Second guessing yourself

aflower4God · Jul 25, 2010

Has anyone doubted that they were good enough for others?
This happens to me ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL THE TIME,
hince my social phobia.
I am always comparing myself to others, like my best friend for an exammple. She is a very smiley outgoing person people tend to talk to her more cause of this.
I start to second guess myself and then I think that I am worthless. I have always been like this since I can remember.
Have you gone through this? Or are you going through this?

KarateCowboy · Aug 2, 2010

I've gone through it. If you test your worries you'll find yourself more at ease.

1) Consider a possible action.
2) Acknowledge the concern you have that might go wrong
3) Take the action.
4) See if that problem occurred.

Example from my life:
1) I want to ask my boss for a raise
2) But if I ask him for a raise he might be offended and become confrontational, and that would be bad.
3) I tried it
4) He said "We'll give you a review, and see what we can do." I got a review, and they gave me a raise. So my worry was overblown, and my original decision to ask for a raise was not so dangerous as I thought.

You have a lot of talents, for sure, and you can trust your judgments. God gave you a smart brain and you can do it!

aflower4God · Aug 2, 2010

Thank you my dear sweet loving brother,
What wonderful advice. God bless you and LOTS OF LOVE to you
{{{{{{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}

april_eric_always_forever · Sep 16, 2010

I've been through this many many a time. I'm an introvert. I don't handle stress well and deal with troubles like this. I have a bad habit of comparing myself to others and when I do I always seem to fall short. My husband constantly reminds me that I only need to be the best me I can be. I don't have to try to be as good as I perceive someone else is. It's a hard thing to remember. I don't have it all straight in my mind all the time yet, but I do know that God created us all uniquely with different strengths, gifts, and abilities and we must try to focus on using what we have / can do rather than where we lack...

goldenviolet · Sep 16, 2010

the biggest fight we have is all in our head. it's partly spiritual, and partly our mental make up. we all have these issues, though some of us it is an exstreamly bigger trial.
i am one of these people too.

the Lord taught me somethings very valuable.
i'm not alone.
i can learn to teach myself different managing skills.
i am normal.
i have a huge heart.

i'm not alone. this crazy world is all about competition, fast pace multitaskers, little emotion; infact lack of emotion. i'm normal. i have emotions that i can proudly wear on my sleeve. there is thousands of people who stuff it all in. stuck-it-up. there's no room in the 'real world'. people don't cry in public (unless your a toddler).. people are afraid to show anything less than a powerful personality. the truth is the only thing we need is room to be ourselves. only we can do this (give yourself and permission). others won't, they just don't understand it all. we have to change our mental thinking towards understanding our big sensitive hearts are needed in this life. the big powerful people of this world need to move over and learn from us. we need to just be ourselves. we may have some trials in managing our issues, but we are neither stupid or worthless. we infact are blessed with many things inspite of our misunderstood personalities.

april_eric_always_forever · Sep 16, 2010

goldenviolet said:
the biggest fight we have is all in our head. it's partly spiritual, and partly our mental make up. we all have these issues, though some of us it is an exstreamly bigger trial.
i am one of these people too.

the Lord taught me somethings very valuable.
i'm not alone.
i can learn to teach myself different managing skills.
i am normal.
i have a huge heart.

i'm not alone. this crazy world is all about competition, fast pace multitaskers, little emotion; infact lack of emotion. i'm normal. i have emotions that i can proudly wear on my sleeve. there is thousands of people who stuff it all in. stuck-it-up. there's no room in the 'real world'. people don't cry in public (unless your a toddler).. people are afraid to show anything less than a powerful personality. the truth is the only thing we need is room to be ourselves. only we can do this (give yourself and permission). others won't, they just don't understand it all. we have to change our mental thinking towards understanding our big sensitive hearts are needed in this life. the big powerful people of this world need to move over and learn from us. we need to just be ourselves. we may have some trials in managing our issues, but we are neither stupid or worthless. we infact are blessed with many things inspite of our misunderstood personalities.

