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Nobody has to do anything but see how happy or how long your marriage will last if you decide sex is not a priority or if you snub your partner at things they like sexually some people may suffer with it for 23 years like bootstrap and others may call BS after 6 months to a year, and what do you mean by "or else", or else your husband will kill you, not likely, he will probably leave but you dont "need" a husband just like your husband does not "need" sex right, so what does it matter? If sex were not a need people would go after it like they do food or water, I agree its not a need for your physical body to live for the day but its been proven sex dramaticly reduces your chances of prostate cancer so I would say sex is a need just like vitamins or minerals, I dont have to get all my iorn in any given day but if I do that long enough it will kill me.
You can either be a person that is bitter all the time and a man hater or you can be positive and do things to make your life better. If you dont want to be sexual then why get married, just to have the tax write off?
I would respond more fully to the above if it were coherent ...
Could you perhaps take a deep breath and try again? Punctuation helps too.
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Nobody has to do anything but see how happy or how long your marriage will last if you decide sex is not a priority or if you snub your partner at things they like sexually some people may suffer with it for 23 years like bootstrap and others may call BS after 6 months to a year, and what do you mean by "or else", or else your husband will kill you, not likely, he will probably leave but you dont "need" a husband just like your husband does not "need" sex right, so what does it matter?
its been proven sex dramaticly reduces your chances of prostate cancer so I would say sex is a need just like vitamins or minerals, I dont have to get all my iorn in any given day but if I do that long enough it will kill me.
You can either be a person that is bitter all the time and a man hater
or you can be positive and do things to make your life better.
If you dont want to be sexual then why get married, just to have the tax write off?
Considering that I might be waiting awhile for a response to this request, I'll go ahead and work with what I've got. Here goes:
Circumstances don't make you who you are -- they reveal who you are. Therefore, if a man leaves his family because he's not getting it from his wife, it was most likely part of his internal makeup to leave at some point anyway, for one reason or another.
I dont think this is true, 1cor clearly states that by withholding from them you can lead them into temptation. I agree some people leave for entirely different reasons but if he communicates that the sex is lacking and its causing him problems and the wife does nothing about it she shares in the responsibility for him leaving.
It's also been proven that the key factors to prostate cancer prevention reside in one's diet. So I would recommend that, if someone finds he has prostate cancer, he refrain from guilt-tripping his low-drive wife and instead review what he's been eating.
I dont disagree, this was probably not the most relavant thing for me to bring up.
Why on earth would you recommend either of those options?
That's better -- Exactly! If more people would put their violins down and change their attitudes, the sex thing wouldn't be such a big deal to them.
Changing your attitude to be positive does not correlate to sex not being a big deal. I was think along the lines of saying hey my wife is fridged so instead of being unhappy im going to go somewhere else. People dont will there hormones away.
1. In case you haven't noticed, one doesn't have to be married to "be sexual". They should wait till they're married, but, in reality, many don't.
I dont disagree
2. Many have indulged in sex before they married, and the person they married was only one of a long string of partners. I repeat the question I asked before: If sex were the relational super-glue that everyone makes it out to be, why are there one-night stands? Why aren't people marrying the very first person they have sex with if it's presence is such the deal-maker (and it's absence such the deal-breaker) in all relationships across the board?
There are things that are important other than sex but in my opinion sex is the foundation of the cake
3. I have to wonder what I'm dealing with in a individual who appears to see only 2 reasons to get married: sex and tax write-offs.
In my opinion the only difference between a spouse and a very good deep best friend is sex. All the other aspects of a relationship can be seen in friendships except sex (unless you are a friend with benifits type of thing but that is a seperate issue). Tax write offs are the only other thing I could think of so if you were not getting married to have sex be a very important part of that marriage you have to wonder because the only other thing that seperates a deep friendship from a spouse is tax write offs so if you dident want to have sex with your husband on a regular basis why dident you just keep him as a friend then you could have that relationship without the sex and he would be free to find someone who is a freak in the sheets.
1 Cor 7:5 states, “Do not withhold yourselves from each other unless you agree to do so just for a set time, in order to devote yourselves to prayer. Then you should come together again so that Satan does not tempt you through your lack of self-control.”I dont think this is true, 1cor clearly states that by withholding from them you can lead them into temptation.
