Vent

Taylor, don't be sorry for sharing. you got alot on your mind. you are wisely caring for yourself with therephy and you have a sweethearted grandpa. sorry your dad hurts you with words. you sound like a smart young lady. God bless your heart. love dee

Don't appologize for pouring your heart out. It's what we're here for. ... besides, I just did it too.

... anyway, Your Grandpa is lucky to have you to care for him. Your dad needs to learn to understand that your heart is yours and can't be controled by bitter words. You might try talking to him and just flat out telling him that he's hurting you. Help him understand what he's doing. ... It might just be that he's too dense to see it for himself.

I'll toss up a prayer or two for you all. You do the same, ok?

-jd

Taylor,
This is definitely a great place to vent. We all need to sometimes! While I'm glad you're able to "cope," I hope you're able to find some joy in your life (and soon!). It's good that you're hearing positive things about your mom from your grandpa and that he is such an important person in your life. It sounds like your dad is a negative force, but he's your dad. However, you do not have to let that negativity affect you. If he is critical or negative, let those words go in one ear and out the other quickly so they don't get to your heart!!! The world is full of negative people (I know--I used to be one!) but it is your choice to let them affect you. Talking to him might help, but if it doesn't, just know that your reaction is up to you.

As far as wondering how Christ can use you, I have no doubt that you have special talents and abilities. For starters, you're already taking care of your grandpa. Don't you think the Lord is happy about that? I do! We live in an impatient world, and sometimes we need to wait (as tough as that is) for God to reveal his plan for us. (I'm trying to be patient here!). I have figured out that the Lord wants me to be happy and to spread that happiness to others, so that's what I've been trying to do. I've read lots of devotional books, Christian self-help books, etc. They've been really uplifting.

I wish you all the best in your journey, and I'll say a prayer for you!

Taylor43 said:

It's not like me to pour my heart out like this to a public forum. But since joining last feb i see such love and care.

This is a trigger

I had a abusive childhood til the age of 15. My mom died it will be Eight years next Tuesday. She was the main abuser. I have forgiven her. This year for the first i am missing her so much. I live with my Grandpa her Dad and he has shared allot of stories of her that are good. I am in therapy on meds I am not focused on the past. However I cant see how Christ can use me. My Dad has got remmaried things are not right but we still talk, it is hard. He claims to be a Athiest and times he says words that hurt. I am trying to believe God's Esteem is better. What is a problem i am living with Grandpa we get along very well. Dad sees me looking after him too much. I am only 23. Mom i had to take care of her from 8 til she went to Heaven. I love my Grandpa he deserves care he is the one i can trust and he has helped me. Because of my Dad I will not abandon him but i am going to pray for how things are going to play.

I just feel so lost and hopeless i have not been happy since Febuary and i am on meds and in counseling. I do cope but i find it a drag. Sorry for pooring my heart out to you. Thanks for reading if you got this far
Love
Taylor

Click to expand...

Dearest Taylor ,

My heart aches for you!

Our Heavenly Father CAN and WILL use you my Dear! He's used me, and believe me...I have been a mess most of my life

I'm glad you have your Grandpa (my Grandpa died a long time ago and I still miss him dearly!!!)

I'm SO glad you "poured your heart out" !!! Please continue to post and let yourself be blessed and encouraged by these dear members here on CF.

With s & s,
Wendy

I just want to add that you sound like a kind-hearted sweet person and that is something that God is proud of in you. We all need to vent.

Taylor43 said:

Thaqnkyou for all your replies. I am feeling a bit better today
Love
Taylor

Click to expand...

Glad to hear this

Taylor43 said:

Thankyou for the encouragement it helps to know i am not alone.
Love
Taylor

Click to expand...

Taylor,

That's one of the greatest things about this forum. It proves, cause sometimes when someone tells you "you're not alone" it doesn't really "sink" in, here you SEE you are not alone. People are here to listen, encourage and pray for you! These people here really are s !!! (oops...that's more than one thing lol) and with that I must say, many a time this forum has brought me laughter!

Wendy