Should You Endlessly Search For Your Spouse

songz777 · May 8, 2004

Hello again.
My question is, should we endlessly search for our spouse, i mean trudging from one church to another, going to endless meetings in other churches which we may not want to to do but feel "well If I dont I miss Gods best""
Or should we / I allow God to guide to a place, situation?
Should I be on the look out "seeking" but not actually being obessesed by searching?
You see I live in a small town, and there aint any one my age in many of the other meetings / churches, all I can do it seems is, be available to Gods leading to a particualr place. Be on a christian dating sight, or trust Him that I being in the way He led me.
Ive got people praying for me and looking out for me.
Most people I know have met their spouse by ""chance"" none of them actually said I trudged around from church to church meeting to meeting, to find them. People say I must go and search but is that rigjht?
If Gods ordained a set date for me to meet her, I would have wasted 1000s hours when I could have been doing more postive things.
What do you do?
All I know is the thought of trashing around from church to church would completly wear me down and discourage me.
I am a shy person, and going to new places is hard.
Some people seek and you will find, but is that right? should it not be, be in Gods will and if He prompts you to go somewhere do so?
I cant see any where in the bible where men or woman went out and searched for a spouse, it seems they all were led, by lifes circumstances,
Whats your view?
Please help;
Take care thanks JOHN

london boy · May 8, 2004

Hi John

My advice is read Genesis 2:20b-25. This is where God creates Eve. What state is Adam in? He's sleeping. How to interpret this? When we have peace in this area of our lives, then God will work in our lives to mould us, make us the person that someone wants to commit their lives to. When we stop searching, He concludes the search. Give your desires to Him. The idea of going to place to place looking searching isn't the best idea, though I can understand why you may think this. I would advise against this as will only lead to disappointment. Believe me, I've been there, mate. God sees how strong your desires are. Trust in him fully and it will come, He will make it all possible - Although I am still single, I have and have had strong desires to be in a relationship. It's only over the last year or so, that a friend of mine gave me the above explanation - it's something that comforted me a great deal. I now have great peace and contentment with this part of my life because I know He's prepared the right woman as He knows us down to the bone and has the perfect plan for everyone.

Take care
God Bless

Daniel

HoT-MetaL · May 8, 2004

Amen London Boy, good post.

Im down in Maidstone btw, not far from you.

songz777, my bro has just met the woman of God he's gonna marry. They've known eachother for like 18months now, I knew her for like 3years, but its been just this week that God revealed to them that theyre meant to be together.

In the space of three days, my bro and his girl, were prophesised to by two people who didnt know them, and had just arrived in England. one was a guy called Louis Els, from South Africa, I cant remember the other guys name. But on Monday Louis prophesised to them, and on Thursday another guy randomly prophesised to them, saying "When you two sit together, you could present Jesus."

Do you see how God took over, they didnt do anythign!

God Bless, meteal.

songz777 · May 8, 2004

Wow great posts chaps and big encouragement to me .. thanks so much .. its of the Lord what you have said Bless you JOHN

Mr.Cheese · May 10, 2004

I would forget about basing things on a search for a girl.
Enjoy life.

plum · May 10, 2004

I don't understand why we should "search" at all. I think that, at least in my life, displays a mistrust in God's plan. I feel that our responsibility is to prepare ourselves for being marriagable. That's it.

GeorgiaGuy · May 10, 2004

missju said:
I don't understand why we should "search" at all. I think that, at least in my life, displays a mistrust in God's plan. I feel that our responsibility is to prepare ourselves for being marriagable. That's it.

Let me be the first to say that what you're saying is more applicable to the life of a woman than for a man. Unless you're extremely obese or have unusual facial features, or if you have some type of disability, sooner or later you're going to have men ask you out for a date. Many, in most instances.

For a man, it's not the same. Women don't ask us out for dates. They often don't show interest in a man. They usually don't actively seek out a mate. Thus, what is a man to do? A woman isn't going to fall right into his lap. He's got to get out there and search for a mate. Do you honestly think that if a person spends their whole life sitting in their house that they're going to find a mate? God gave us the ability to find someone, and through seeking, He will send us our partners. Again, as previously stated, a woman can go throughout her day, unless she has one of the above characteristics, and not have to seek out a man. Yet, roughly all men, unless he is rich, has some form of "power" in some aspect of life, or if he has a distinguished profession, is not going to have women constantly warming up to his side. He's got to make it happen.

HoosierCanuck · May 10, 2004

I don't see anything wrong with keeping your eyes open to the possibilities but I wouldn't make it my life's mission to 'seek' the way you're describing. I would first make sure you are at the church God wants you to be at....you never know, the woman for you may be church-shopping herself and end up there. You mentioned being shy, I think if you are where God wants you, He will enable you to overcome that shyness...even if it's only to ask the woman out.

X-Cel · May 10, 2004

I'm not really searching for a girl, but if one that catches my eye happens to cross my path.....hey hey hey.....look out!

GeorgiaGuy · May 10, 2004

Is that the guy from the Cider House Rules, Pleasantville and Spider Man in that picture above?

X-Cel · May 10, 2004

No, I'm not. I am much better looking.

Xen_Antares · May 10, 2004

You look ALOT like my cousin when he was your age, hes in his mid to late 30s now and is getting a little gray though. If thats any indication of your future you might want to invest into some hair coloring.

songz777 · May 11, 2004

HoosierCanuck said:
I don't see anything wrong with keeping your eyes open to the possibilities but I wouldn't make it my life's mission to 'seek' the way you're describing. I would first make sure you are at the church God wants you to be at....you never know, the woman for you may be church-shopping herself and end up there. You mentioned being shy, I think if you are where God wants you, He will enable you to overcome that shyness...even if it's only to ask the woman out.

missju said:
I don't understand why we should "search" at all. I think that, at least in my life, displays a mistrust in God's plan. I feel that our responsibility is to prepare ourselves for being marriagable. That's it.

Thats a good answer Missju thanks and also Hoosiercanuck, a real help, Im not searchinghigh or low for my spouse Im preparing for her praying and looking out. I tend to go to group events for fellowship and fun and i f I meet here there then cool, if not thas fine. From what i have read from other postings in marriage section, all the folks there met their spouse by ""Chance"" as we may say, they never searched / hunted etc, so I guess thats the line I should be taking.
Be in Gods will, seek Him first then things will be added.
Bless you all JOHN

DontWorryBeHappy · May 11, 2004

X-Cel said:
No, I'm not. I am much better looking.

I just looked at your profile- I love the astronaut for sale picture. I'm shocked that you have time to be here with all the ladies that are lining up for a chance to talk to you.

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