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us exsperts on safe, responsible, and esteem building behaviors and managing skills:

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goldenviolet

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sometime SI is an emotion, a habit, an example. a planned or unplanned response to something inside.
"click" it comes on when triggered by something that you know all too well. sometimes it's a sudden response, and sometimes it's a building reponse that just gets to big to be contained. you are your own exsperts. you need to tell your doctors, councelors, friends, family, etc., your particular pushes. you help them, then they can help you. have you already learned techiques for your struggles with SI? i'll like to make this thread a place to share the ideas that help you manage through some of these though times.

i'm dee. i have not SI-ed for over 15 years. i replaced it with art and poetry. the Lord helped me write and paint and sculpt, out my frustrations with life. now, i see that This Great Artist; the King and creator of the universe, gave a glimps of Himself, in me.

Any tips and tricks/management skills that are given, are merely suggestions that should be brought up with your counselor's and/or doctors before putting them to use. Please always follow the advice of your counselors over what you read here.

a glimpse of Himself in my poetry...

mystery from my tongue like effervecent bubbles
holding a banquet of color, from my pallet to the universe

a gift from God's hands
His own design
a glimpse of His artistry

all to rest a tear of joy in my eyes,
and before it exscaped my understanding;
He whispered I love you.
I find joy in you. I made you.
you are mine.

then i realized.
He gave a glimpse of Himself in me.
 

goldenviolet

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my biggest tigger was thinking or feeling like a failure. either by people, family, myself, or even what i believed was God.

art showed me glimpses of what God has created, and gave me a deeper understanding of beauty.
writing gave me understanding and growth: it gave me voice to the things that moved or scared me from the bible, life and God. it gave my feelings and thoughts; both dark and healthy, a beauiful and fullfilling way of exsploring and exspressing my soul.

your turn common... this thread is for you... what churns your spirit?
 
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Mayflower1

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Dee. You are all too encouraging.

I am Shara, it has been a little over a month since I SI-ID! Before I relapsed, it had been a little over a year. What helps me the most is writing and reaffirming the truth, that I do have worth through God, I am a child of His, I am smart, and loved, and NEVER alone. I sing and give thanks to God when those times come on now that sometimes feels so unbearable. I know that stress is a trigger so I read a little book called 101 ways to manage stress. A drive and typing out my stresses helps a lot...

I tried my hand at writing a poem myself, writing kind of helps focus on the good. Though I am by no means as great a writer as Dee!

My eyes look upon my scars but not with grief.
For God allowed them for a reason.
Slowly they fade but never permanently.
If they did I would forget.

My testimony before others is one that keeps growing.
They know I'm not perfect. No one is.
But what they see is one who keeps going and going and going...
If I didn't I would forget.

Then a time comes where the feelings come back and I sit in the corner with my head in my hands. Father, why does this keep coming back when I don't want it to come back?
If it didn't, only God knows that I'd forget.

Forget what? The pain that comes from it? No, not that.
How I failed? Not that either.

Then why does God allow it?

To remember how He brought me close to Him.

How I one day threw down the knife and said NO MORE!

That though I have scars they are fading.

That the truth isn't that I'm a failure, but victorious through my Saviour Jesus Christ.

That I can keep going because of Him.

That I can be victorious in my darkest times now and that it gets easier every time.

And how great God is to have got me this far.

That is what I am to remember. And I WON'T forget. Not now or ever:

"Though youths grow weary and tired and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will rise up with wings like eagles, they will walk and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary."


God bless,

Shara
 
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flying_kiwifruit

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My main triggers are failure and stress. I like to write stories and poetry and also do graphic design as it relaxes me and they are the things many peole have told me I'm good at.

I have a past
That is grim
but don't be sad
For I have won
Stories to share
With those who
Live in a fear
Of slipping up
I can now say
I know what you mean
For I was there
Only months ago
So now I say thankyou
For letting me struggle
For letting fight my battle
For now I can help
Those who are fighting battles.

Not the best one in the world but oh well I don't care.
 
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Tenebrae

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Alot of our clients are able to utilise DBT to prevent self harm


Its a long process so I'm told, however its made alot of difference for many of our clients, it gives them alot more options when things are getting stressful and they want to self harm


This is a self help website, however it should give people an idea of whats involved with DBT

http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/
 
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goldenviolet

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sometimes i like to turn my music up so loud that i can't think about anything except the words. i listen to praise. i think this is helpful if the songs you choose are snappy, and fun. some music isn't at all distracting; but abit enabling because they're too glum or dysfunctional.
does anyone listen to music online? we have a radio at the top left of bar options.
 
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Celtic Camel

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seems poetry is helpful for alot of us... I used to write a lot more, but for some reason don't much anymore... (i'll share a couple of mine at the end of this post)

Anyway, possibly the most helpful thing my counsellor has told me this time round, is that "Tiredness doesn't mean I have to cut"...
often my need to SI is worst when I am worn out and feel like I just can't fight any more (that includes fighting against the desire to SI)...
also, as most of us have heard before, holding an ice cube sometimes helps...
(there's been moments where I've held the ice cube in one hand, and something else in the other, but knowing that someone cared enough to tell me about the ice cube just carries me through)

I'm babbling... so I'll just type the poems...
 
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Mayflower1

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I love my radio. I cruise along in the car and it helps me to relax. But yes, poetry is a biggie. I posted this in my blog. It is another that helped me to get my thoughts out.

I'm laying it at the feet of You, Oh God. I'm laying at Your feet.

Though tears may stream I'll trust in You, You always have my best in mind.

I have strong visions, I'm trying a choice, but You alone have the ultimate decision.

I fear the rejection from past mistakes. Not too long ago, seems like only yesterday.

But if it is in Your will, it will come to pass and very soon. If not, then I must move on though it is always hard to let go.

All things work together for the good after all as a daughter in Christ.

But You are so much greater then I. I am down on my face, hands, and knees, a minute grain of sand in Your great and awesome hand, my Father.

I have made so many mistakes. I have been so very self-centered. I ask humbly for your forgiveness and ask that You guide me now.

Help me to please lay this at Your feet. To let go and allow You to work in my life.

After all, You know way more then me. About an infinite supply more...

All I know is I know nothing. And I must depend on You if I am to really be content.

My heart thirsts for You Father. I want to get back on track. I want to have that bond with You I had before.

It seems to be broken.

gone.

But there is a faint light in the darkness and I hear You calling my name. God help me find the way to Your flame.

Please, before it is too late, and my flame goes out.

Before I am consumed in the deceitfulness of my own heart...

Before I make a horrible mistake and make the wrong decision.

What do you want me to do with my life?????

Do you want me to be a full time missionary?

90% aren't.

Do you want me to be in the Navy?

I don't think they will even accept me now with what happened in October.

I just don't know. And I am on my last string. And I said I would go to You first and not when I got down to this point...

But who am I kidding...

I couldn't speak. I didn't listen... so now I am going to speak, and then Word of God speak... please like the song, just pour down like rain on me.

Take my life. Take me Father... Anything I could possible do on my own is vain without You. Just striving after the wind...

But with You using me...

But how?

where do you want me to go?

What do you want me to do?

Father, this is Your child screaming out for some sort of peace of mind.

I'm laying at Your feet...

In Jesus Name, Amen...





Of course, it was a prayer too. And it just really helped to just get it out in that way. Poetry and music just help you to get your thoughts together and relax. And I love to talk to God in that way.
 
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