loved the reply it's so hard to realize that it's okay to be the way God created us. When society seems to say around every corner that we're strange, that we don't fit in, that we're not good enough. Why is it that the demons seem to be at work in every single day. It's a fight that we have to do sometimes it's very hard and sometimes we are overpowered but we have to keep getting back up and trying to remember that we are "Free to be You" as the song by Franscecca Battichelli says (or however you spell her name)

Chococat · Sep 24, 2010

aflower4God said:
Has anyone doubted that they were good enough for others?
This happens to me ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL THE TIME,
hince my social phobia.
I am always comparing myself to others, like my best friend for an exammple. She is a very smiley outgoing person people tend to talk to her more cause of this.
I start to second guess myself and then I think that I am worthless. I have always been like this since I can remember.
Have you gone through this? Or are you going through this?

I have that problem myself a lot of the time. I am getting better now that I have made some good friends but I still feel that way sometimes. If a friend seems a bit down or irritable I tend to think it must have been something I said or did and that she is going to dump me. Also I don't much like meeting new people as I always worry that they won't like me.

aflower4God · Sep 24, 2010

Chococat said:
I have that problem myself a lot of the time. I am getting better now that I have made some good friends but I still feel that way sometimes. If a friend seems a bit down or irritable I tend to think it must have been something I said or did and that she is going to dump me. Also I don't much like meeting new people as I always worry that they won't like me.

(((((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))))))
Oh my goodness you sound JUST LIKE ME. I totally understand how you feel. I dunno about you but when I am talking to someone in person I start to sweat. I dunno why but I do. Even if I am talking to an associate at a store.
God bless you and LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU (((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))

StarsInUrEye · Sep 25, 2010

I do have this problem too. unfortunately even when I start to feel comfortable and like I am good enough my passed mistakes come back and bring me down. I have nothing to offer. literally just my love and that has been proven to not be enough. not only am i not good enough but i have a lot of baggage that even if i were good enough that brings me back down to not being good enough again.

Poweranimals · Nov 10, 2010

I know the feeling. I second guess myself constantly even with simple things. Even with this reply, I'm wondering if it sounds good enough to post or not.

UnitynLove · Nov 11, 2010

YouTube - PraisenWorshipJesus's Channel

Javanwarbler · Nov 17, 2010

Oh yeah! Especially over the last several months starting a new job. I find so many insecurities within myself esp. when around other people. I'll get so unsure of things and feeling inadequate I literately can't talk.

Just the other day, I was to help keep track of fellow employees who went on break/lunch at work. I asked one of the main bosses if she took her break. It was a very vapid, spacey on my part, 'duh' moment and it came through loud and clear in the main boss's very annoyed response.
I was even told several times not to worry about bosses' breaks because they didn't have to announce it like the workers need to or need to be reminded to take their spaced out breaks and lunch. One or two of them had seemed to like or at least didn't mind me checking with them if they took a break. Some of them go long hours without one even though the law states ( and the company takes it very seriously) you need to have a 15 minute break after 4 hours work, and a lunch after 6 hours work. There were at least 5 people in the supervisor category among the others on the list I was to keep track of.
Unfortunately, these absentminded moments happen a lot! Not just a slip here or there.

Embarrassing social stuff like this happens to me constantly now. I've become so afraid of people, it's ridiculous!

I hope it gets better for you and you find comfort we have a God who doesn't feel that way about us!

Godspiritlivesinyou · Nov 18, 2010

aflower4God said:
Has anyone doubted that they were good enough for others?
This happens to me ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL THE TIME,
hince my social phobia.
I am always comparing myself to others, like my best friend for an exammple. She is a very smiley outgoing person people tend to talk to her more cause of this.
I start to second guess myself and then I think that I am worthless. I have always been like this since I can remember.
Have you gone through this? Or are you going through this?

I can really relate to what you are saying. i do this because of my low self esteem and maybe even from anxiety and depression. My dad tells me that i have that type of personality but i find it harder to jump in and just start talking unlike my friends that make it look so easy but i try to remember the good things about myself and try not to compare myself to others easier said than done but i keep trying with help from god.

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Second guessing yourself

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