The balance of a Christian

You may appreciate God's creation without worrying that your are idolizing it. He put many things, people, places, etc., that we may enjoy. That doesn't mean you are starting to love God less.

For instance, example, let's say you are married and have children. You don't have to choose between loving one with your whole heart and thus having no love for the other. You may love both.

I think what you have to avoid is worshipping things other than God. You can enjoy things without making them #1 in your life. In fact, to help you maintain perspective, you may even praise God for His wonderful creation. Adopt an attitude of gratitude, and you cannot go wrong.

At least, these are my thoughts on the matter. I do not think you have to completely divorce yourself from the world. In fact, short of heaven, I think it impossible.

I don't know if I can recommend any books, save the Bible. You can see in Psalms and Proverbs examples of God-fearing people admiring His works. For example:

There be three things which are too wonderful for me, yea, four which I know not: The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent upon a rock; the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; and the way of a man with a maid. (Proverbs 30:18-19)

There be four things which are little upon the earth, but they are exceeding wise: The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer; The conies are but a feeble folk, yet make they their houses in the rocks; The locusts have no king, yet go they forth all of them by bands; The spider taketh hold with her hands, and is in kings' palaces. (Proverbs 30:24-28)

Let the heaven and earth praise him, the seas, and every thing that moveth therein. (Psalms 69:34)

Sing, O ye heavens; for the LORD hath done it: shout, ye lower parts of the earth: break forth into singing, ye mountains, O forest, and every tree therein: for the LORD hath redeemed Jacob, and glorified himself in Israel. Thus saith the LORD, thy redeemer, and he that formed thee from the womb, I am the LORD that maketh all things; that stretcheth forth the heavens alone; that spreadeth abroad the earth by myself; (Isaiah 44:23-24)

... I don't know if any of that helps, but it seems you don't have to ignore everything just to worship God.

Going to Europe is a great opportunity. When things come along such as this, don't think of turning away from it. Think what has God planned for me to do there. Maybe there is someone there you can witness to, or maybe you are going with someone that you can witness to.

The educational accomplishements that you are and will do in your life will lead you where God wants you. These are not about you choosing something over God, it's God directing you where He wants you. You can be a spiritually intense person who has a successful career. And how much of a testimony would that be to others, when you are successful and tell others it is because God has Blessed you.
It is not necessarily about what you do, but that you give the Glory to God. Go to Europe and give the Glory to God, be success on earthly standards and give the Glory to God. Don't feel bad about what you are doing, but think of it as an opportunity to express God to others by giving Him Glory.

God Bless

I just think that you are most likely a person who is very hard on himself, STOP. Let God lead and guide you, even in a 'secular' job you can witness to people about the Good News. I am sorry you are suffering, I know it is a hard road we walk on, but we do not walk it alone, our High Priest, Jesus, is forever petitioning God on our behalf, He is the bridge, stay on it. May He comfort you and guide your every step.
God Bless
B

I heard from someone the other day that said "the word love is completely abused today" if you think about it, that's so true. In the earlier languages such as Hebrew and Aramaic, love has a much much deeper meaning that our modern englisn. For instance, we can say "I love oreo cookies" or "I love that movie" we use it almost so much that we have become ignorant of it's deeper meaning.

For me giving it up to God and trusting in him is the most exciting times of my life. Sadly, these times usually happen when I'm up a creek without a paddle. Whenever our gut says to do something right and we falter out of concern for how others will perceive us we choose not to make our lives extraordinary, I've done this as many or more times than most to my embarassment.

If you refer to life in general. Enjoy the small conveniences like TV, good food, good company etc... Look at it as a break from God's calling for you to do harder things. Just be on the look out for God leading you to his will and if you can answer the calls when they come.