Tangled with the government and won?

Different states use different letters but DCFS, Department of Children and Family Services is what I grew up knowing them as.

Something I have noticed, across the boards, no matter the community it seems that as soon as I tell our story, people write us off. We went through an unjust and painful horror & even Christians seem to assume that if DCFS takes your child you must be a really bad, really bad person. We feel so alone, so issolated. In part I want to ask if anybody else has had to fight DCFS & try and form some mutual support.

Our story began in early Dec. of '07.

I went to a psychiatrist because I was really struggling and it appeared that the doctor I went to see wasn't a good match. She wanted me to do inpatient and that was the opposite of what I needed. So I left her office to seek help from a doc who would hear what I was saying rather than project what she expected, because it looked like she was going to force the issue. I left my wife and baby in the office, so we could communicate by cellphone & if it wasn't what I thought, I'd come right back. Well the cops swarmed the doctor's office and held them hostage. We negotiated going to a different hospital to see a psychatrist there (that was what I wanted afterall) but they double crossed me and put me on a 72 hour hold.

My wife had a jealous friend (40's, early menopause, sleeping with married men but no real relationships, bipolar bad enough to be on SSDI, obese) who was jealous my wife is in a stable relationship, has a baby, and is spending time with us (her family) rather than her friend. Anyway, friend rallied a church aquaintance to "do an intervention" on my wife while I was indisposed. They also called DCFS and complained that our house was a mess and "unsafe". Bear in mind, I was working full time and managing my issues, we were moving into a house that still had previous occupants property in it, combining our households, AND my wife had just given birth!

Near the end of the 72 hours, the docs recognized that I was having a rough go of things but absolutely didn't need in-patient. I was released imediately after a pre-hearing screening. A DCFS worker showed up at our door demanding entry, but refusing to say why (even though in our state that is one of their stated requirements). We didn't let him in. Honestly, if he wasn't going to say why he wanted in, who would let him in? He certainly didn't have a warrant & we supposedly have 4th ammendment rights.

We switched doctors because we were unhappy with the vibe we were getting from the pediatrician associated with the hospital where our daughter was born and are really happy with our family doctor and have seen and want the kind of interactions we've seen between him and other child-patients, he's good. In the phone conversation in which I "fired" the pediatrician with rotten bedside manners, he threatened to call DCFS if we didn't keep seeing him (ethics violation ya think?)

Well that was enough to set the following in motion -

The night of terror.

That is how we refer to it. It has the ring and weight of "ther night of broken glass" when old jews tell their stories. Here is how it went down:

Bad things happen on my birthday, with such regularity that I have become a bit supersticious about it. Other people go out on their birthdays . . . I won't leave the house, take the day off work and prefer to watch movies in a basement if I can. I just lay low, 24 hours and I am safe, right? So my sweetheart picks me up from work the day before my birthday and has our child with. I want to stop at the hospital and visit a client on the way home and then the grocery. The closer to my birthday, the more nervous I get being outside. We stop at the Walgreens between the grocery and home, to pick up something (milk I think) we forgot.

We pull up in front of the house and I notice lights on that shouldn't be. I tell my sweetheart to wait in the car. I try the front door and it won't unlock. There is a barrel bolt on the inside of the door that we use when we are home (can't be locked or unlocked from the outside) and since that is the door we went out. . . . I went around back and the door looked like it had been forced, but it too was locked. then I saw my dogs standing on the broken glass from the interior front door that had made its way the depth of the house into the kitchen. There were huge mounds of dog poo on the kitchen floor and the dogs looked scared, a St. Bernard and a Great Dane. So I called the police thinking the intruder(s) might still be inside.

The police came after a long time. They frisked me in my own front yard and asked me if there were any weapons in the house. I told them where the guns were supposed to be. They invited us in and asked some more questions. They then said that only one of my guns was in the house and they put it someplace, they'd tell me before they left. Then they said, the good news is, that we weren't burglarized. The bad news is SWAT hit your house earlier in the evening and they would need to take our daughter into custody. They'd found warrant papers as they were wrapping up their search for the burglars. Now, our daughter was 1.5 months old at the time! So they took our daughter. . . . what could we do?

They told us that they'd be taking her to the local children's home to be checked out. My sweetheart colapsed in anguish and I swept the glass and cleaned up the poo. I don't know if they used tasers or teargas on the dogs, but those two don't usually have problems. . . seems they did their best to watch the house but were no match for the brutal SWAT tactics.

