Using condoms if you're married?

Lokisdottir · Jan 25, 2005

stray bullet said:
I don't think anyone here has argued you shouldn't have sex unless your goal is to make babies and you are physiologically capable of it. That's an extremely rare viewpoint I haven't heard anyone on CF ever make.

What about somebody who intends never to have children, despite being physically capable?

stray bullet · Jan 25, 2005

Chajara said:
You mean to say that if I got married, but didn't want to have children until I was out of college and had money saved for a bigger house, bigger car, etc that my husband and I shouldn't have sex until then, not even on our wedding night?

Wedding nights, nor materialistic desires wouldn't permit you to desecrate God's gift, no.

Plenty of people wait until they are out of college to get married. I wouldn't unless I had a stable job and a house.

Sex is a gift that is to be handled responsibly, not a right to be expressed with little regard to its consequences. I think a good deal of the problems in the world wouldn't exist if people did.

Antoninus Verus · Jan 25, 2005

ninja said:
Agreed, but the condom is more likely to stop you from getting STDs

Not enough for me to use them. Vasiline (commonly used as lubricant) can slowly disolve latex based condoms and make them much more prone to breakage. I actually have a friend who used condoms religiously and one time **SNAP** "Oh DAMN!" Her daughter is an absolutely beautiful little girl but that could have been avoided.

stray bullet · Jan 25, 2005

Lokisdottir said:
What about somebody who intends never to have children, despite being physically capable?

You mean, such as a person who gets married, wants to have sex and never have children? I'd have just as much concern for mental health of such a person as I would someone who didn't want to ever go out in the Sun again, or ever talk to people.

Producing and raising children is a natural desire and need in humans as well as animals. Salmon don't swim hundreds of miles upstream for the heck of it, they do it because their is a psychological drive to do so.

For a person to say they have no such desire shows the have something psychologically interfering with their natural instincts and underlying biological desires.
They don't need birth control, they need a psychologist.

-For clarification, I am not suggesting everyone right now should feel a desire to have kids. However, for a person to want to be married and declare they never want to have kids is troubling.

desert_island_1 · Jan 25, 2005

stray bullet said:
Producing and raising children is a natural desire and need in humans as well as animals. Salmon don't swim hundreds of miles upstream for the heck of it, they do it because their is a psychological drive to do so.

For a person to say they have no such desire shows the have something psychologically interfering with their natural instincts and underlying biological desires.
They don't need birth control, they need a psychologist.

-For clarification, I am not suggesting everyone right now should feel a desire to have kids. However, for a person to want to be married and declare they never want to have kids is troubling.

Some people just do not feel they are people who are able to raise children so they choose not to have any. Is that all that wrong? Also, I personally do not think there would be as many kids that have ended up living in orphanages / foster care if their parents truly wanted to have them. Many people choose to bring a child into the world even if they do not want one and give it up for adoption. How can you say that a person who is married and does not want to have kids is troubling?

stray bullet · Jan 25, 2005

desert_island_1 said:
Some people just do not feel they are people who are able to raise children so they choose not to have any. Is that all that wrong? Also, I personally do not think there would be as many kids that have ended up living in orphanages / foster care if their parents truly wanted to have them.

And why do you think the kids were made in the first place, because the parents had a healthy and responsible attitude about sex. What do you think condoms promote?

Many people choose to bring a child into the world even if they do not want one and give it up for adoption. How can you say that a person who is married and does not want to have kids is troubling?

Because it is like saying you never want to be out in the Sun, or eat food. People have biological, instintual desires. When people say they don't have them (when they should), it suggests a psychological abnormality.

stray bullet · Jan 25, 2005

I think it is also pretty troubling that many species of animals are more responsible than a lot of people, first building their structure, waiting for the proper season (for food) then having sex with their partner.

Annabel Lee · Jan 25, 2005

Jeez Straybullet, lighten up.

