What do you this about this situation?

Canada90 · Feb 1, 2022

The situation sounds a bit not ordinary. At least you wouldn't expect this in your church. Let me know what you think about this. So my brother had to meet this girl he knew she wasnt his GF, but in a way he went with her on a few dates and communicated with her often online. So this time he went with her get coffee took some pictures of her and he offered her to come to church event. She is by the way not a christian and is student from muslim country.
So okey he brough her to this church event everything was fine he was sitting arond the table with 7 more people. They were eating later played board games. She went to take more food and this guy comes in to the church one of the members. He is more masculine, tall. So he started talking with her will my brother was siting near the table. Seemed a bit like flirting he touched her shoulder . Or atleast it seemed like flirting. So later she went somewhere with this new guy and dissapeared for half and hour with out telling my brother anything. So later my brother was standing alone. She came back and she was standing and looking around where is this new guy and she told to my brother oh i am waiting for this guy he is my friends friend abd we are planning to leave together. All the sudden it seemed like she is not interested about my brother but thinking where is this guy. Later she left with him and when ny brother came back home she wrote him like thank you it was nice event etc. What do you think about this? For me it seem that she saw a better guy and left my brother in a fools possition.

bèlla · Feb 1, 2022

She isn’t his girlfriend and has no obligation to him romantically. They went out a few times. But there’s no promise or commitment. If the situation was reversed and he met someone he was attracted to the same would hold true. Whether she knew the guy is questionable.

timf · Feb 1, 2022

It sounds like your brother dodged a bullet. If she is rude to him about going off with someone else, he should consider finding someone who would be more interested in him.

Canada90 · Feb 1, 2022

bèlla said:
She isn’t his girlfriend and has no obligation to him romantically. They went out a few times. But there’s no promise or commitment. If the situation was reversed and he met someone he was attracted to the same would hold true. Whether she knew the guy is questionable.

Canada90 · Feb 1, 2022

Yes, true theybarent dating. But anyways you don't expect that you bring your date to a church and sudenlly someone steals your date and leaves with other guy. Even if she is not his girlfriend that just not nice thing to do.

mama2one · Feb 1, 2022

your brother asked her out, picked her up & brought her to the church event?
I'm guessing she didn't consider it an actual date?

dates to me are what my husband did- took me to plays, dancing, dinner theatre, nice restaurants, etc
we did go to church together but I wouldn't have considered it a date

pdudgeon · Feb 1, 2022

Agreed, he dodged a bullet, and it was good that it happened this way, and at this time.
Why was it good?
Because it happened at Church!
God was in this all the way:
protecting him,
showing him the girl's true character,
And doing so in such a way that there would be no doubt in his heart that she wasn't the one for him.
This was God's gracious protection over him, guarding his heart, opening his eyes, and assuring him that the protection would be there when necessary.
And there are two more things:
1. He learned the importance of submitting his will to God.
2. And of trusting that when the time is right, God will bring HIS choice to this man's attention. AMEN.

Albion · Feb 1, 2022

Canada90 said:
Yes, true theybarent dating. But anyways you don't expect that you bring your date to a church and sudenlly someone steals your date and leaves with other guy. Even if she is not his girlfriend that just not nice thing to do.

If she were an American, I'd think differently about it, but it seems that she didn't consider her times with your brother to be dates. More like hanging out with a new, casual friend.

And she of course attached no particular importance to the church visit, She was there because she was asked and might even have seen it as doing HIM a favor. Also, there is the possibility that there was something about the other guy that we don't know. Had they met previously, etc.?

I'm sure this turn of events was upsetting and confusing, but he'll just have to let it go. That doesn't mean he should never talk to that girl again, however.

Petros2015 · Feb 1, 2022

Canada90 said:
Or atleast it seemed like flirting. So later she went somewhere with this new guy and dissapeared for half and hour with out telling my brother anything.

Sounds like they were having fellaship.

