Self-worth

Silver-winged Flyer · Mar 19, 2006

Does anybody else hate themselves so much that they don't believe they have anything good inside? No matter what anybody tells them they can't believe it?

I'm not looking for advice, just want to know if anybody's in the same boat.
Some people have tried to help and I appreciate their efforts but nothing works.

rfprewitt · Mar 19, 2006

AllTalkNoAction · Mar 20, 2006

Actually you have a precious realisation that you are not as you should be ..

"For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not . . . But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
(Romans 7vv18, 23)

There are 2 laws that rule humans:-
1) the law of sin & death
2) the law of the Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus

Anyone not living the new life given at Pentecost is under law (1).

Have you received this:-
"they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance." ?

Silver-winged Flyer · Mar 20, 2006

AllTalkNoAction said:
Actually you have a precious realisation that you are not as you should be ..

"For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not . . . But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
(Romans 7vv18, 23)

There are 2 laws that rule humans:-
1) the law of sin & death
2) the law of the Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus

Anyone not living the new life given at Pentecost is under law (1).

Have you received this:-
"they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance." ?

I'm a christian so I have the Holy Spirit to help and guide me. I don't need a visible sign eg. speaking in tongues etc, to prove that the Holy Spirit is helping me.

Silver-winged Flyer · Mar 20, 2006

rfprewitt said:
I do

It's nice to know somebody understands how I feel.

shoutuntogod · Mar 20, 2006

I know exactly how you feel...I feel that way every minute of every day. The only thing I hold onto is that we are of great value to God, otherwise we wouldn't be here, and above all, Jesus would not have died for us. It's a hard concept to grasp when our own self-worth is so low...I don't know. I pray that God will help us see the worth in us that he created.

rfprewitt · Mar 20, 2006

No problem

Hidden face_Hurting heart · Mar 20, 2006

I feel the same way too.

Mskedi · Mar 20, 2006

There was a time when I did.

I am glad to say that that part of my life is over. I hope you get out of it in time, too.

Silver-winged Flyer · Mar 22, 2006

Mskedi said:
There was a time when I did.

I am glad to say that that part of my life is over. I hope you get out of it in time, too.

Did something happen that changed the way you saw yourself?

thenewageriseth · Mar 22, 2006

I can relate. *nods*

UnitynLove · Mar 23, 2006

If you don't like yourself, you're not going to enjoy life very much. People who don't accept themselves and don't get along with themselves have a difficult time accepting and getting along with other people. The Bible says, "love your neighbor as you love yourself." I personally spent years having a hard time getting along with other people and finally realized through the Word of God that my difficulty with other people was rooted in my difficulties with myself.
The Bible says a good tree will bear good fruit and a rotten tree will bear rotten fruit. The fruit in our lives comes from the roots within us. If you're rooted in shame, guilt, inferiority, rejection, lack of love and acceptance, etc., you will bear bad fruit in your relationship with yourself and others until you get rooted and grounded in God's love. Once you have a revelation that God loves you unconditionally, you will be able to begin to accept yourself and eventually these new roots will produce good fruit in your relationship with other people. Stop for awhile and ask yourself, "How do I feel about myself?"
I want to share 10 tips on how to succeed at being yourself. I believe they will help you. Also, I encourage you to purchase the special Tape Series we are offering this month, which is an in-depth study on "How to Succeed at Being Yourself."
1. Never, Never say negative things about yourselfthings like "I never do anything right. I'll never change. I'm ugly. I look terrible. I'm dumb. Who could ever love me? etc,". Matthew 12:37 says, "...by your words you will be justified..., and by your words you will be condemned..." In other words, however we talk about ourselves is the way we feel about ourselves.
2. Don't meditate (think on) negative things about yourself. Proverbs 23:7 says, "as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he."
3. Speak (as private confessions) good things about yourself. Say something about yourself in line with what the Word says about you. For example: "I am the righteousness of God in Christ. I am made acceptable in the Beloved. God created me and formed me with His own hand and God doesn't make mistakes." I like to start my day saying good things about myself, the day, my future, etc., perhaps while you're taking a shower, driving to work, or cleaning the house. I also encourage you to look at yourself in a full-length mirror and say out loud, "God loves you, I love you, and I accept you." Also, you might try giving yourself a hug. This is very beneficial to people who have lacked love and acceptance in their lives.
4. Never compare yourself with other people. God must love variety or we wouldn't all look different. We are all created differently even down to our fingerprints. You'll never succeed at being yourself if you're trying to be like someone else. Other people can be a good example to you; but even then, good traits if duplicated will manifest differently through your individual personality.
5. Focus on your potential instead of your limitations. I read an interesting story about Helen Hayes. She was a great actress who was told in the early days of her career that if she were 4 inches taller she would be the greatest actress of her time. Helen was 5 feet tall. Her coaches tried various methods of stretching her but nothing increased her height. She refused to concentrate on the supposed limitation of being 5 feet tall and decided to concentrate on her potential. As a result, she was eventually chosen to play Mary, Queen of Scotland, one of the tallest queens who ever lived.
6. Find something you like to do that you do well, and do it over and over. If you spend your time doing things you're not good at, it will frustrate you and cause you to feel defeated and unsuccessful.
7. Have the courage to be different. Be a God pleaser, not a man pleaser. Read Galatians 1:10.
8. Learn to cope with criticism. If you dare to be different, you'll have to expect some criticism. Going along with the crowd when you know in your heart God is leading you in a different way is one of the reasons people don't succeed at being themselves. You won't like yourself very much if you go against your own convictions.
9. Don't let the way another person treats you determine your worth.
10. Keep your flaws in perspective. People with a high level of confidence have just as many weaknesses as people without confidence, but they concentrate on their strengths not their flaws or weaknesses. In conclusion, let me remind you of my opening statement. If you don't like yourself, you're not going to enjoy life very much.

