Why do Christian widows and widowers pretend that they are "fine" and give Bible verses as if they erase the pain of this journey instead of being open and honest about the real struggles both in society and emotionally? The most help I got was on a forum where people expressed their pain along with their victories (example: I was able to buy yogurt at "our" grocery store for the first time without breaking down). I think people come here for realness and understanding but usually get "advice" that downplays their pain or worse comes from someone who imagines they knows what it feels like. Often the end result is feeling even more lonely because "there must be something wrong with me that I am still struggling and everyone else seems to have their life together." At 10 years, I am living my life....my kids are mostly thriving and are young adults that I am proud of (more thanks to God than thanks to me). However, I doubt that a day goes by that I don't think about my husband and miss him and hurt because I am alone. I struggle with why God thinks I am okay being alone even though I do see His hand in my life daily. I smile. I get my need to care for people through my work. However, I miss feeling happy. I am learning to accept that God never promised happiness on this side of death but I still miss it. Anyone else want a place to be real without others assuming that there is something wrong with our Christian walk?