What is virginity?

Inkachu · Jun 16, 2008

To answer the OP:

Virginity is an issue of body, mind, and spirit. You can be a physical virgin (never had vaginal sex) and still be a harlot (male OR female) in your mind, by engaging in lustful thoughts or sexual behaviors that don't include intercourse. By the same token, you can be someone with a sordid past, who had lots of sex of any or all kinds; and if you've repented and been made pure in your MIND and SPIRIT by the blood of Christ, I believe you regain your virginity status in His eyes.

Im_A · Jun 16, 2008

so in essence, your definition states, to understand it:

a couple can lose their virginity just by laying naked together, kiss each other and get arousal, but not do any kind of sexual activity such as oral or sexual intercourse?

if you say no, then that means virginity is lost because of intent and not action. everything would have to fall in place for a water tight definition. so the simplest act for a couple to do to lost their virginity would be get naked, kiss each other, with the intent of arousal but hold back any kind of action?

kingoffools13 · Jun 16, 2008

deliciousBass said:
I recently read an article about prostitution in Afghanistan. Apparently, many Afghani prostitutes only have anal sex in order to save their virginity for marriage. I don't get it.

What do you consider to be virginity? Are these Afghani "women of the night" virgins in your eyes? For those of you who only plan on marrying a virgin, does virginity only mean traditional intercourse?

you're not alone, I don't get that thinking either ... yes the connotation of virginity is that one has not had "traditional intercourse" but there is a line at which connotation no longer covers you ... i think prostitution is one of those lines.

K
O
f

Im_A · Jun 16, 2008

well in your definition, they haven't lost their virginity. your definition has nothing in it about, "serious act" or, "adultery".

Inkachu · Jun 16, 2008

This is a growing trend among American Christians as well. Especially teens and college students; thinking they can do other sexual acts, and they're still remaining 'virgins'. It's sick.

Im_A · Jun 16, 2008

now i'm confused...i thought the intent had to be there? its quite natural to be aroused without the intent to be aroused.

here's your quote
i put the word intention in bold to show why i'm asking the question.
(please know...i'm not trying to harp on you. i just really don't understand your definition at all.)

Thomas1984 · Jun 16, 2008

Fremdin said:
It's all the same. Sexual contact is sexual contact. I really think that oral is something that you do after an established sexual relationship. It isn't a greeting card, like so many people treat it. It's just become such a lax thing. Well I'll do this but I won't do this. What's the difference? Do it or don't. It's all the same. There aren't loopholes

Supplanter said:

Another from me!

In my simple view, virginity is more of a physical contact/intercourse issue, and purity is more about one's thoughts and spirit. It's such a difficult issue though, that I think it's more important to sit down and talk about it with the person you're in a relationship with, so you can find out how your convictions/experiences/definitions of sex, virginity, and purity match up.

Im_A · Jun 16, 2008

well next time put that in with your "water tight" definition. a definition should include every possible aspect. because while i agree with you that it is highly unlikely two people of the opposite sex would be there naked with no intention of sexual arise, i thought a "water tight" definition would include the probably and the improbable.

SonicBOOM · Jun 16, 2008

deliciousBass said:
I recently read an article about prostitution in Afghanistan. Apparently, many Afghani prostitutes only have anal sex in order to save their virginity for marriage. I don't get it.

wow thats pretty darn ignorant. I think it's because of these rule-bending ideas that Jesus said "if you lust, your committing adultery in your heart". I think the mindset of the jews went something like this:

"the law says not to commit adultery, commiting adultery means to take another man's wife and sleep with her, so here's what I'll do, I'll fantasise about all sorts of women, I'll even sleep with unmarried women, I just can't sleep with a married woman, if I do this I'll be ok"

the spirit of the law is much stronger than the pen of it.

What do you consider to be virginity? Are these Afghani "women of the night" virgins in your eyes? For those of you who only plan on marrying a virgin, does virginity only mean traditional intercourse?

virginity means abstaining from ANY KIND of sexaul contact. Of course Jesus DOES have a point in saying that lust can REALLY corupt us alot faster and much more severely than actul fornacation can. I fully beleive you can be a virgin and be a filthy animal because of what lays dormant in your heart.

Plus I think it's important to note that the bible never calls us to be virgins, it only calls us to be sexaully pure.

Inkachu · Jun 16, 2008

Also, remember that in Afghanistan, and other Islamic countries, a girl can be killed if she marries and is discovered not to be a virgin - yes, KILLED. By her own family. So, virginity and "family honor" is literally a matter of life and death for these poor, miserable girls.

latteda · Jun 16, 2008

ListeningEars said:
My own definition of virgin: Anybody who has not intentionally had sex (vaginal, anal, oral, manual... you name it) with another person. In that light, "technical virgins" are definitely not virgins, and rape victims retain their virginity. I think intent is the important factor.

