Resisting temptation

cowfire19 · Oct 12, 2009

I am currently engaged and have had pre-marital sex. We had sex twice and I regret it. I have prayed about it and asked for forgiveness, but how do I resist the urge to have sex with her in the future (until we get married)? It is hard to fight off desires when we aren't together and being together is almost impossible to resist, what should I do or pray?

thats the problem, she doesnt want to wait....i dont WANT to wait, but I know God wants us to.

Wedjat · Oct 12, 2009

Talk with her, the decision to or not to have sex should be mutual.

Beminde · Oct 12, 2009

I agree, talk with your girlfriend. And avoid situations where it's hard to resist.

Jarrodis · Oct 12, 2009

cowfire19 said:
I am currently engaged and have had pre-marital sex. We had sex twice and I regret it. I have prayed about it and asked for forgiveness, but how do I resist the urge to have sex with her in the future (until we get married)? It is hard to fight off desires when we aren't together and being together is almost impossible to resist, what should I do or pray?

thats the problem, she doesn't want to wait....i dont WANT to wait, but I know God wants us to.

yep that is the problem, if both of you dont want to wait, u probably won't.

My sister had been going out with this guy for a year, and finally got engaged and waited till they where married, cause they wanted to, not just because God wanted them to wait. God gave us free will, so if he wants you to wait,and you don't want to. It's going to be easy to go with what you want.

I could tell you to try and stay away from situations where you will not be tempted, but you will both have to learn to overcome the temptation and not just avoid it.

srry if this didn't help, im not good with words

explodingboy · Oct 12, 2009

If neither of you want to wait,

perhaps you should make that your starting point. You either change that, or nothing is going to work, and if your going to get all guilty feelings after the act, but you don't wish to stop.. then I think your relationship may need some real help.

StarryEyes · Oct 12, 2009

Matthew 26:41

"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."

Luke 22:40

On reaching the place, he said to them, "Pray that you will not fall into temptation."

Luke 22:46

"Why are you sleeping?" he asked them. "Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation."

1 Corinthians 10:13

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

1 Corinthians 6:18

18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.

2 Timothy 3:16

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,

By the way.. thanks. I needed to be reminded of this as well! And I don't see anywhere the Bible talks about resisting temptation.. but it does talk about fleeing temptation.

Don't give up.... Keep seeking God. I know this is hard, I'm not trying to make it sound easy, but I know it's worth it.

Spirit_Star · Oct 12, 2009

If it is too much for you both perhaps you should both just elope and then it wouldnt be an issue. You can still have the wedding you planned if you want. If you truly both want to do what God wants you to do then you should not put yourself into the situation where you will be tempted this may consist of never being alone together at least not in a situation that could lead to sex.

I would continue to pray and even get some guidiance from your spiritual leader.

BrokenWanderer · Oct 15, 2009

Ok, this is going to come off way harsh, but I've recently just come through the same thing that you have. So, let's begin.

First, why have you despised the Word of God? You know its sin, and yet you do it, and thus, have despised the Word(take for example, David and Bathsheba) Either the sin must stop, or you're going to continue in it, and it will destroy you.

Now, another question is this: why do you do the thing you know is wrong, yet you have no power to stop it, because you want to?

Just to be clear, I've gone through this. Its hard. Unfortunately, I found out some very hard things about myself, but the one thing I praise God for is that being caught in sin brought about my salvation.

If you want, I'll talk to you more in depth if you want to PM me, and then we can talk. I'll try to help you as best I can, as I am currently being discipled by my youth pastor(although technically, I'm not a youth), and will do my best to assist.

I'll be praying for you, brother.

Kol · Oct 15, 2009

Just start taking finasteride. It blocks the enzyme which converts testosterone into DHT. Not only will it help with male-pattern baldness (which I know you probably don't have), but it should knock your libido down a bit. You might even grow a nice set of boobs. Who knows?

BrokenWanderer · Oct 15, 2009

Kol said:
Just start taking finasteride. It blocks the enzyme which converts testosterone into DHT. Not only will it help with male-pattern baldness (which I know you probably don't have), but it should knock your libido down a bit. You might even grow a nice set of boobs. Who knows?

Interesting alternative...not the answer though.

Heritage · Oct 15, 2009

Kol said:
You might even grow a nice set of boobs. Who knows?

Sexy....

I'm sure that would tone her libido down a bit too, eh?

CrystalBrooke · Oct 15, 2009

If you don't want to wait, then you're probably not going to stop having sex. Other than that..all I have to say is to grow up and learn some self control, it's not impossible to not have sex when you're together...stop making such a fuss about it like you have no control.

cowfire19 · Oct 16, 2009

CrystalBrooke said:
If you don't want to wait, then you're probably not going to stop having sex. Other than that..all I have to say is to grow up and learn some self control, it's not impossible to not have sex when you're together...stop making such a fuss about it like you have no control.

