Have you ever gotten to a point where you have to stop cutting because you are afraid you will go too far?
Just wondering, because I'm at that point right now. I've been a cutter for 4 years now (I am afraid to use the term "former cutter" for fear that it won't hold true - not even sure that I want it to), and this past February, I picked up the habit again after 581 days of being cut free.
From February until July, I didn't really cut much at all. However, in July things got bad between me and my fiancé (those things got fixed within the next few weeks, but the damage was done) and I started cutting seriously again.
So I have prayed about it a lot... talked with J (my fiancé) about it... and in early August threw away all four blades that I had stored up in different places. I know that were I to pick up another set of blades again, it would go too far, into the ER visit range, and I've been there done that, and don't particularly want to do it again. It was interesting, but still, I've spent more than my fair share of time in hospitals. Don't want to spend any more time. And I definitely don't want to get sent back to the psych ward for a fifth time to get me remedicated. Heh.
Anyway. Just wanted to know if any of you had experienced this.
Just wondering, because I'm at that point right now. I've been a cutter for 4 years now (I am afraid to use the term "former cutter" for fear that it won't hold true - not even sure that I want it to), and this past February, I picked up the habit again after 581 days of being cut free.
From February until July, I didn't really cut much at all. However, in July things got bad between me and my fiancé (those things got fixed within the next few weeks, but the damage was done) and I started cutting seriously again.
So I have prayed about it a lot... talked with J (my fiancé) about it... and in early August threw away all four blades that I had stored up in different places. I know that were I to pick up another set of blades again, it would go too far, into the ER visit range, and I've been there done that, and don't particularly want to do it again. It was interesting, but still, I've spent more than my fair share of time in hospitals. Don't want to spend any more time. And I definitely don't want to get sent back to the psych ward for a fifth time to get me remedicated. Heh.
Anyway. Just wanted to know if any of you had experienced this.
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