Sharing your time...

Mrs. Luther073082 · Aug 11, 2007

How much time per day do you typically spend with your significant other? At what point do you think a couple is spending too much time together?

somethingBEAUTIFUL · Aug 11, 2007

Well, when I had a significant other, we typically would see each other 3 or 4 times a week. Our schedules always differed for one thing, but I didn't usually have the desire to see him everyday either. Sure I wanted to talk to him on the phone, but it wasn't a big deal if I didn't get to lay eyes on him every single day. When we did see each other, it was usually something like this: We would go out on, say, Friday night to dinner and whatever. Saturday might be hanging out watching a movie or with friends/family. Sunday we might visit one another's church and get something to eat afterwards. During the middle of the week if we saw each other, it would be because he dropped by my work for a minute, or while on his way home to visit for an hour or so.

To me, too much time is being spent together when you get the feeling that, simply, that you need a little space. I've felt like that before. Just space simply for myself, like to do some laundry, or watch a TV show alone, or visit with my mom, or read my Bible or a book. I love time with others, but I also love and NEED my alone time too, and I will get cranky, and then frustrated, if I don't get it.

Sorry if that was a bit long. But that's from me and my experience. Remember it's important to talk to your SO if you're feeling like you're spending too little or too much time together too.

Mrs. Luther073082 · Aug 11, 2007

Out of curiosity, how often did you all talk on the phone?

somethingBEAUTIFUL · Aug 11, 2007

In my last relationship, we talked every single day on the phone without fail. He did a lot more of the calling than me, which I liked. We would talk for 10-20 minutes on my lunch break (I have an hour) most days during the week. Every night we talked around an hour before bed. In the very beginning, we were known to have conversations that lasted 2 and nearly 3 hours! But that happens less frequently as you get to know one another better I think. Then on Saturdays and Sundays, whether we saw each other or not, we generally spent 30 minutes to an hour on the phone.

And yes, most of this time is spent actively talking about some sort of meaningful thing! It amazed me constantly the things we could find to yak about.

Briseis · Aug 11, 2007

I see my bf about twice a week, sometimes once. At the moment he is away for the summer, but I usually see him all of Saturday, and then one other day during the week when we usually go to a movie. We talk on the phone maybe 10 mins one other day and talk on MSN for a few minutes almost every night. I would definitely like to see him more, but he is still in school so he doesnt have a lot of time.

Weasel7711 · Aug 11, 2007

right now its only for a few days once every 3 weeks
when she moves to my town it will hopefully be for at least a few hours a day, of course not all the time because of work/school but I love being around her

Mrs. Luther073082 · Aug 11, 2007

Weasel7711 said:
right now its only for a few days once every 3 weeks
when she moves to my town it will hopefully be for at least a few hours a day, of course not all the time because of work/school but I love being around her

Do you all talk on the phone and IM a lot?

catofhope · Aug 12, 2007

Randy and I do not IM.
Being in a LDR we spend time on the phone...
typically one day a week of course that night it could be 4 hours at a time.
We also PM and/or email nearly daily.

Weasel7711 · Aug 12, 2007

maycontainnuts said:
Do you all talk on the phone and IM a lot?

yeah its usually about 1-2 hours at least every night on the phone

her brother is also in an LDR, much longer distance than us, so sometimes he is on the phone so we will talk on IM in that case

Extronic · Aug 12, 2007

Every day, and normally all day if I could, lately we have had some work to do, so only for an hour or so at the moment, still every day though.

Mrs. Luther073082 · Aug 12, 2007

I guess the amount of time I am spending on the phone and the webcam isn't "too much", then. It is pretty close to what everyone else has said they do. I mean I enjoy it but I'm just not used to talking on the phone so much. I used to HATE talking on the phone and now I do it everyday so it is weird. (To clarify I meant I hated talking on the phone in general, not to any particular person). One good thing that has come out of this is at least being on the phone doesn't make me uncomfortable anymore.

Princess Leia · Aug 12, 2007

This summer I've seen my bf every day, but once I go back to school it'll be more like every other weekend or so. We'll talk on the phone and IM a lot though.

Bunnymedic · Aug 12, 2007

somethingBEAUTIFUL said:
To me, too much time is being spent together when you get the feeling that, simply, that you need a little space. I've felt like that before. Just space simply for myself, like to do some laundry, or watch a TV show alone, or visit with my mom, or read my Bible or a book. I love time with others, but I also love and NEED my alone time too, and I will get cranky, and then frustrated, if I don't get it..