Canada90 · Feb 1, 2022

mama2one said:
your brother asked her out, picked her up & brought her to the church event?
I'm guessing she didn't consider it an actual date?

dates to me are what my husband did- took me to plays, dancing, dinner theatre, nice restaurants, etc
we did go to church together but I wouldn't have considered it a date

He took her before going to church for coffee and they walked around the city and later they came with cab to church event.

tturt · Feb 1, 2022

pdudgeon I would put 2 winner endorsements if possible!

It's like kids who "break up" immediately after getting their Valentine's gifts.

Canada90 · Feb 1, 2022

Albion said:
If she were an American, I'd think differently about it, but it seems that she didn't consider her times with your brother to be dates. More like hanging out with a new, casual friend.

And she of course attached no particular importance to the church visit, She was there because she was asked and might even have seen it as doing HIM a favor. Also, there is the possibility that there was something about the other guy that we don't know. Had they met previously, etc.?

I'm sure this turn of events was upsetting and confusing, but he'll just have to let it go. That doesn't mean he should never talk to that girl again, however.

Ghis guy in church i knew i think he is a bit flirtirious with girls and used to see him bring new girls often. I cant say neither bad or good about him because i havent spoke with him outside of the church. When he came to church and came to say hi to all this girl didnt saif to my brother oh this is my friends friend i know him. Only when she was looking for this guy and than just said oh he is my friends friend, but than why she didnt said nothing before ? I just think she lied to my brother she saw that this guy is more masculine,taller etc and decided to leave with him

Canada90 · Feb 1, 2022

tturt said:
pdudgeon I would put 2 winner endorsements if possible!

It's like kids who "break up" immediately after getting their Valentine's gifts.

What do you mean?

tturt · Feb 1, 2022

I just look at the girl's behavior. But that's just me,

pdudgeon is a poster who gave a great response - imo.

Maria Billingsley · Feb 1, 2022

Canada90 said:
The situation sounds a bit not ordinary. At least you wouldn't expect this in your church. Let me know what you think about this. So my brother had to meet this girl he knew she wasnt his GF, but in a way he went with her on a few dates and communicated with her often online. So this time he went with her get coffee took some pictures of her and he offered her to come to church event. She is by the way not a christian and is student from muslim country.
So okey he brough her to this church event everything was fine he was sitting arond the table with 7 more people. They were eating later played board games. She went to take more food and this guy comes in to the church one of the members. He is more masculine, tall. So he started talking with her will my brother was siting near the table. Seemed a bit like flirting he touched her shoulder . Or atleast it seemed like flirting. So later she went somewhere with this new guy and dissapeared for half and hour with out telling my brother anything. So later my brother was standing alone. She came back and she was standing and looking around where is this new guy and she told to my brother oh i am waiting for this guy he is my friends friend abd we are planning to leave together. All the sudden it seemed like she is not interested about my brother but thinking where is this guy. Later she left with him and when ny brother came back home she wrote him like thank you it was nice event etc. What do you think about this? For me it seem that she saw a better guy and left my brother in a fools possition.

Welcome to CF. Your brother is not the fool , she is.
Blessings

Tolworth John · Feb 1, 2022

Canada90 said:
What do you think about this?

More a case of how does he think/feel about it?
You said that they went on a few dates! That in my opion would make them boy friend and girl friend.

There are two things for him to think about.

