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Struggling with family member (sorry, long)

StLGirl

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So my mother-in-law... her visits have always been a little rough but this last one was the worst. She is the usual you know - critical, treating us like stupid children who don't know how to live, etc. But she's gotten worse and my husband really wants nothing to do with her. He can just let her go and that's that. He says she'll never change and trying to work with her is pointless because she can't see her wrongdoings. But for me it's hard because I want to make her understand she is not the perfect human she thinks she is!

She already has 2 other family members, her other son and her sister, that have nothing to do with her. My husband now wants nothing to do with her except if he happens to answer the phone when she calls he'll talk to her. BUT - she won't call us. She doesn't care - she refuses to talk to the people, apologize, etc. She thinks she is 100% right and a victim, and it's always the other parties fault.

She has in the past talked to her husband (DH's stepfather) about how big my rear-end is, she puts down my family, and everytime I like something she insults it. She got angry at me cause I made a comment how I liked DH's stepmother. Everything is a competition with her - she always has to tell us that she visits us more than my family. She puts down everything we do and every choice we make. She prefers not to stay in our home when she visits but pay out of pocket to stay somewhere because our home is always beneath her.

She isn't good at keeping in touch anyway; she is too self-involved. Her life is all about her - bragging about herself and telling us how everything she does is just the best and how everything everyone else does is just not up to her standards. But she only writes to talk about herself. When we share what is going on in our life she has no interest and ignores it. She doesn't even remember DH's birthday - ever.

DH tells me of course she has no self-esteem. It's so easy for him to just let it go. Since we live far away and she has too much pride to call, we have no contact with her - we have no chance of seeing her for at least 2 years or more. So she's not in our life and it makes it easier. It just eats me up inside though, how she is. She is just mean and vile and I know it sounds like the typical MIL but she isn't just that way to me - it's not a matter of no woman good enough for my baby - she is mean to my DH too! She thinks she is a loving, perfect woman and anyone who disagrees is a bad, mean person. I swear she thinks everyone should bow down and thank God just for her allowing them to be in her presence.

So I pray to be able to let this go... I admit I have a lot of anger for her and I feel like I want to get it off my chest. I want to put the past behind me. I admit it's wrong but I want to put her in her place and make her see how she behaves. I don't think I can do that. I'm glad she isn't in our life and we don't have to see/hear from her, but I dwell on this so much... how she makes us feel... I hate it. Aside from praying, does anyone have any advice? I think I'm going to pray about it even more. I need peace and for it to not stress me.
 

Criada

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Don't have a lot of advice, sweetie.. except keep giving it to God..
It isn't up to us to change anyone, only He can do that.. and sometimes that can be very frustrating, I know. But, the important thing is not to let it eat you up, or allow yourself to become bitter.
Just keep praying for her... and praise God that she isn't a big part of your life!
 
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