What did you do with the photos?

hugnluvable · Mar 23, 2008

Hi there, very very odd question - but i'm just coming to terms with the whole fact that my husband is wanting a divorce (he isnt a Christian and I'm letting him! Although its taken me months to agree to it all!).... I'm moving out soon - but I have one question - what did you do with the wedding photos and the photos of you together? To me our wedding day was still the happiest day of my life but now even thinking about remembering it all is just too much to bear.

Any suggestions?

SearcherKris · Mar 23, 2008

Mine are packed away in a box. They are not destroyed or given away, but I don't have to look at them either.

I'm thinking I'm going to keep for the my kids, incase they want them some day. I'm also thinking of offering my husband a copy of them if he wants them.

RedheadedPrincess · Mar 24, 2008

I am much like you in that it hurts too much to look at someone I love so much that caused so much hurt. I have one photo that I love up on the wall. however all the rest of the photos and keepsakes are packed away or will be when I can do it. But I won't disgard stuff for many years because he is part of my history and I don't want to do it out of emotions plus I don't know what the future holds.

HuntingMan · Mar 24, 2008

Pitched them.
Both times.
I have enough bad memories in my head without drudging them up again and again by having pictures around.
When I run into my ex's now at least I can pretend the past didnt happen and just treat them like anyone else.
If I keep bringing up the past by seeing those photos its like a wound that just doesnt heal.

Of course, this is my opinion and applicable to me alone.
someone else may feel entirely different

SearcherKris · Mar 24, 2008

As a side note...

I threw away ALL of my lingerie, and clothes that I wore on certain occaissions if they held the memory of the event, such as an outfit I bought to wear on a date for our anniversary. I also threw away all of our...ahem...bedroom toys.

Yeah, I figure if there is ever another husband in my future, I wouldn't want to umm...mix the marriage beds, even if only on an emotional level. I'm just sayin' it's something to consider.

DZoolander · Mar 24, 2008

Threw 'em away.

Tink04 · Mar 24, 2008

I put them all away in a box in the basement.
I have one family picture still up as well as one of him and our youngest daughter, but they have been moved to a place where I don't have to look at them often. The kids really their dad and I don't think it's wright to get rid of everything.

Really what made the difference in the amount of hurt was changing our room around to make it mine.
I bought a new picture for the wall and a new bedspread. Pushed the bed against the wall and gave his dresser to my son.

Our room was such a place of rejection and hurt that I needed to make it my own.

CrystalBrooke · Mar 25, 2008

I'm going to keep them, but as others have said, I'm just going to put them away and not look at them. I don't mind to look at them because it doesn't hurt me or make me sad or anything..I'd just like to forget that I was ever married.

RedheadedPrincess · Mar 25, 2008

Searcher I can definitely see what you mean about the intimate things. I have not had the heart to deal with that, and it has just been in the last couple weeks that I have been able to come to full acceptance of everything.

Right now everytime I see anything from our past it makes me want to burst into tears. I know eventually I will be able to deal with these things but there are more important things right now.

jenley · Mar 26, 2008

I have a ton of photos from the many years together. I have always taken lots of pictures. I just kept them boxed up and did not throw anything away in anger. My son will get them some day. I did go through them when I moved two times ago and pulled out the ones I knew meant something to him and gave them to him.

This was years after the divorce so most of the hurt was gone and it was easier than it would have been right away.

On a side note... our huge wedding album is no where to be found. I wonder where it went?

AirForceTeacher · Mar 31, 2008

hugnluvable said:
Hi there, very very odd question - but i'm just coming to terms with the whole fact that my husband is wanting a divorce (he isnt a Christian and I'm letting him! Although its taken me months to agree to it all!).... I'm moving out soon - but I have one question - what did you do with the wedding photos and the photos of you together? To me our wedding day was still the happiest day of my life but now even thinking about remembering it all is just too much to bear.

Any suggestions?