If he is taking a girl out on a few dates, to establish whether they are dating, are boy/girl friends.
2, to be very careful when dating girls from muslim countries. Any cross cultral relationship is fall of opertunities for missunderstandings.

aiki · Feb 1, 2022

Canada90 said:
The situation sounds a bit not ordinary. At least you wouldn't expect this in your church. Let me know what you think about this. So my brother had to meet this girl he knew she wasnt his GF, but in a way he went with her on a few dates and communicated with her often online. So this time he went with her get coffee took some pictures of her and he offered her to come to church event. She is by the way not a christian and is student from muslim country.
So okey he brough her to this church event everything was fine he was sitting arond the table with 7 more people. They were eating later played board games. She went to take more food and this guy comes in to the church one of the members. He is more masculine, tall. So he started talking with her will my brother was siting near the table. Seemed a bit like flirting he touched her shoulder . Or atleast it seemed like flirting. So later she went somewhere with this new guy and dissapeared for half and hour with out telling my brother anything. So later my brother was standing alone. She came back and she was standing and looking around where is this new guy and she told to my brother oh i am waiting for this guy he is my friends friend abd we are planning to leave together. All the sudden it seemed like she is not interested about my brother but thinking where is this guy. Later she left with him and when ny brother came back home she wrote him like thank you it was nice event etc. What do you think about this? For me it seem that she saw a better guy and left my brother in a fools possition.

Yup.

bèlla · Feb 1, 2022

Canada90 said:
Yes, true theybarent dating. But anyways you don't expect that you bring your date to a church and sudenlly someone steals your date and leaves with other guy. Even if she is not his girlfriend that just not nice thing to do.

Was it a date or outing? And she wasn’t stolen. If seeing another elicited that response she wasn’t invested.

And she’s Muslim. If he’s a believer he shouldn’t be considering her. What you describe is missionary dating. They hope to win the person to God through a carnal relationship.

A recipe for disaster in most cases.

Albion · Feb 1, 2022

"Canada90,"

I'm not sure, after all of this, what it is that you want us to say.

You seem to be looking for us to say she was ignorant, faithless, had no consideration, or something else in that vein. And if we were to do so, how would that be of assistance to anyone?

Mink61 · Feb 1, 2022

Canada90 said:
The situation sounds a bit not ordinary. At least you wouldn't expect this in your church. Let me know what you think about this. So my brother had to meet this girl he knew she wasnt his GF, but in a way he went with her on a few dates and communicated with her often online. So this time he went with her get coffee took some pictures of her and he offered her to come to church event. She is by the way not a christian and is student from muslim country.

How does one go on a few "dates" with someone "in a way"? Either their outings were understood by both your brother and this woman to be "dates" or they weren't.

So okey he brough her to this church event everything was fine he was sitting arond the table with 7 more people. They were eating later played board games. She went to take more food and this guy comes in to the church one of the members. He is more masculine, tall. So he started talking with her will my brother was siting near the table. Seemed a bit like flirting he touched her shoulder . Or atleast it seemed like flirting. So later she went somewhere with this new guy and dissapeared for half and hour with out telling my brother anything.

That was a bit rude. If anything, either the woman should have made introductions, or the new guy should have introduced himself to your brother. If it was understood (by your brother and this woman) that they were on a "date", this woman should have declined to disappear for a half hour, explaining to the new guy that she's "on a date" with your brother.

But even if they weren't "on a date", she shouldn't have disappeared with the new guy without saying something to your brother.

So later my brother was standing alone. She came back and she was standing and looking around where is this new guy and she told to my brother oh i am waiting for this guy he is my friends friend abd we are planning to leave together.

I have a social 'rule' that I keep. That is, if I go someplace with someone--even if we're just friends--I leave with the same person I came with.

All the sudden it seemed like she is not interested about my brother but thinking where is this guy. Later she left with him and when ny brother came back home she wrote him like thank you it was nice event etc. What do you think about this? For me it seem that she saw a better guy and left my brother in a fools possition.

I wouldn't come to that conclusion. The new guy could have simply been what she said: A 'friend's friend', and nothing more.

Canada90 said:
Yes, true theybarent dating. But anyways you don't expect that you bring your date to a church and sudenlly someone steals your date and leaves with other guy. Even if she is not his girlfriend that just not nice thing to do.

If your brother and this woman aren't "dating" or even "on a date", then the new guy didn't "steal" your brother's date.

If anything, this woman exhibited some poor manners.

What do you this about this situation?

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