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Thank you for your comments and for sharing some painful experiences in your life. I appreciate your honesty. I only wish I could follow your advice. Unfortunately I cannot, because several times you write about responding to spiritual experiences, and I have never had a spiritual experience to respond to.
As a Christian you say that you feel God with you every day, and as a non-Christian you said that you once felt the distance from God. And that you ignored God on purpose. I have never felt God at all, neither close to me nor at a distance. I am certainly not ignoring God on purpose, because I would have to perceive God in order to ignore God, and I dont.
You were open to whatever God directed. Again, I have no experience of Gods direction.
Follow the biblical Jesus and the Holy Spirit I would love to follow the Holy Spirit, but cannot until I become aware of the Holy Spirit and where the Spirit is leading me.
However, I agree when you write that what is impossible for man is possible for God. I suspect that there is nothing I can do in my own strength, that could make me become spiritually aware. God could possibly help me to gain spiritual awareness; I have certainly asked God to do this.
Unlike you, I have never experienced Jesus working on my conscience. Similarly I have no experience of the Holy Spirit convicting me of sin and this may be a necessary preliminary to becoming a Christian. This may be why I have never been touched by the idea of needing a saviour, nor of the need for eternal life.
It must be great to work prayerfully together with Jesus. Is it wrong of me to covet your relationship with the Lord?
I understand your warning about being sure to seek God and the narrow way. But to do this I would need spiritual gifts such as the discernment of spirits, wisdom and a word of knowledge. While I have zero awareness of anything spiritual, I am unlikely to gain these spiritual gifts.
Once again, thank you rocklife. I am not in any way trying to dismiss your spiritual awareness, or your relationship with God. I am simply trying to describe how I experience life, with zero spiritual awareness. It is not that I choose to ignore the spiritual things. I am just totally unaware of them, except for what other people tell me.
Zeena said:And, if you truly see yourself as 'poor in spirit' why not go to the ROCK, from which you were hewn? He has LIFE for us;HIS Life!
losthope said:I did try to go to the rock, many years ago and more than once since then. I thought I had found the rock and that I was born again. I came to God with my sins, asked for forgiveness and offered my life to the Lord. But nothing happened; even after two years I still did not know God at all. I failed to obtain the LIFE that you wrote about, that the Bible writes about. I remained spiritually untouched.
Zeena said:And He, is pretty much the ONLY One not deaf, dumb, blind, mute, wretched, poor and miserable, naked and wanting!
losthope said:I appreciate the sentiments here, where you compare your own spiritual awareness with that of Jesus. But it is unfair to compare anyone with Jesus, because if Jesus is the son of God, he is inevitably very different spiritually from ordinary humans. From what you have written in your posts I can assure you that you do not appear to be spiritually deaf, blind, etc. You describe things that have never happened to me.
The revelation that you are insufficient, that you don't quite measure up mayhaps? And the leading to Jesus for His Life!Zeena said:God indeed does many miraclulous things in order to show a man the end from it's beginning.. It seems to me as if the Spirit of the Lord has lead you to this revelation for a purpose. Could it be that God has somthing better for you in the Life of Jesus?!?
losthope said:You say that the Spirit has led me to some revelation… Sorry, but I do not understand. What revelation have I been led to?
God may well have something special for me. But so far, I do not know what it is. It is more than 32 years since I asked God into my life. Even Abraham did not have to wait for that long.
losthope said:In post #40, you wrote about taking thoughts captive to the obedience of Jesus Christ. I am not familiar with Christian jargon, so can you explain to me what do you mean by that?
I take these thoughts captive to the obedience of Jesus Christ my Lord! In Jesus Name!
Zeena said:We need HIS Life, and to do that we must yield to Him to recieve it from Him!
losthope said:I did yield to him. At least, I yielded to the best of my ability, as far as I could in my own strength (and of course my own strength was all that I had, because I had not received any strength from God). But did I receive his LIFE? No.
Zeena said:We walk by faith, not by sight.. Feelings come and go.. We cannot continue to base our identity on a FEELING! For to do so would prove not only to be folly, but detrimental to our walk, be it in the spirit, soul or body!
losthope said:It was rocklife, not I, who wrote about feeling God, and feeling the distance from God.
I personally would never base my identity on a feeling, for the simple reason that I do not have strong feelings (for physiological reasons). So for me there are no feelings to base my identity on.
When I first became a Christian, many Christians told me not to rely on my feelings with regard to my relationship with the Lord. No problem; as I do not have feelings, I cannot rely on them at all.
GreetingThis is the way I sometimes describe myself. I never had any type of spiritual experience, even during the two years that I spent as a born again Christian. Perhaps I am not spiritually dead, but spiritually deaf, spiritually blind and generally spiritually unaware. Is this why I have failed to experience God, why I have no awareness of God’s presence, of the oneness of creation, of God contacting me in any way?
Also, is there anything that I can do about the situation? I know that I am missing out on an important aspect of life. I have tried such things as silence, Bible reading, prayer and meditation, but I remain spiritually untouched.
It is not just Christians who despair of me. For example followers of Buddhism and of new age spirituality, and people who feel at one with creation, have also noted my spiritual emptiness.
