Sorry to intrude... just a quick question!

I've recently been talking and becoming interested in a very sweet, God loving German man. However, i'm starting to realize that we're having some cultural miscommunications. I'm Canadian and he's here... in Canada. I hate having to get a general census of "German" behavior and personality traits, but i'm trying to understand where this guy is coming from better. Any facts or tips on your culture? And even better if you could compare it to what you may know of the North American/ Canadian culture?

This is a difficult question. Just as you "hate having to get a general census of "German" behavior and personality traits", I hate listing any, only for it to turn out they don't apply to your acquaintance at all. Also, while I do know some US-Americans, I don't know any Canadians, so I may be wrong on some common differences.
Also, do you know where abouts in Germany he is from? North, South, West, East? There are different typical mentalities between the regions.

But I'll give it a shot:
1. Germans generally don't smile as frequently as North Americans usually do. Neither do they tend to express and "exaggerate" their emotions as much as we feel North Americans often do. He may thus appear more reserved.
2. Germans tend to use last names far longer then NA do, before getting to a first name basis. Althought this is less pronounced in the younger generations. Also they generally differentiate between friends and acquantances more than NA often do. A friend in Germany is usually someone you already know pretty well and trust.
3. This I realy only know from hearsay, so take it with a large grain of salt: Apparently Americans (US-Americans at least) kiss earlier in a relationship, whereas is Europe kissing is generally taken as a signal that one is ready for further intimacy as well. But I have different experiences with this even with German girls, so maybe this is just a myth.
4. This may be shaky territory for me as well, not being a Christian. But generally European Christians (Protestants at least) have a somewhat different approach to the bible than NA do. As one German bishop put it a few years back, people try to "follow the spirit of the book more than the letter". Meaning, many of the specific biblical rules aren't followed as literally as many NA Christians do. This also applies to things like prematrial sex. Generally I would say, German Christians - as I experienced them - are more concerned about the universal Christian message of love, peace and understanding, as exemplified in the sermon on the mount; and less about about Paul's moralistic teachings.
This may or may not apply to your acqanitance, I don't even know your stance on the matter. But in any case, if you haven't already, it might be a good idea to have a respectfull talk about both your understandings on the Bible, Jesus and being a Christian in general.
5. Also, connected to this: Christianity is much less involved in poitical disputes than it is at least in the USA. I don't know the situation in Canada, though.
Anyway, the dangers of nuclear energy or global warming are much more present in German poltics than traditional family values or abortion (maybe I have a skewed perception of NA politics, though ).
6. Germans generally have a somewhat ambiguous relationship to our home country, mostly due to the Nazi time, which still casts its ugly shadow over our self-perception as Germans. Being proud to be German still reeks of sympathizing with Nazis.
As a result, we often do have a rather low self-esteem concerning our national heritage, while supporting intercultural/international relationships and understanding.
This doesn't mean though that you need to be overly careful about such topics. If at all I'd say most Germans gladly talk about our history and relationship to our home country. Just maybe don't joke about it to be on the safe side.
7. Connected to the above: Germans often exhibit a somewhat strange mixture of being bound to our German roots, and desiring to get away from them. We like our comparatively ordered and neat road traffic, and at the same time complain about Germans being to protective of their cars. We like to travel, preferably to warm places with beaches or where we can go hiking, with not too foreign customs and food. But we do not want to mingle with other Germans while there. We hate our vast and complicated set of laws, yet we couldn't live without it...
8. Speaking about hiking: Germans love to go for a walk, go hiking, go on a camping trip, whatever. Also cycling is very popular here. This is probably especially true for a German who comes to Canada, since extended trips into the vast Canadian countryside are probably the first thing that comes to mind when we thing of Canada.
9. Any kind of charitable donations etc. are generally considered a private matter. Boasting about them, or even publicly announcing them are considered bad taste.
10. Soccer is not! a girl's sport.
11. German pancakes are different from American ones. Still, no-one will probably say no to Canadian maple-syrup
12. sausage is made of animal products only
13. Many Germans aren't too fond of white bread, especially the kind sandwiches are usually made of (such bread is only good for toast). Germans are used to a range of more "wholesome" breads (rye breads, multi-grain breads, etc. up to pumpernickel).
Pure white bread is welcome in breakfast buns, though.
14. Other than the bread, Germans are generally open to international cuisine, especially Italian, Greek and maybe Chinese.
15. Do you have marmite or something similar? if so, warn him about it first. I once misunderstood and thought I would get a marmelade bread. Not a pleasant surprise...

