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this was the worst bit of it ever (SI)

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secretx

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Hi,

ok, I've posted a bit around here talking about my SI and how my mom found out I'd started again after stopping for so long.

Well today my dad was being a complete jerk, making fun of me, (little things frustrate me, I can't control it, I don't know why, so I kind of act stupid I guess ), so I was so mad/anxious (I guess), and I went into my room and cut. I had been in there for awhile I guess, and my mom came in wondering what I was doing. She didn't suspect anything, she was just wondering what I was up to.

But I was right in the middle!! :o

And I tried to hide it with my body, but I was sitting, so kind of hard to do.
So then she went and got me some more kleenex, and I thought she wasn't going to get mad, but then she got my dad, brought him to my room, and kind of... umm..... pulled me by my arm across the floor to show my dad what I was doing. I was holding my left arm with my right, so I didn't have a free arm.

Now here is where my surprise comes in: all seven years I've SI'ed, I always thought my dad knew!!! It turns out today was the first time he found out about any of this.
All he said was: "slashed?" when my mom said "look what she's doing"
yea still confused about that one....

anyways, my mom promised me that if I do it just one more time, she will be taking me to the hospital so they can watch me 24 hours a day.

Because apparently that's what I need

I said I wouldn't do it anymore, and she went through my drawers looking for what I would use.
And she took it all away

Anyways, what do you all think of this?
What would you do?
 
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LazeyWinde

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*hugs*
I had a similiar experience when my parents first found out that I was cutting... My father was not supportive at all, he was angry and yelling at me about it. Which made me wanna do it even more...
I told them I wouldn't cut anymore too, and it got me to not cut for a while at least.
Do the best you can to not self harm. Work on coping skills for when the urge gets to you. Also try some deep breathing or other techniqes for your anxiety.
Hopefully now your father will connect him being a jerk to your self harming and realize that it is a trigger and knock off the teasing.
 
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Finn88

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Aw secretx hunny that sounds horrible!!!
I would absolutely hate if that happened to me

Try not to worry about wot your parents say and do! I know its hard not to let people affect you, especially people so close, but concentrate on your own recovery! For YOUR sake, not theirs! Dont stop because of threats and embarrasment, but stop because you are a PRECIOUS daughter of the king, and are worth SO MUCH to him! stop because you are beautiful and valuable and loved more than you can imagine! stop because you are in Gods hands and have nothing to fear,Isiah41v10 and know no condemnation Romans8v1!

Do you have a counceller? Dont just stop the behaviour, but get help to get to the bottom of it once and for all! There is ALWAYS something deeper that needs healing so that you can go on to be a happy, healthy idividual!

As for your mum saying she'll take you to hospital so they can watch you...to be honest I dont think they can keep you in!

You might want to think about talking to your dad...he's probably feeling just as confused as you about this! He really had no idea?! Then he wont have a clue about how his teasing made you feel either!

Praying for you
Finnxxx
 
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meh

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Well, it can be quite a shock for parents when they find these things out.

That doesn't mean you don't deserve support. You deserve unconditional support. And you don't deserve to be judged or abused because you self-injure. If you aren't getting good support at home, please find a counselor or priest or youth group irl that can offer you the place to talk and feel accepted.

You are accepted here, of course
 
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berry2000

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I am sorry that happened to you! Cutting is very private and its particularly hard when some "finds out" that you didn't decide to tell.

Sounds like they are concerned and scared and don't know what to do. A lot of parents think hospitalization is the only way to keep their child safe. But regular therapy (outpatient) can be very helpful. Do you have a counselor that you can talk to?

Also sounds like you were suprised your Dad didn't know and you had more to say on that. Were you suprised by his response? Did it make you feel better or worse?

On the bright side I suppose it would have been worse if you Mom found out and didn't show any concern at all right?
 
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