Stuff I learned (From a baby Christian)

Hopes · Jan 7, 2014

nevermind

Hopes · Jan 7, 2014

nevermind

Hopes · Jan 7, 2014

50 people read my post but not one could say anything supportive or corrective or anything at all. No one could be bothered to say anything. That's fine and peoples prerogative but I am not wasting anymore time in a place like this. Now I remember why I hate churches.

CraftyTurtle · Jan 8, 2014

No replies? Give people a chance! Your post was only there for less than 24 hours. It sounds to me like you are expecting way too much from people. Remember, those people are probably experiencing similar angst and anguish as you. We don't all have answers for everybody.

AlanFromWichita · Jan 8, 2014

I came here to make a comment, but I can't unless you restore what you wrote. I know when you want opinions it can be an urgent thing, but please give it another try. I'll check back in later and see ... if you repost I'll give you my impression. OK?

Alan

AlanFromWichita · Jan 8, 2014

Seems like people don't reply to my posts very often either. When 50 read, you think someone would have at least a comment -- but maybe they thought it stood as written.

Hopes · Jan 8, 2014

Sorry I lost my temper again. Its just so incredibly hard for me to bare my soul to people and have them view "me" and not say anything. I am so used to people using anything they can to attack me so I cant hardly bring myself to be around people, even in this capacity.

I came here because Jesus says we have to love our neighbors as ourselves but this would be the hardest thing for me to do. I don't dislike people but they have always seemed to dislike me and I have been hurt so many times I just cant deal with it so I stay alone.

I had felt bad about this but then I read my devotional yesterday it was around this verse.

In the shadow of His hand He has concealed me; and He has also made me a select arrow; he has hidden me in His quiver.

I don't want to take it out of context but I think it means I am supposed to be alone. I am not supposed to be around people, at least not now. Maybe someday He will fix me to where I can be around people or this just might be the job He gave to me.

I don't think I am any special Christian, possibly a defective one but I did say some very specific prayers a long time ago and I keep asking Him for the same things. Don't know if that has anything to do with it or not but I kind of hope so.

Anyway sorry again. I have to get going and do ton of study. The time is short so maybe its good he gave me a bipolar brain that's a bit faster than the normal ones lol.

Peace and Hugs

Hopes

HIM_In_Me_In_HIM · Jan 23, 2014

Hopes said:
Sorry I lost my temper again. Its just so incredibly hard for me to bare my soul to people and have them view "me" and not say anything. I am so used to people using anything they can to attack me so I cant hardly bring myself to be around people, even in this capacity.

I came here because Jesus says we have to love our neighbors as ourselves but this would be the hardest thing for me to do. I don't dislike people but they have always seemed to dislike me and I have been hurt so many times I just cant deal with it so I stay alone.

I had felt bad about this but then I read my devotional yesterday it was around this verse.

In the shadow of His hand He has concealed me; and He has also made me a select arrow; he has hidden me in His quiver.

I don't want to take it out of context but I think it means I am supposed to be alone. I am not supposed to be around people, at least not now. Maybe someday He will fix me to where I can be around people or this just might be the job He gave to me.

I don't think I am any special Christian, possibly a defective one but I did say some very specific prayers a long time ago and I keep asking Him for the same things. Don't know if that has anything to do with it or not but I kind of hope so.

Anyway sorry again. I have to get going and do ton of study. The time is short so maybe its good he gave me a bipolar brain that's a bit faster than the normal ones lol.

Peace and Hugs

Hopes

I wish there was an easy answer that u could take hold of, in a secular way 'cuz, that seems to be the way most people easily receive.
But truth is, u may have to go thru this BPD for some time b4 Jesus releases u.
For He knows thru H>S> involvement with u. The "when" is up to u...and Him.
Took me 10 yrs time, but now am healed. Does devil try to re-introduce it to me? u betcha. but to no avail, as I laugh him off, and declare myself christs own.
You need to pump in as much positive tapes, cds, etc., that u can to overcome, as well as listen to spiritual stations, limit negative tv etc.
worship music helps immensely also.

shalom.

Hopes · Jan 31, 2014

In a way I do hope He heals me but not in the way you think. I just got back from another 6 day stay in the hospital and I have decided that I know what my problem is.

I have been gifted a wonderful mind by Him, but its a bit over powered (to say the least). Its like having a 1972 pinto body (inside my head)with a Porsche motor when it starts to rev up problems start to happen. I would just like that part healed and the lack of sleep but let the rest remain as is. I want to be able to handle the rev and sleep. That would be perfect.