That sounds simple enough, but if it is just so easy as to "grow up and learn some self control" why do people fall to temptation all the time? Your right, its not impossible but it can be very difficult, thus I'm seeking help.

BrokenWanderer · Oct 16, 2009

cowfire19 said:
That sounds simple enough, but if it is just so easy as to "grow up and learn some self control" why do people fall to temptation all the time? Your right, its not impossible but it can be very difficult, thus I'm seeking help.

Cowfire, can you explain to me why you do what you know is wrong?

Everyone else: if you are not a youth minister, or ordained minister, or have not gone through something similar: I'd highly recommend that you keep your peace, and not offer ridiculous advice, like the following: "grow up and learn some self control". We need to help this guy, and if you're going to do this, please...find somewhere else to offer nonsensical advice.

mytel · Oct 16, 2009

Just spend time reading the bible and spend some time deep in prayer. it can be hard, but if u truly want to make this change and wait for the right time, he will provide that path for u. But u have to want this change in ur mindset. I think u do want this change, and thats why u are posting here. But if u keep telling yourself that u 'dont want to wait', well then obviously u wont wait. Your thoughts control your actions. So tell yourself that 'u do want to wait', and be strong. Remember God does not allow us to be tempted any more than we can handle.

BrokenWanderer · Oct 16, 2009

mytel said:
Just spend time reading the bible and spend some time deep in prayer. it can be hard, but if u truly want to make this change and wait for the right time, he will provide that path for u. But u have to want this change in ur mindset. I think u do want this change, and thats why u are posting here. But if u keep telling yourself that u 'dont want to wait', well then obviously u wont wait. Your thoughts control your actions. So tell yourself that 'u do want to wait', and be strong. Remember God does not allow us to be tempted any more than we can handle.

Very true, however, mindset is not always what causes you to do so. I ended up having premarital sex, when I always told myself I never would. The problem was actually far deeper than just a mindset, and as I have asked once, I will ask again: why do you do what you know is wrong, cowfire?

cowfire19 · Oct 16, 2009

BrokenWanderer said:
Cowfire, can you explain to me why you do what you know is wrong?

Everyone else: if you are not a youth minister, or ordained minister, or have not gone through something similar: I'd highly recommend that you keep your peace, and not offer ridiculous advice, like the following: "grow up and learn some self control". We need to help this guy, and if you're going to do this, please...find somewhere else to offer nonsensical advice.

Not really...I guess because I am a sinner? And for this particular sin when the temptations come and urges rise it kind of blurs everything out. I don't think about how I am going against God until the deed is done i suppose

BrokenWanderer · Oct 16, 2009

cowfire19 said:
Not really...I guess because I am a sinner? And for this particular sin when the temptations come and urges rise it kind of blurs everything out. I don't think about how I am going against God until the deed is done i suppose

Ok, how often do you find yourself in a positions that puts you in danger of doing this?

Also: why have you despised the Word of God? You knew it was wrong. Yet you've done it. Just as David slept with Bathsheba, and then had her husband, Uriah the Hittite killed(essentially murdered, because he had him sent to the front lines, which in that time meant almost certain death). David was later confronted by the prophet, Nathan, who made known his sin in front of the entire court.

Another question I must ask: is it love you have for this young woman, or is it lust? Your actions say the latter.

CrystalBrooke · Oct 16, 2009

Ah yes..I don't like what you have to say so keep it to yourself..*rolls eyes*. I'm not sure you know how a public forum works yet.

Anywho, if I must say something more to your liking I guess I could add...pre-marital counseling. Seriously, it might do you and her some good to go. Talk these things out with your pastor, or at least a minister..but preferrably someone who knows you, they may be able to help you more than some random joe off the street (or the internet)

BrokenWanderer · Oct 16, 2009

CrystalBrooke said:
Ah yes..I don't like what you have to say so keep it to yourself..*rolls eyes*. I'm not sure you know how a public forum works yet.

Anywho, if I must say something more to your liking I guess I could add...pre-marital counseling. Seriously, it might do you and her some good to go. Talk these things out with your pastor, or at least a minister..but preferrably someone who knows you, they may be able to help you more than some random joe off the street (or the internet)

To put it bluntly, what you said at first wasn't helpful. This guy is struggling with a sin, and wants to stop the sin, even though his flesh desires the sin, so yes, I will be quite short if you start being rather insensible and unhelpful. Its not a case of "I don't like what you say". Its a case of "Be helpful, or be quiet."

Resisting temptation

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I'm almost positive I don't care what you think

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