Lee, for awhile, seeing the length of your reply frightened me coz it is kinda short relatively and I thought you were gettign tired and fed up with me but thanks at least I know the reason why u wrote less that you normally would, u wanted to spend more time praying for me...Tq my dear!
Well, knowing abt something is so different abt really doing the right thing, u know? I will hang in there, that is my promise to myself...and I hope that one day that the power of God will cover me and release me from the ugly fangs of fear/anxiety/worry.....I will try not to beat myself up but sometimes, I get so angry at myself, I begin to hate myself terribly and hit myself too! Sigh! Sometime, I see the non-Christians, they look so happy, so normal, so confident of themselves and I ask why am I sufferring in this manner? I feel so tempted to let go man...Just feel like letting go of Jesus........but I know that I doubt that I'd do that coz my fear of God is so much stonger than my lvoe for God which I also realise is so unhealthy man..;-(
sarahbug, I would not be happy knowing that there is another person facing the same issues as me. As I know the pain, the misery, the grief is so terrible and to think that these villains affect and inflict you as well.
I am sorry to hear this but as you said, at least I'm not the only one, right?
Try not to let it get to you so much...at least your worry/fear does not affect your life patterns and cause you to worry abt whether you did something bad or not in the sense that worry is different from having confidence in yourself to know what you did right? Take heart, my dearie