My Doctor, a wonderful Doctor, recommended a book for me to read called "An Unquiet Mind." I am going to read it but just the fact he recommended it to me inspired me. I know the gist of the book and I am not going to lay down and quit and get on disability and let my disorder ruin my life. No, I was meant for better than that and I am going to spread my wings and by darn I am going to fly. I don't care how hard it is, or how many difficulties I face, I will fly one of these days. By fly I mean succeed incase someone actually thought I would sprout wings and fly which would be cool but its not what I meant.

Loven God · Feb 4, 2014

Hopes , I do not get a lot a replies to my posts eaither but when I doe they have been worth waiting for . I hope God will give you the help you need and that some of the replies you get were worth waiting for to . You are loved here and we do not want to see you go .

Hopes · Feb 4, 2014

Sorry about it. Its just sometimes exposing myself on here is a bit like standing nakid for me. I have a hard time with some of it. Plus I have not been doing too well. 2 trips to the hospital in less than a month is not a good time. I think I am doing better now and they switched up my meds again so hopefully I will stay ok.

I do however now have diabetes so I am trying to deal with that. I am grateful I only had to take the shots for a little while, only when I was in the hospital. Hopefully it will stay that way and the pills will work for me.

So basically having 2 manic episodes and blood sugar problems have made my moods extremely messed up as of late. Hope I can get settled down and do better.

HIM_In_Me_In_HIM · Feb 4, 2014

Hopes said:
Sorry about it. Its just sometimes exposing myself on here is a bit like standing nakid for me. I have a hard time with some of it. Plus I have not been doing too well. 2 trips to the hospital in less than a month is not a good time. I think I am doing better now and they switched up my meds again so hopefully I will stay ok.

I do however now have diabetes so I am trying to deal with that. I am grateful I only had to take the shots for a little while, only when I was in the hospital. Hopefully it will stay that way and the pills will work for me.

So basically having 2 manic episodes and blood sugar problems have made my moods extremely messed up as of late. Hope I can get settled down and do better.

whats your "other faith" symbol mean?

Loven God · Feb 4, 2014

You are in my prayers and I hope you keep getting better .

Hopes · Feb 5, 2014

HIM_In_Me_In_HIM said:
whats your "other faith" symbol mean?

Honestly I don't know. I am not sure how those get there. Maybe cause I am non denominational?

Hopes · Feb 5, 2014

Loven God said:
You are in my prayers and I hope you keep getting better .

Thanks I really could use prayers. Its been pretty bad. Two hospital stays then with this last one they found the diabetes and I spent most of that time having to learn to give myself shots in the tummy. I was so grateful when they said they thought it could be controlled with only the pills. Hope it stays that way.

The last manic episode started after I fasted to try and get closer to God. I didn't know I had diabetes or I would not have fasted. So I think not eating for several days (4) probably had something to do with it. I just hope I stay stable now. Kind of tired of being in the hospital. Thank you for your prayers.

Loven God · Feb 5, 2014

Hospitals are not my fav places too . You still can fast but not with food . Pick something that you do in your daily life that you can give up but would be hard , like t.v. , reading , a sport , writing something along those lines . I am sure there are other things you can think of too , and my prayers are still with you .

Hopes · Feb 6, 2014

Thanks for telling me about other ways to fast. Next time I will find something else to give up. I had no clue about the diabetes or I probably would not have tried food. Its all moving much too fast, too much to get used to at once, I hope it settles down soon. I hate that uneasy unsettled feeling when everything happens all at once.

I guess I decided what I am going to do with school and I am going back next semester. I had thought about quitting and just going on disability because I am so messed up. I guess that can be plan B if this goes up in flames. I started reading the book An Unquiet Mind and it has given me the gumption to keep trying (at least for now).

Loven God · Feb 7, 2014

Great you will do great in school if you try hard through the hard time , keep hanging in there .

Hopes · Feb 13, 2014

Thanks so much. It just keeps getting better, sometimes I think I am cursed. I had a car accident, I am ok but it scared me so bad I never want to drive again. Maybe I will feel better about it someday but right now I refuse to drive.

I guess I will still go to school, I wish God would let me know something about all this. Some days I just want to work my mini farm and grow all my own food and stay away from all people and just live like that the rest of my life. I just don't do well with people or apparently cars now.

I got nominated for something to go to a foreign country cause of my grades but I didn't want to go. Let the younger ones do that stuff I am too old. Plus I am not in a good state of mind yet. May take a while till I am back to "normal."

Stuff I learned (From a baby Christian)

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