I had my three children and I intend to not have anymore.
...and I still have sex.

ninja · Jan 25, 2005

Antoninus Verus said:
Not enough for me to use them. Vasiline (commonly used as lubricant) can slowly disolve latex based condoms and make them much more prone to breakage. I actually have a friend who used condoms religiously and one time **SNAP** "Oh DAMN!" Her daughter is an absolutely beautiful little girl but that could have been avoided.

Some protect is against STDs is still better than none. I agree that condoms break but it doesn't happen every time.

For best defense (if you are going to have premarital sex) use both the pill and condoms!!

Lokisdottir · Jan 25, 2005

stray bullet said:
And why do you think the kids were made in the first place, because the parents had a healthy and responsible attitude about sex. What do you think condoms promote?

Suppose the parents themselves used condoms for years, until they decided they were ready to have children. Just because the parents have reproduced doesn't mean they never used birth control.

Because it is like saying you never want to be out in the Sun, or eat food. People have biological, instintual desires. When people say they don't have them (when they should), it suggests a psychological abnormality.

Uh... gee, thanks. I must really be screwed up, because I have no maternal instinct. Never have. When other little girls were playing with baby dolls, I was out in the yard, playing with toy trucks, gettin' down with my bad tomboy self.

Even if that is a psychological issue, why on earth would I want to get help or counseling for it? Kids are expensive, stressful, and they tend to kill the romantic life of the people who have them. I don't want any, and I'm glad I don't have any of those sneaky little hormones to convince me otherwise.

Hooch · Jan 25, 2005

http://oldforum.catholic.org/discussion/messages/41/814475.html?1096399052

From the horse's mouth....

Chajara · Jan 25, 2005

Well, I have maternal instinct up the wazoo, if I see anything smaller and in need of mommying, I mommy it half to death. Kittens, bugs, stuffed animals, anything. However, that doesn't mean I'm going to have children before I'm ready. I'm still going to have sex with my significant other, however, because I honestly believe there's more to it than just making babies. They call it lovemaking for a reason. I think that saying "Sex is for babymaking only, so don't do it otherwise" cheapens it and is insulting to those who make it a part of a loving, compassionate, happy relationship with their husband or wife.

stray bullet · Jan 25, 2005

Sex is not just for making babies.
Sex is for both reasons. That's why sex was designed the way it was.

Chajara · Jan 25, 2005

Then I must not be understanding your reasoning. Sex is for both pleasure and making babies... but if you don't want babies, then you can't have sex even if you crave the pleasure? That simply doesn't make sense, to me anyway.

praying · Jan 25, 2005

Saved13 said:
Is it okie for a Christian married couple to use condoms to help plan out when they want to have kids?

Yes

praying · Jan 25, 2005

stray bullet said:
Don't have sex unless you are ready for kids. You can end up in a lot of trouble playing games with sex, as birth control is not 100% effective.

Even if you are ready (whatever that might entail) suppose you just don't want them then?

praying · Jan 25, 2005

stray bullet said:
People have biological, instintual desires. When people say they don't have them (when they should), it suggests a psychological abnormality.

and having kids is not one of them. That is socially instilled.

Aslo do you have links to support this, that if you don't want kids you are psychologically abnormal. I have heard it all now.

Hooch · Jan 25, 2005

Wow- even the supposedly Christian community thinks condom use is ok.

I think the rapture will be coming any minute now.

praying · Jan 25, 2005

Hooch said:
Wow- even the supposedly Christian community thinks condom use is ok.

I think the rapture will be coming any minute now.

supposedly Christian - the rapture may be coming but that is definitely against forum rules

Lokisdottir · Jan 25, 2005

Chajara said:
Well, I have maternal instinct up the wazoo, if I see anything smaller and in need of mommying, I mommy it half to death. Kittens, bugs, stuffed animals, anything.

Well, okay, I'll admit I do have an "awwitssoCUTE" reaction in there somewhere. It's mostly reserved for small fuzzy animals. Dunno if I'd call that maternal, but hey, it's something.

Using condoms if you're married?

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