Greetings Brotherlost hope,
i will not quote scripture to you, as that seems to be ground you have well covered. nor will i expound on spiritual experiences of others that you may or may not have shared. i will not suggest a path to you to find the true spirituality that you seek yet can't seem to find.
i will simply share this with you. i have been, and periodically still am, where you have been. this lack of a sense of the holy in my life often comes after a long interaction of several months on these forums. ironic? ah well, another story for another time.
what i do know, however, is that need in me to search for the truth about God, to be on the inside of what so often feels like a secret being kept specifically from me, the compulsion to know the Truth and to commune with that Truth in a truly personal way never leaves me. the incessant nature of my need, the refusal of it to give me peace, to let go of the struggle to connect with this God of Truth, that very need is the thing that connects me with Him. that connection is not always satisfying, not always inciteful, but it is...always. i am never relieved of its demand to search, to long for the intimacy that is so often lacking from my spiritual life.
perhaps it is being human that forbids us from forming the very thing we seek. perhaps the natural and supernatural are forever separated, leaving us only to wait for our natural lives to somehow be transcended so we may confront the Creator. can we transcend the natural by prayer, meditation, service, death? perhaps the answer to any of those is yes for a given person, and our door has not been revealed to us yet. but what i do know, and what i sense in you, is that there is really nothing that can stop you from caring about that relationship. it remains a focus, if a frustrating one, of our lives, and that is the presence of the Spirit that we have. He has not given up on us. the least we can do is return the favor and not give up on Him.
Merry Christmas
It is not just Christians who despair of me. For example followers of Buddhism and of new age spirituality, and people who feel at one with creation, have also noted my spiritual emptiness.
Ephesians is my favourite epistle. The first three verses of chapter 2 describe Pauls concept of the effects of being spiritually dead. Though I can assure you that for me it does not imply that I have been disobedient, or that I am following the devil. Indeed, because I have no spiritual awareness, the devil has not touched me any more than God has touched me. On the other hand, if one day I do find some spiritual awareness, that will be the time when I really need peoples prayer, because I will then be open to temptation by the devil.
Most of the remainder of chapter 2 is about the blessings of being made alive in Christ, about becoming a dwelling for the Holy Spirit. Something I have yet to experience
Ephesians 2:2
Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience..
1 John 5:18
We know that whosoever is born of God sinneth not; but he that is begotten of God keepeth himself, and that wicked one toucheth him not.
1 John 5:4
For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.
Without FAITH in God, you will NEVER experience the reality of His Life!1 Corinthians 2:5
That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.
It's a choice..Hebrews 11
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. For by it the elders obtained a good report.
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
By faith Abel offered unto God a more excellent sacrifice than Cain, by which he obtained witness that he was righteous, God testifying of his gifts: and by it he being dead yet speaketh. By faith Enoch was translated that he should not see death; and was not found, because God had translated him: for before his translation he had this testimony, that he pleased God.
But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.
By faith Noah, being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear, prepared an ark to the saving of his house; by the which he condemned the world, and became heir of the righteousness which is by faith. By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went. By faith he sojourned in the land of promise, as in a strange country, dwelling in tabernacles with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise:For he looked for a city which hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God. Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised. Therefore sprang there even of one, and him as good as dead, so many as the stars of the sky in multitude, and as the sand which is by the sea shore innumerable.
These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. For they that say such things declare plainly that they seek a country. And truly, if they had been mindful of that country from whence they came out, they might have had opportunity to have returned. But now they desire a better country, that is, an heavenly: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: for he hath prepared for them a city.
By faith Abraham, when he was tried, offered up Isaac: and he that had received the promises offered up his only begotten son, Of whom it was said, That in Isaac shall thy seed be called: Accounting that God was able to raise him up, even from the dead; from whence also he received him in a figure. By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau concerning things to come. By faith Jacob, when he was a dying, blessed both the sons of Joseph; and worshipped, leaning upon the top of his staff. By faith Joseph, when he died, made mention of the departing of the children of Israel; and gave commandment concerning his bones. By faith Moses, when he was born, was hid three months of his parents, because they saw he was a proper child; and they were not afraid of the king's commandment. By faith Moses, when he was come to years, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter; Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season; Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt: for he had respect unto the recompence of the reward. By faith he forsook Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king: for he endured, as seeing him who is invisible. Through faith he kept the passover, and the sprinkling of blood, lest he that destroyed the firstborn should touch them. By faith they passed through the Red sea as by dry land: which the Egyptians assaying to do were drowned. By faith the walls of Jericho fell down, after they were compassed about seven days. By faith the harlot Rahab perished not with them that believed not, when she had received the spies with peace.
And what shall I more say? for the time would fail me to tell of Gedeon, and of Barak, and of Samson, and of Jephthae; of David also, and Samuel, and of the prophets: Who through faith subdued kingdoms, wrought righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions. Quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight, turned to flight the armies of the aliens. Women received their dead raised to life again: and others were tortured, not accepting deliverance; that they might obtain a better resurrection: And others had trial of cruel mockings and scourgings, yea, moreover of bonds and imprisonment: They were stoned, they were sawn asunder, were tempted, were slain with the sword: they wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins; being destitute, afflicted, tormented; (Of whom the world was not worthythey wandered in deserts, and in mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth. And these all, having obtained a good report through faith, received not the promise: God having provided some better thing for us, that they without us should not be made perfect.
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