Only to the extent that he has placed importance on the presence of sex. If he goes into the relationship with the idea that the absence of sex is relationally deadly, this idea will bring on complications to the relationship. Likewise, if she goes into the marriage thinking that sex shouldn’t be there at all, she’s going to encounter complications stemming from that idea. Anytime reality conflicts with our personal ideals or expectations, we experience frustration. Fortunately, expectations are easier to change than reality is!I agree some people leave for entirely different reasons but if he communicates that the sex is lacking and its causing him problems and the wife does nothing about it she shares in the responsibility for him leaving.
Nor do they will their hormones to arrive. A person who is married to the idea that they are entitled to have sex, and/or that sex is a “need”, is clinging to notions that are only going to bring them frustration in the end when the thing they’ve valued so highly is not available to them. The grief isn’t coming from the absence of sex, it’s coming from its having been placed on too high of a pedestal to begin with.Changing your attitude to be positive does not correlate to sex not being a big deal. I was think along the lines of saying hey my wife is fridged so instead of being unhappy im going to go somewhere else. People dont will there hormones away.
Sex is just too fragile to act as a foundation. One minute it's there, the next minute it's not. Ideally, the foundation of a Christian marriage is God. As a foundation, He’s less likely to crumble due to hormonal imbalances, medications, or, heaven forbid, outright paralysis.There are things that are important other than sex but in my opinion sex is the foundation of the cake
That’s only if both spouses involved were virgins when they married.In my opinion the only difference between a spouse and a very good deep best friend is sex.
I do think that those who have had friends-with-benefits prior to marriage forfeit their right to complain (or at least, their right to be taken very seriously if they do complain) if sex is lacking in their marriages, for that very reason.All the other aspects of a relationship can be seen in friendships except sex (unless you are a friend with benifits type of thing but that is a seperate issue).
There are other things besides tax write offs and sex that a guy can enjoy from his marriage, and which he doesn’t get elsewhere: Coming home to a home-cooked meal, free daycare for his kids (his wife stays at home and raises them herself), his laundry cleaned and folded, his house dusted and vacuumed, his phone calls intercepted, and – what seems most challenging for over half the marriages out there, including “Christian” ones – someone who is willing to stick around and be an all-around good companion until-death-do-us-part, as promised.Tax write offs are the only other thing I could think of so if you were not getting married to have sex be a very important part of that marriage you have to wonder because the only other thing that seperates a deep friendship from a spouse is tax write offs
I'm going to be a bit explicit here in my examples, so skip over if you're sensitive.
Ok. There are many different areas of interests in the fields of sex. Two different people may be into totally different things. For example: I like being held down, and my boyfriend likes being bitten. (Not down there!!! Oh gosh!)
People who like different things are going to get into conflicts over what to do in bed. This can eventually lead to a breakup. Sex is important.
1 Cor 7:5 states, Do not withhold yourselves from each other unless you agree to do so just for a set time, in order to devote yourselves to prayer. Then you should come together again so that Satan does not tempt you through your lack of self-control.
If we burn with passion the bible tells us to marry to quench that passion, but if your spouse does not want it then what? Also sexual neglect is a form of abandonment which is justified for divorce, why would a man want to stay with someone who is a stumbling block for them to fall into temptation?
Its whats inside the person that gives Satan the foothold, not the circumstances themselves. Someone who puts a premium on sex is going to be more of a target than someone who could take it or leave it.
The external circumstances (in this case, no sex) are the same for both spouses. In a situation where one spouse "has to" have sex and the other doesn't have to have it, Satan's target will be the former, using their lack of self-control. The spouse that can live without the sex isn't going to prove much of a target for Satan, as they can't very well be tempted to do something they could live without anyway. The trouble lies in the over-valuing of sex.
Sex is more important to some than others, but I like the adage, "sex is like air its not a big deal until your not getting any". If the sexual compatibilty is there then it wont be a big deal but if one spouse is denying the other you are opening yourself up for a lot of problems.
Therefore, circumstances dont make us, they reveal us. Pauls statements dont clash at all with this aspect of how the mind works.
