The Pros and Cons of a Baby

I'm not a mom, but if you want to have a baby and are able to support it then I say go for it. You may want to finish school and everything first and make sure you discuss it with your husband (obviously) but the fact that you want a baby is great! There are so many people having babies that don't want them and can't take care of them. Hopefully your friends will stick by you in this, if they don't then they probably aren't real friends. A lot of my friends have been getting engaged lately, and I have nothing but good wishes for them, and I can't wait to babysit for them (since they'll probably have kids before I do). Good luck!

I would say "borrow" a kid from one of your friends for a week. If, at the end of the week you still want a baby, go for it. Otherwise, you've only been married 8 months. Wait wait wait. There's all the time in the world (well, a good 10-15 years) for babies. This is just me; I'm SURE you're different, because I don't even have TWINGES of wanting a baby, but my husband and I are going to wait about 8-9 more years (we've been married a year and a half). Like I said, spend some time around some children, and THEN make up your mind.

Oy, I know that 'baby itch'. lol  Yup, having a baby changes everything, and greatly so for one so young as yourself (ok, for myself too. lol ). Since you have only been married for 8 months, I guess my best advice would be to hold off on the baby making plans for a while. I know that it seems like the natural thing to do, and it is next in line of the "things I'd like in this life list", but if you don't have a rock solid foundation of your marriage it will get really nutty with another new person thrown in the mix.

I don't know that you've been married long enough to know all of the fine and crazy things that happen when two people learn how to live and love together without strangling each other- and come to the realization that even at it's worst they are in it for life. I'm sure that lots of people have the mental knowledge of that, but the berevity of the situation doesn't always come when you exchange vows and sign your John Hancock on the dotted line. If you put too much stress on a budding relationship, it can make things mighty sticky later on down the road.

Babies are wonderful blessings. I would never tell you any different, even when I am scrubbing poo out of the carpet and fighting to keep a 'mean' look on my face so she doesn't think poo messes are a riot. I have never knew sleep deprivation like I learned with my daughter. I had five months of 3-hour feedings because she was a preemie. I'd never quite known fear as potent as the first time she stopped breathing and turned blue, and I didn't know what to do. I've never felt so much happy, warm, fuzzy pride as I do when she calls me "mawmee" and wraps her skinny little arms around my neck and fakes sounds of strain, as though she is hugging me with every muscle in her body. I've never known such frustration, constantly wearing baby puke like it is this season's hottest perfume- and having it constantly reapplied. There has never been such a time before when I have felt so utterly helpless, scared, and completely worn- that I could just dissolve in a puddle of tears. There has never been such a time that I could regain my sense of child-like innocence and eat pretend food, crawl on the floor, make funny faces, and screech like a banchee. Oh, and they say that it gets even crazier when they become teenagers.  

Babies are wonderful little people, but that little person will test your mettle every step of the way. So, since one person alone is just not enough to make it out alive (lol), you have to make sure that you and your husband are pretty much unshakable first. As far as the friends go, that is going to just be a fact of life. If anyone decides that they don't want to spend time with you because you have other pleasant responsibilities, then that is their problem. I'm sure that you'll miss them (I know that I missed mine for a while), but what can you do? Your circle of friends will just change, that is all- and conversation will come easy when you find another woman in your same position who needs to vent about the craziness of her 'married with children' life. So, learn how to be married, borrow a baby whenever you get the itch, and enjoy a little bit of "freedom" for the time being. Believe me, it just isn't the same trying to get out of the house with baby, bag, carrier/stroller, and assorted toys as it was when all you had to do was grab your coat and run out the door. EVERYTHING changes. I'm not complaining though.   Besides, enjoy your sleep now, because if God decides its time for you to have a baby, then you are having a baby. lol You've just got to love those pleasant surprises. heeheeheehee..........

I would say wait atleast another year. The first couple years of marriage can be the most fun and the roughest. Also once you have a child your 'freedom' is gone. You can't just up and deciede that this weekend your gonna go on a romantic getaway. So take this time to get to know your husband, go on those little trips together. Because even though children are a wonderful blessing they do change your lives. My husband and I waited 3 years and 361 days lol. My son was born 4 days before our 4 year wedding anniversary.

gwyyn

I'm in the minority here. I can't give you advice on whether you should have a baby now or wait. My three were definite surprises. I had my first at 18, my second at 21, and my third at 23. My kids and I are best friends and for me it worked out great. I'm young and they are coming into the teen years. We relate and they think I'm cool (even though their friends think I'm overbearing, overprotective and bit of a grump sometimes. LOL)

I'm a definite lover of boundaries - it makes my life so much easier. When my kids are grown and out of the house I'll be a whopping 41. Although I'm praying about taking on some little ones with disabilities. Then I hope to never have an empty home. ~smile~

If you aren't ready - wait. It is hard. I started and finished college with kids. I spent my growing up years with little ones around my ankles. It's not easy but if it's a true desire it is SO worth it.

What are your husband's feelings? We had our first 5 months after our 2nd wedding anniversary. And our second a little less than two years after that. It has been a wonderful experience, but also trying at times. I thank God for the supportive husband that I have and for a great family. I understand how you feel about your single friends. We were the first in out circle of close friends to get married and yes it did change those relationships. You are living a different life experience then them and for me I found it hard to relate to them in the same way i once did. We were also the first in our circle of close friends to have children and then our priorties changed again. I found out quickly who my true friends were and those are the people that I maintain a great relationship with. My husband and I are now the "experts" (that make me laugh) in our group when it comes to marriage and children. Like we have all the answers. SO, in a way it is good that I can offer advice to friends that are now going through what I already have. If you are waiting for more financial stability - I am not sure there is ever such a thing. You learn to make sacrifices. My advice is to pray about it, talk with your husband about your feelings, and leave it all in God's hands. He can do wonderful things. Don't worry about what kind of mom you will be - no one knows until they become one. I wish you much luck and will pray for you and whatever decision you come to. God Bless.