Chrystabelle · Mar 23, 2006

I've noticed a very interesting pattern in this thread so far. The people with the low self-esteem are all women. The people trying to help them are all men. Very interesting....

Yes, I have also had a life-long problem with self-esteem. It must be something to do with hormones. They do say that testosterone causes a person to gain confidence and fearlessness.

Despite my advancing age I still feel pretty useless (but not pretty anymore! )

My advice to all the young women here is to try very hard to make the most of your lives whilst you are still young. Try very hard to believe in your self-worth.

Achichem · Mar 23, 2006

Does anybody else hate themselves so much that they don't believe they have anything good inside?

I certainly have in my past

No matter what anybody tells them they can't believe it?

I would say there a specific reason for that, the level Ive seen most people use to advise on this is based on surviving, which in and of itself does not have the power to overcome the dominate shame that is at the root of this feeling.

Does that seem possible to you? After all its just a hunch.

Did something happen that changed the way you saw yourself?

Yes and I thank G-d everyday for it

Now I figure you want to know what, and I would certainly be happy to tell you if youd like, but truthfully I dont think it will help. I think its more important to establish instead your root cause. My cause is probably not yours, but Im sure they have similarities and together we can find it. What I can promise you is no matter what the cause, it is not simply a lack of you understanding something or not seeing something, instead it is an inherited underlying belief(feeling) which is restricting your ability to react and hence self-worth.

Peace,
Conrad

Linux98 · Mar 23, 2006

TLB said:
Does anybody else hate themselves so much that they don't believe they have anything good inside? No matter what anybody tells them they can't believe it?

I'm not looking for advice, just want to know if anybody's in the same boat.
Some people have tried to help and I appreciate their efforts but nothing works.

I never hated myself, I just had very low self worth. The more I focused on myself and my circumstances the worse it would get. When I forced myself to get up and start helping other people I started to feel better. It wasn't the only thing, but it certainly had a positive effect in the right direction.

Of course, I was extremely selfish and critical before that - which could have had a bearing on why helping other people helped me. So it may be that we each need to try different things to overcome the low self esteem.

Silver-winged Flyer · Mar 25, 2006

Thanks for the advice and I really hope it helped some people but I'm beyond help.
I'm of no value to anybody, my time here on earth is meaningless. I don't know why people put up with me, I'm just a burden to everybody.

ArmouredSaint · Mar 25, 2006

For awhile I did. I've healed up alot the last year. Hope you have brighter days.

Daysoni · Mar 25, 2006

I feel this way almost daily. I have so much doubt and self hate that I know longer know what I truely look like. My appearance to myself is so warped. But there are some days that are ok. I just keep looking for more of them.

LoG · Mar 25, 2006

I suffered from it for many years but using some of the points mentioned by Unitynlove in post #12 it has improved tremendously. It didn't change overnight but progressively improved as I stopped the negative self-talk.
Thank God.

Mrs. Luther073082 · Mar 25, 2006

TLB said:
Does anybody else hate themselves so much that they don't believe they have anything good inside? No matter what anybody tells them they can't believe it?

I'm not looking for advice, just want to know if anybody's in the same boat.
Some people have tried to help and I appreciate their efforts but nothing works.

I hated myself at one point, but I definitely don't anymore.

Thanks for the advice and I really hope it helped some people but I'm beyond help.
I'm of no value to anybody, my time here on earth is meaningless. I don't know why people put up with me, I'm just a burden to everybody.

You are of value to GOD.

Who do you feel like you are a burden to and why?

I felt like I was a burden to everyone at one point, too. Those feelings led to me feeling suicidal, but fortunately, I didn't act on those feelings -- if I had of, I would never have had the opportunity to feel better.

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Self-worth

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