So young and so lost

My dear sister, I cannot say I completely understand your pain, but I do understand your guilt and doubt. Let's read something together:This is one of Christ's greatest promises, "that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10:9) That faith in Christ can come at any time, but that faith is not something you or I can ever be certain of for anyone but ourselves. God, on the other hand, "searches all hearts and understands all the intent of the thoughts" (1 Chronicles 28:9), and so God will know if the young man's heart truly sought forgiveness. By the sound of his recent visit to his father, it sounds like he was trying to come back. Hold fast to that thought, that despite rumors about dark things, the young man still remembered his Lord, and so at the end he sought forgiveness.

On another front, you did the right thing by excluding him from his children's lives until he could at least start to get his act together. It's a fine line to walk between wanting men to be involved in their kids' lives and wanting those same men to show some responsibility for themselves before we trust them with their own kids. I believe you made the right choice at the time.

Yes, we always wish we could have done things differently, wondering if our actions could have stopped that death, stopped that fall from grace, stopped that train wreck of a life. We cannot live others' lives for them, the best we can do is help them stay on the path as best we know how, ministering to them and intervening when we can. As a young mother, you have plenty on your plate, and there will be lots of "what-if" scenarios you will wonder about. Forget them all. It is cliche to say, but what's done is done, and the only words you could have spoken to stop that bullet would have to have been to the person with the gun, not to the father of your children. That is small consolation, I know, but it is true.

Honor the legacy you believe your children could have had by keeping them safe and raising them right. Teach your children the value of human life -- especially their own -- and teach them to love the Lord God. There may come a time when you can explain their father's death to them, but remember to use their father's earlier life as a model and his death as a warning beacon. And always remind them that despite the many temptations of sin, we always have a choice -- and that choosing God means choosing life.

May the grace of God bring you healing during this time. Grief is never easy, never pretty. But grief does eventually give way to joy in life. Give it time and cling to Christ's promise on the Cross: "Today you will be with Me in Paradise."

I dont know can someone whos lost there path come back right at the end and still be welcome into the kingdom of GOD

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Yes they can.

It's not fair that someone can live their whole adult life as a Christian and receive the same reward as someone who decides at the moment of death to accept Christ.

It's not fair ... Thank God.

I'm glad that God's not going to treat me as I deserve (sinner that I am). He's going to look into my heart and see Jesus, and He's going to share the inheritence with me. I'm going to be a joint heir with Christ to everything Christ deserves by right.

It's going to be shared with me because God will look into my heart and see Jesus. Everything else is irrelevent (how long Christ has been in my heart, what denomination I am ... all irrelevent).

Not fair ... Thank God.

you know, there is a day when God will judge us all according to the things we have done. God will judge him at that time. Until then, pray that God will have mercy on him. God is love. He is very merciful. and if the kids ask, I think that would be a good thing to explain to them. Find a good work, like visiting old people in the nursing home, it will help you a lot, keeping you moving in a positive way, and they are so grateful just to see anyone.