I used to feel this way in past relationships but I dont with my fiance.
I could spend all day everyday with him and not feel frustrated and cranky that we were spending too much time togther.
Although,I do think that for some people,there is time that needs to be 'alone time'.Its kind of person dependent...

Most of the reason I liked my alone time in the past was because the other person didnt want to do the things I wanted to do.Then if I did them anyway,they would get annoyed and it just made things unpleasant for me.

For instance,I like to work out alot.I would like my SO to come with me,but if I worked out longer than they liked (or they simply didnt want to work out that day)
they would start whining and getting impatient,Then I wished I just went by myself.
Also,I would prefer to shop alone if the other person doesnt like to shop.Theres nothing worse than being excited to go by new clothes and feel like you are dragging your SO around the stores with you,bored out of their minds.

I would love to share all my hobbies and interests with my fiance,but if he isnt interested thats ok with me.

tessas212 · Aug 12, 2007

maycontainnuts said:
I guess the amount of time I am spending on the phone and the webcam isn't "too much", then. It is pretty close to what everyone else has said they do. I mean I enjoy it but I'm just not used to talking on the phone so much. I used to HATE talking on the phone and now I do it everyday so it is weird. (To clarify I meant I hated talking on the phone in general, not to any particular person). One good thing that has come out of this is at least being on the phone doesn't make me uncomfortable anymore.

Are we twins!? Lol

I used to hate talking on phones, and has a bit of "phone phobia"as I call it. Talking to my boyfriend on the phone has helped me get over this as well.

Mrs. Luther073082 · Aug 12, 2007

tessas212 said:
Are we twins!? Lol

I used to hate talking on phones, and has a bit of "phone phobia"as I call it. Talking to my boyfriend on the phone has helped me get over this as well.

Actually, yeah, I hate talking on the phone even to order something or make an appointment or call the school, etc. Jeremy got me to call him because we made a bet on a football game last year and if my team lost, I was supposed to call. My team won, but I called anyway. It made me sort of nervous at first (and him too) but then we started talking all the time.

I still hate talking on the phone to strangers, though.

Beautiful Fireball · Aug 12, 2007

I see my bf 2-3 days per week (always the weekend). Which is pretty good considering we are almost 200 miles apart. We talk on the phone every night before bed for about an hour to an hour and a half and text each other throughout the day. Also, if its the middle of the day and we are both online then we usually talk on AIM to.

So we spend quite a lot of time together, though not all of it physically obviously, and I'm pretty content with the way things are. But I can't wait till I am living closer to him, which should be within the next couple of weeks! Then the times that we physically see each other will most likely increase.

Luther073082 · Aug 12, 2007

Keri and I talk usually at least 30 min a day if not more. Its even tougher for us because we have 3 things working against us.

1. Distance (Indiana and California are far away)
2. Time Zone, I'm on eastern time she's on pacific time
3. Work schedules.
I work 8 to 4:30 est M-F on my job
Keri on the other hand works 2 pm to 11:15 pacific time
Friday through Tuesday. (Wed and Thurs off)

If you translate her time to Eastern time she is working 5 pm to 2:15 am EST.

So we do the best we can with the work schedules and stuff. Plus with the time zone thing and the fact that Keri is a late sleeper by the time she rolls out of bed I only have but 2 and a half hours til I get off of work.

She is hoping come over for thanksgiving and that is probably the next time we see eachother. I really want to get a job in Cali asap.

Mrs. Luther073082 · Aug 13, 2007

Thanksgiving doesn't seem very far away at all. I can't believe how fast this year has gone by.

Weasel7711 · Aug 13, 2007

If my fiance developed a skill and desire to play Tom Clancy games with me, I think I would just lose it.

But seriously, we share a lot of interests and I would have no problem doing almost everything together (grocery shopping, cooking, working out, watching tv, whatever). I think everyone needs some alone time, its just natural, but most of my time I would like to share when I am a closer distance to her and after we are married.

Luther073082 · Aug 13, 2007

maycontainnuts said:
Thanksgiving doesn't seem very far away at all. I can't believe how fast this year has gone by.

It feels like ages for us. . .

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