Ok, lol, that got a little longer than I thought it would. Well, maybe you can find some things in there that can help you, most are probably non-issues though.
If you have any particular issues or questions I am of course glad to help as well as I can.

I am second generation German living in Canada and have also dated a lot of others in different cultures so I understand how important it is to understand each others cultures.

Sitting up straight, wearing good clothes and being clean has always been important to my family. It's like they had high class manners when they had mid or low class money. I took German in grade 8 and practiced it with my mom when I got home. She almost went lived on my teacher for teaching me low German pronunciations. Not a big deal to me but to my family it was!

Taking care of family and sticking together has always been important. When a dinner is cooked for guests, there is double the amount of food needed.

Pride can be mistaken as arrogance.

On a personal note, I know my mother growing up had to attend German classes on Saturday's and she hated that. In school, if classmates found out she was German they would harass her as if she was responsibly for what Hitler did in the war. Even I have some of the same difficulties. I had a friend for years who found out I was German and never talked to me again. I have had strangers physically come at me when they heard I am German. Because of what my mom went through she never cooked German food or brought me up in any of the culture. This made me feel so much apart from everyone and like I didn't belong anywhere.

One thing I say and sort of joke about is Germans are passionate. We passionately love and passionately hate. Things are hot or cold, right or wrong but nothing is ever in between.

What kind of cultural differences are you noticing?

Beechwell said:

4. This may be shaky territory for me as well, not being a Christian. But generally European Christians (Protestants at least) have a somewhat different approach to the bible than NA do. As one German bishop put it a few years back, people try to "follow the spirit of the book more than the letter". Meaning, many of the specific biblical rules aren't followed as literally as many NA Christians do. This also applies to things like prematrial sex. Generally I would say, German Christians - as I experienced them - are more concerned about the universal Christian message of love, peace and understanding, as exemplified in the sermon on the mount; and less about about Paul's moralistic teachings.
This may or may not apply to your acqanitance, I don't even know your stance on the matter. But in any case, if you haven't already, it might be a good idea to have a respectfull talk about both your understandings on the Bible, Jesus and being a Christian in general.

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2nd Gen. German living in US here. This is 100% true, for my family at least. My parents and grandparents were raised in Germany as Presbyterians and are considered very liberal here in America. They taught me to consider the bible as a jumping off point and to look to the parables of Jesus as an example. Not to take every word literally as many conservative Christians in the US do. I didn't know this was a German thing though, I thought it was a Presbyterian thing. Still, if Beechwell says it's common in Germany than maybe it is a German thing. Good to know.

lanieloo said:

2nd Gen. German living in US here. This is 100% true, for my family at least. My parents and grandparents were raised in Germany as Presbyterians and are considered very liberal here in America. They taught me to consider the bible as a jumping off point and to look to the parables of Jesus as an example. Not to take every word literally as many conservative Christians in the US do. I didn't know this was a German thing though, I thought it was a Presbyterian thing. Still, if Beechwell says it's common in Germany than maybe it is a German thing. Good to know.

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I think it's mostly a European protestantism vs. American Protestantism thing. Not exclusively German, although I don't really know the situation in other North-European countries well enough to be sure.

I'm guessing the reason for this difference has to do with the unique history of European settlers in America, but it may also have roots in the English strand of Protestantism, I dunno.

Beechwell said:

I'm guessing the reason for this difference has to do with the unique history of European settlers in America, but it may also have roots in the English strand of Protestantism, I dunno.

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That makes sense. I appreciate the insight. I often find myself at odds with many American Protestant Christians. The fact that European and American Christianity often differ is a good idea as to why.

lanieloo said:

That makes sense. I appreciate the insight. I often find myself at odds with many American Protestant Christians. The fact that European and American Christianity often differ is a good idea as to why.

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Bitte schreibe nur auf Deutsch hier. Die Regeln (CF-rules) sagen: "German A new forum in GERMAN only."

Danke!

Es sind zwar die Regeln, aber ich denke dieses Forum ist das einzige, wo man so eine Frage stellen kann, da es sehr wahrscheinlich ist, dass hier einige Deutsche früher oder später auftauchen.
Und es geht ja nicht nur um die Sprache, sondern auch um die Kultur in den deutschsprachigen Ländern hier.
Und dieser Thread ist wirklich nicht der einzige, der auf Englisch ist.