We went to the childrens home where they were holding our daughter. We were told that we couldn't see her and given a 24 hour number for DCFS. The DCFS worker told us that we'd have to leave the children's home & that we were causing a disturbance and making things bad for our case just by being there. We were talking quietly in a deserted lobby on our cell phones, but we left. . . not knowing what we were being accused of, not knowing when we'd see our daughter again, and our house having been torn up by SWAT.

One last errand. . . . We also had a condo, so we needed to check there. We got up there and found that the door was completely sealed over by plywood and fastened every 8 inches with a odd screw (later found out it was a security torx). I pulled one corner off with my crowbar including one of the 4" screws that was screwed into the door frame. That'd make it easier to find a bit to match, at the hardware store the following day. Could only shine a little light in, the door was laying on the floor and they'd knocked the hinge side out of the door (the door had pivotted on the deadbolt when they used their ram).

Back at the house, having burned up the rest of Friday evening and with no answers available til Monday. . . I spent my first birthday as a father consoling the devestation, cleaning the messes, waiting, hurting . . ..



A month and a half passed and we got our child back. Three and a half months from the night of terror, a judge ruled that the case was without merit and closed it in a pretrial hearing. No appologies, just "oh, I guess there wasn't a reason for all that, next case".

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Now, the part in italics I have posted elsewhere on this and other boards. A month and a half of our little girl's infancy we will never get back, never get back our first Christmas as a family (they wouldn't even let us see her through glass on Christmas), the expense of repairs to damage caused by the SWAT team, the fear, the violations of civil rights, of HIPPA, of department policies all seeming without recourse, the strain of lawyer bills, the company I worked for downsized and I lost my job due in part to absenteeism as a result of all the pre-trial hearings and hoops we had to jump through to get our daughter back (I might have kept my job - I was never absent for anything not related to getting her back & frequently picked up shifts for co-workers), the list goes on and on . . . We are devestated. We have a hard time trusting anyone. We feel so issolated, so vulnerable, so wounded. It is made worse because it seems like, even though the judge at pretrial closed the case without going to trial . . . there is this assumption we are bad people.

In a pretty big way, I am begging for support (not money) from Chirstians. We are still being abused by a government official, he is holding family heirlooms and about $2,000 worth of property which was illegally seized when the SWAT team sacked our home. Bear in mind it was just two days later when the same cops did what is described in this link: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,317398,00.html Our warrant cited only our daughter, though they took other lawfully owned property & has a large and literal blank spot where probable cause is supposed to be filled in.

I am frustrated & want to understand why Christians just seem to write us off. I don't mind answering any questions. I am open and honest, willing to talk further through this thread or PM's. We don't do any drugs, no domestic violence, we were both social workers employed helping the poor, addicted, and mentally ill. We have a stable, loving house even in that storm. Our child is healthy and what the pediatrician alleged when he made good on his threat was Failure to Thrive on a child 1.5 months old at the time. Failure to thrive may be suspected and result in more frequent weight checks over three months. . . but isn't diagnosed until 6 months. It is impossible for a 1.5 month old child to have Failure to Thrive. Our child was small/ she isn't anymore. . . our little girl followed a growth pattern that is alot like the rest of my mother's side -family, very stepped growth, big spurts where we fall behind and then leap ahead on the growth charts. My sister, mother and I were all the very same way. I want to talk about this with other parents, will hide nothing, and we really need to hear from Christians. When "you all" turn your backs, it kinda feels like God turning His back & we really need some healing in this area.

"you all" in quotes because it seems like, but I recognize that it isn't really you all. We need to hear that it isn't, though.

We have a lawyer. Lawyer costs are competeing with mortgage payments. . . suspect "they" intend to run us out of money and then sweep it under the rug. The lawyer is doing what he can, but it is slow, expensive, and we were just underpaid social workers trying to shine some light in the world. That $2K that is being held illegally would really help with lawyer fees & I suspect that is why they won't release what they have no legal grounds to keep.

What you need is a lawyer, not support ...

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is exactly what I am talking about. Like I said, I am not asking for money. We feel alone, abandoned by Christians who would encourage us to trust the very system that is raping us. There is pain and there is fear . .. those are feelings and we need help. Just pray! Or, if you can't bring yourself to pray, at least say you will. Why do Christians just write us off? We are part of the same body.

MsDahl, thank you so much. That is exactly the kind of help we need, a thought, a suggestion, a prayer. . . . A book title means (and this is nothing remotely sarcastic) alot. That is exactly the kind of book we needed and still could use as you never know when they'll take another swing at us & even this fight isn't over just 'cause the case is closed. 7 years they can still reach into our lives even on a closed case.

We will buy that book. Thank you.