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Moonjaw

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What a week it has been! Dispite my praying, My head is all tied up in knots and I'm not sure what direction to go in so I have turned my thoughts over to you guys for help.

So here is the situation

I'm in a big friend group with about 13 other people at school. We have been a big group for a while now, and I previously thought that we all got along well. I am closer to 2 other members of the group (We will call them S and C) and we all sit together during our free periods and such.
Recently, my other friend (call her G) invited all 10 members of the group to an outing and purposely didn't invite me, S and C. Of course, we ended up asking G if we had upset her or done anything wrong in order for her to not invite us.

G ended up saying that they had felt excluded because me S and C often hung out without anyone else (G is currently in a relationship, and we often invited them but they would do their own thing) and that she doesnt feel bad for not inviting us and she said some very hostile and hurful things. (We imminently apologised, not knowing that we had caused her to feel that way)

However, it also seems like the rest of the group (the 10 people who were invited to the outing) have sort of turned against us. Some of them have started spreading very mean rumours about S and they have overall hurt us alot. I believe maybe some of these things is because:
1. My ex is in the group and he has been saying mean stuff about me to others but I have just tried to pray for him and ignore it.
2. G has projected her negative emotions onto them.

Even though we apologised, we sofar we haven't been able to sit down and talk it out! So it is very tense and I dont know what to do. Do i sit with them, even though they hurt me and my friends and are still hurting us and are displaying very mean behaviour? Or do I distance myself? Or should I try and be friends with G again, even though I know that they will probably just be mean to us again in the future and will never really be good nice friends with us?

This is all so confusing! Sorry for the wall of text, just needed some advice. This is a VERY long problem ahah!
Thank you for reading.
 

JAM2b

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Sep 20, 2014
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I think I would give it a little time and allow some space. If they aren't wanting to have a conversation with you about it, then you have done all you can do. Cling to your other two friends and enjoy each other's company, be supportive of one another, and move on. If you other friends, some or all of them, come around and want to have an honest and productive conversation about it, then let them. But you don't have to accept hostility from them.

There are plenty of people in the world to choose friends from. Feel free to grieve the loss if you have to, and develop relationships with others.
 
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