Still have them - much of my photo collection is on the cmputer, and although I've moved them to a separate folder, I occasionally see one and there's a brief gut-check. I havn't thrown them out yet though. Don't think I will, but I really can't see when I'll want to look at them again.

ido · Apr 2, 2008

I've separated the "family" pictures out and put them away in a box for my boys when they get older. Even though we are not a family unit anymore, it is still their family. I have some pictures of the boys with their dad in their rooms - and one frame that has all of us in all the slots (spinning cube frame) in the playroom. The professional portraits of us are packed away - in case the kids ever want them. The wedding album is put away - for the kids. If they dont' want it when they're grown, then it will go to the trash.

I did throw away all the love letters. They sounded like such a joke when I re-read them.

AirForceTeacher · Apr 9, 2008

flnativegrl said:
I did throw away all the love letters. They sounded like such a joke when I re-read them.

That's actually kind of sad. I kept the love letters, but don't read them, because I believe they were meant when they were written. Now I'm wondering if she threw out the ones I wrote her.

AMOG · Apr 19, 2008

I have a box of stuff in a safe stoage place for my kids. The pix and the weding video are among the items in there.

Flibbertigibbet · Apr 27, 2008

I went through our album and pulled out every picture that didn't include either me or my children, and gave them to him. We have no children together, and I didn't want pictures of his family either.

I did keep pictures of the two of us together, as I looked unusually spiffy that day (great photographer).

Side note: I edited his favorite photo of the two of us (he liked the way he looked in that one) to remove him from the picture, and now use it for my online profile stuff. I get a little spiteful thrill everytime I see it (not sure why, but I'm weird that way).

hope4today · Apr 28, 2008

Like others have said I have kept our wedding album and photos of the two of us but put them away for safe keeping. I don't actually look at them my self anymore.

We had many family shots over the years that hadn't been put into albums yet and only now, 3 years later, am I starting to go through them and create albums for them. I'm doing scrapbooking so I am journalling with them. I am finding that I am able to journal the albums as it was then, without the shadow of what has happened since. I couldn't have done that a year ago, it would have been too painful. So in my experience, there comes a time when those photos don't hurt so much and I want to retain them, as they are the history of my kids lives and also a significant part of my own history.

ido · Apr 28, 2008

AirForceTeacher said:
That's actually kind of sad. I kept the love letters, but don't read them, because I believe they were meant when they were written. Now I'm wondering if she threw out the ones I wrote her.

Well, they're as good as thrown away. My best friend wouldn't let me actually throw them away, so she made me bundle them up and mail them to her and she's keeping them for now.

I would agree with what you said about them being meaningful at the time, except that my ex admitted to me once that he did "romantic" stuff like writing me love letters so he could tell other people that he did it and make himself look good in their eyes. It really wiped ALL the romance right out of those letters.

Bridgit · Apr 29, 2008

The pictures are packed away in a box. I've seen them recently while I was looking for other pictures. It didn't affect me the least. It is like I'm looking at a stranger standing beside me. Some time before I filed for divorce, I already had no more feelings for my ex. I did dump his love letters and don't regret it.

dbhost · Aug 6, 2008

hugnluvable said:
Hi there, very very odd question - but i'm just coming to terms with the whole fact that my husband is wanting a divorce (he isnt a Christian and I'm letting him! Although its taken me months to agree to it all!).... I'm moving out soon - but I have one question - what did you do with the wedding photos and the photos of you together? To me our wedding day was still the happiest day of my life but now even thinking about remembering it all is just too much to bear.

Any suggestions?

I stuffed mine through the shredder, or cooked them on the BBQ grill. I don't want ANY trace left of that relationship.

The photos, the cards addressed to both, letters etc... have all been burned or shredded. The car I owned was sold for a new one, the furnishings, the dishes, the cookware, nearly everything was replaced.

I am busting my tail feathers working on remodeling my house and praying the real estate market comes back up so I can get out of this house, and into one without a history of her being here.

God has blessed me to be able to do this. I have skills in construction and woodworking, not to mention a good paying job and plenty of friends willing to help out. I am trying where I can to return the favor as it were...

lilleg09 · Aug 7, 2008

The only pics I have with him are about four, two of the entire wedding party and two folded where you can't see his face. Every pic he was on without me went through the shredder. He shredded all the cards and letters when we separated in May. Might as well bury what's dead.

What did you do with the photos?

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