hi
i don't know if this is the right place to post this or not. i just wanted to share what i've been through and how i ended up here. if that's ok? i'm not a complete newbie but i'm back again, if that makes sense? i always was confused about religion but i always felt that there was a higher power, a god but i could never explain to myself of how to reach out to him, or how to do it the right way, with the right people, the right places etc etc. questions over questions. my family is kind of interesting - (so confusing that i don't even know where i stand but i do believe -i'm still weak- but getting stronger every day). my mother is protestant, my father catholic, my brother christian (non-d), my aunt, grandpa, grandma are baptists, my uncle and his family are jehovah witnesses. where do i belong? and i must add - my family does not get along that well because of all the religions present. i believe that there is one god (many religions) but in the end, we all believe in the same god. is that valid? i believe so. we don't have a place to judge and it drives me insane when my family does that. i never really got any 'guidance' from my family members, they never took me to church or gave me a bible that i could actually read and understand being a child/teen.
i had a time while i was going through my teenage yrs not wanting to believe in god, i always felt his presence and that i 'know' better ...every time i did something 'wrong' (sinful). then i had a boyfriend who was (at least seemed to be) very religious. his family actually is. i say that because he would judge me day in and day out about how i need to be saved right now or i will go to hell, and everytime i'd ask him how do you know? is it your place to judge? he would get furious and start yelling - saying things like, it's his place to be... (laughter in my head *sorry* --yeah right). i tried being with him and his church, but then even his church split apart accusing each other of having stolen money... hello? where's the peace in all of this? the friendship, the love? anywhere? no where! my then bf kept saying how great god and his new church are and that everyone outside of their tiny church of 20 people would be going to hell... excuse me, who is he to know that? he's got no place to judge! i'm not judging him, or am i? all i'm saying is he shouldn't judge. the rest is up to god. we broke up (whoohoo) after that i sometimes would read the bible by myself or watch a religious show on television (i have enough of these churches around me, all they do is fight internally - i'm exhausted, i got bpIId, major depression, anxiety and panic disorder, avoidant personality disorder and ocd,... i don't need to add on more stress.) that's one reason i googled christian communities online and ended up here. i feel this is a great place. back to where i was... *srry* i would read and watch the occasional show but never really got into it or practiced the discipline to keep on going. but now again, just like all this time, i feel as if there is someone with me, watching over me, telling me it is ok and not to be afraid. (it just won't leave me alone, [if you can't beat it, join it ;-)]i'm trying not to be afraid/scared, it may be easier for me without all of my conditions (i will no longer use them as an excuse) but i can do this. i will worship god, i will pray, i can overcome all of my fears -- no matter how big they are.
but here comes my actual question:
my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 4 years, we will eventually get married. he grew up being a jehovah witness but left that 'church' when he was 16. he has no interest left in religion currently because of what that church has done to him [i will keep it at that, i don't want to insult anybody, please don't feel offended - he just had a very VERY bad experience]. i'm praying for him, he will find his way... i know that. but is it ok to marry somebody who isn't spiritually 'there yet'. you know what i mean? i love him, we are soulmates... there is no doubt. can anybody put a bit of input on this? what do you think? what does the bible say? i'm even more confused when it comes to us having kids because i won't go to a specific church... every church i've ever been to has fallen apart... nothing but lies and betrayal... it's like being back in history... sometimes i wonder if i'm in a movie... and where the (happy?) - ending is.
sorry for taking up this much space, i just wanted to get this of my chest. thank you so much for reading.
i don't know if this is the right place to post this or not. i just wanted to share what i've been through and how i ended up here. if that's ok? i'm not a complete newbie but i'm back again, if that makes sense? i always was confused about religion but i always felt that there was a higher power, a god but i could never explain to myself of how to reach out to him, or how to do it the right way, with the right people, the right places etc etc. questions over questions. my family is kind of interesting - (so confusing that i don't even know where i stand but i do believe -i'm still weak- but getting stronger every day). my mother is protestant, my father catholic, my brother christian (non-d), my aunt, grandpa, grandma are baptists, my uncle and his family are jehovah witnesses. where do i belong? and i must add - my family does not get along that well because of all the religions present. i believe that there is one god (many religions) but in the end, we all believe in the same god. is that valid? i believe so. we don't have a place to judge and it drives me insane when my family does that. i never really got any 'guidance' from my family members, they never took me to church or gave me a bible that i could actually read and understand being a child/teen.
i had a time while i was going through my teenage yrs not wanting to believe in god, i always felt his presence and that i 'know' better ...every time i did something 'wrong' (sinful). then i had a boyfriend who was (at least seemed to be) very religious. his family actually is. i say that because he would judge me day in and day out about how i need to be saved right now or i will go to hell, and everytime i'd ask him how do you know? is it your place to judge? he would get furious and start yelling - saying things like, it's his place to be... (laughter in my head *sorry* --yeah right). i tried being with him and his church, but then even his church split apart accusing each other of having stolen money... hello? where's the peace in all of this? the friendship, the love? anywhere? no where! my then bf kept saying how great god and his new church are and that everyone outside of their tiny church of 20 people would be going to hell... excuse me, who is he to know that? he's got no place to judge! i'm not judging him, or am i? all i'm saying is he shouldn't judge. the rest is up to god. we broke up (whoohoo) after that i sometimes would read the bible by myself or watch a religious show on television (i have enough of these churches around me, all they do is fight internally - i'm exhausted, i got bpIId, major depression, anxiety and panic disorder, avoidant personality disorder and ocd,... i don't need to add on more stress.) that's one reason i googled christian communities online and ended up here. i feel this is a great place. back to where i was... *srry* i would read and watch the occasional show but never really got into it or practiced the discipline to keep on going. but now again, just like all this time, i feel as if there is someone with me, watching over me, telling me it is ok and not to be afraid. (it just won't leave me alone, [if you can't beat it, join it ;-)]i'm trying not to be afraid/scared, it may be easier for me without all of my conditions (i will no longer use them as an excuse) but i can do this. i will worship god, i will pray, i can overcome all of my fears -- no matter how big they are.
but here comes my actual question:
my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 4 years, we will eventually get married. he grew up being a jehovah witness but left that 'church' when he was 16. he has no interest left in religion currently because of what that church has done to him [i will keep it at that, i don't want to insult anybody, please don't feel offended - he just had a very VERY bad experience]. i'm praying for him, he will find his way... i know that. but is it ok to marry somebody who isn't spiritually 'there yet'. you know what i mean? i love him, we are soulmates... there is no doubt. can anybody put a bit of input on this? what do you think? what does the bible say? i'm even more confused when it comes to us having kids because i won't go to a specific church... every church i've ever been to has fallen apart... nothing but lies and betrayal... it's like being back in history... sometimes i wonder if i'm in a movie... and where the (happy?) - ending is.
sorry for taking up this much space, i just wanted to get this of my chest. thank you so much for reading.