My thoughts exactly.

mina said:
sex is sex. I would prefer to marry a virgin who doesn't try to get around what is sex and what isn't and how much he could get away with, but even if he has a past- if he's repented and is now living in purity and not trying to get around what is sex and what isn't and how much he can get away with that is what matters to me.

mina said:
Thinking about this more, purity is important to me. I would rather marry a guy who was not a virgin but who was trying to live purely now than a guy who's a virgin but obsessed with porn or was really perverted.

Fremdin said:
It's all the same. Sexual contact is sexual contact. I really think that oral is something that you do after an established sexual relationship. It isn't a greeting card, like so many people treat it. It's just become such a lax thing. Well I'll do this but I won't do this. What's the difference? Do it or don't. It's all the same. There aren't loopholes

Good thoughts, all. Not to make it sound like I can't state my own beliefs, but these people all said what I would say. Very good posts, everyone.

deliciousBass said:
Hmm... so if any of you reading this are virgins, would you feel more comfortable having sex with someone on your wedding night if they had oral sex but were technical virgin than with somebody who has had traditional intercourse or is it all the same?

No.

SonicBOOM · Jun 16, 2008

Inkabink said:
Also, remember that in Afghanistan, and other Islamic countries, a girl can be killed if she marries and is discovered not to be a virgin - yes, KILLED. By her own family. So, virginity and "family honor" is literally a matter of life and death for these poor, miserable girls.

thats a good point I almost feel bad for what I said

Thomas1984 · Jun 16, 2008

Inkabink said:
Also, remember that in Afghanistan, and other Islamic countries, a girl can be killed if she marries and is discovered not to be a virgin - yes, KILLED. By her own family. So, virginity and "family honor" is literally a matter of life and death for these poor, miserable girls.

"Honour" killings have taken place in England too, for a number of rediculous reasons.

Tamara224 · Jun 16, 2008

deliciousBass said:
I recently read an article about prostitution in Afghanistan. Apparently, many Afghani prostitutes only have anal sex in order to save their virginity for marriage. I don't get it.

What do you consider to be virginity? Are these Afghani "women of the night" virgins in your eyes? For those of you who only plan on marrying a virgin, does virginity only mean traditional intercourse?

I like to consider synonyms when trying to define for myself what a word or concept means.

In this case, some of the synonyms of "virgin" are: celibate, chaste, first, fresh, initial, intact, maiden, maidenly, modest, new, pristine, pure, unadulterated, unalloyed, uncultivated, undefiled, undisturbed, unexplored, unsullied, untouched, unused.

When we use the word "virgin" in other contexts (e.g. virgin forest) we mean completely untouched - we don't mean touched in one way but not another. Saying that someone is a virgin who has had oral/anal sex but not vaginal is like saying that a forest is virgin because all of the pine trees have been cut down but not any of the hardwoods.

Thomas1984 · Jun 16, 2008

Tamara224 said:
I like to consider synonyms when trying to define for myself what a word or concept means.

In this case, some of the synonyms of "virgin" are: celibate, chaste, first, fresh, initial, intact, maiden, maidenly, modest, new, pristine, pure, unadulterated, unalloyed, uncultivated, undefiled, undisturbed, unexplored, unsullied, untouched, unused.

When we use the word "virgin" in other contexts (e.g. virgin forest) we mean completely untouched - we don't mean touched in one way but not another. Saying that someone is a virgin who has had oral/anal sex but not vaginal is like saying that a forest is virgin because all of the pine trees have been cut down but not any of the hardwoods.

That's a great analogy, it really spells it out.

Inkachu · Jun 16, 2008

Thomas1984 said:
"Honour" killings have taken place in England too, for a number of rediculous reasons.

Was it by English Muslims, or...? do you know? I know that's a bit off topic, but I'm curious.

Inkachu · Jun 16, 2008

Tamara224 said:
I like to consider synonyms when trying to define for myself what a word or concept means.

In this case, some of the synonyms of "virgin" are: celibate, chaste, first, fresh, initial, intact, maiden, maidenly, modest, new, pristine, pure, unadulterated, unalloyed, uncultivated, undefiled, undisturbed, unexplored, unsullied, untouched, unused.

When we use the word "virgin" in other contexts (e.g. virgin forest) we mean completely untouched - we don't mean touched in one way but not another. Saying that someone is a virgin who has had oral/anal sex but not vaginal is like saying that a forest is virgin because all of the pine trees have been cut down but not any of the hardwoods.

AWESOMELY put!!

Thomas1984 · Jun 16, 2008

Inkabink said:
Was it by English Muslims, or...? do you know? I know that's a bit off topic, but I'm curious.

Yeah, families established in England for one or two, or maybe even three generations! There are also stories of Muslim girls falling in love with white English men, and having to run away because their whole family turns against them; in one instance I remember, even the girl's brother was telling her that she'd be killed.

I'm always careful to keep in mind, "Love thy neighbour", but sometimes I think it's rediculous the way the government pander to Islam.

Anyway, that's another thread. Back on-topic.

Inkachu · Jun 16, 2008

Right...thanks for answering

Thomas1984 · Jun 16, 2008

Inkabink said:
Right...thanks for answering

You're welcome. If you want to discuss it further, feel free to PM me.

What is virginity?

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