its gonna be long because I can't figure out how to shorten it.
Last night I was on the phone with a good friend of mine. I was upset because I had a migraine and I was whining (yes lol whining) about how my husband and I never get out to do anything. She's like "Just go out to dinner or the movies. It doesn't take THAT much energy to do stuff like that. Schedule a date night."
Well, see, here's the problem. I don't always have that kind of energy in the first place. She thought I was trying to say I didn't have the energy to make it THROUGH the night, but it really is more than that. We've scheduled date nights before and had to cancel because I'm just not up to it. It wouldn't be fun for either of us if I felt bad. Wah.
Sorry, just a rant. Its like, don't tell someone what they SHOULD be able to do. You don't know what its like. How do I KNOW you don't know? Because you wouldn't be saying things like that if you DID.
Okay, rant over.
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