Remember too that Paul wraps up his statements by putting them into the category of a concession (1 Cor 7:6). Hes not commanding any of what he states in the preceding verses. Spouses arent breaking any legal or moral laws if their get-up-and-go somehow got-up-and-went, whether it be for hormonal or medical reasons, etc.
Only to the extent that he has placed importance on the presence of sex. If he goes into the relationship with the idea that the absence of sex is relationally deadly, this idea will bring on complications to the relationship. Likewise, if she goes into the marriage thinking that sex shouldnt be there at all, shes going to encounter complications stemming from that idea. Anytime reality conflicts with our personal ideals or expectations, we experience frustration. Fortunately, expectations are easier to change than reality is!
Nor do they will their hormones to arrive. A person who is married to the idea that they are entitled to have sex, and/or that sex is a need, is clinging to notions that are only going to bring them frustration in the end when the thing theyve valued so highly is not available to them. The grief isnt coming from the absence of sex, its coming from its having been placed on too high of a pedestal to begin with.
Reality is what you make it, BTW sex is always available but do you really want to push your spouse to that end just because your not in the mood
Sex is just too fragile to act as a foundation. One minute it's there, the next minute it's not. Ideally, the foundation of a Christian marriage is God. As a foundation, Hes less likely to crumble due to hormonal imbalances, medications, or, heaven forbid, outright paralysis.
Thats only if both spouses involved were virgins when they married.Then, yes, sex would be the one element in their relationship that theyve never shared with anyone else. Unfortunately, sex is commonly thrown around like free cookies before any settling-down is even considered, so by the time a person finds their spouse, theyve already indulged in the sexual side of things with heaven knows how many other people. So, in many cases, something other than sex (a nice pair of cufflinks, perhaps? ) will have to set their relationship to each other apart from the relationships theyve had with others.
This is another reason I am amazed at the dirges being sung by the "deprived" over the lack of sex in marriage. More times than not it seems it was never a unique element in their relationship to begin with, so I'm busy wondering just what the fuss is all about.
I do think that those who have had friends-with-benefits prior to marriage forfeit their right to complain (or at least, their right to be taken very seriously if they do complain) if sex is lacking in their marriages, for that very reason.
If sex is so special that its absence is a sign of doom for a marriage, then why wasnt it reserved for marriage in the first place?
Or, what was the presence of sex in all those other premarital relationships a sign of, if it's absence is so awful in a marriage?
I'm being (just a little) facetious when I say this, but, heck, nowadays, if people really want to set their relationships with their spouses apart from their other romantic relationships, they should deliberately vow not to have sex with their spouse.
Seriously though, since the presence of sex often does absolutely nothing to solidify premarital romantic relationships, why should we be so quick to conclude that the absence of sex spells doom for a marriage?
Just because you have had sexual relations in the past does not change the currant need for sex.
There are other things besides tax write offs and sex that a guy can enjoy from his marriage, and which he doesnt get elsewhere: Coming home to a home-cooked meal, free daycare for his kids (his wife stays at home and raises them herself), his laundry cleaned and folded, his house dusted and vacuumed, his phone calls intercepted, and what seems most challenging for over half the marriages out there, including Christian ones someone who is willing to stick around and be an all-around good companion until-death-do-us-part, as promised.
All that other stuff believe it or not guys can do for them selves, those things are nice but without a great sex life they do not hold much meaning because the one thing you cant do by yourself very pleasurably your not getting.
It's one of those "YMMV" things I guess.
Like anything, to the extent that one overemphasizes the importance of something, that's how much pain and frustration they will bring down on themselves if that thing is missing. That's why it's vital to be very selective about that to which we hand over such power of importance. (Believe me, this isn't something I learned overnight either, it was a long, hard lesson, LOL!).
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Ok. There are many different areas of interests in the fields of sex. Two different people may be into totally different things. For example: I like being held down, and my boyfriend likes being bitten. (Not down there!!! Oh gosh!)
too much info..this isn't a kinky sex site. if you get off on describing your sins, I suggest a bondage site. ask yourself what would jesus do. "Hmm, I'll tell everyone how i like to get my feet licked." I think not!
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