- Apr 7, 2016
- 14
- 3
- 42
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
The message at our church service yesterday was about repentance. With a new year kicking off soon, it was reiterated on numerous occasions that without repenting the rest of the spiritual journey or practices for 2020 would be irrelevant and meaningless. We were told that repentance was not about feeling terrible about sin or shaming ourselves, etc. but rather turning around and going in a new direction (following Christ completely). Of course I tried my best to repent of everything for the 1000th time and it just came back to me feeling terrible about my horrible past even though I have asked forgiveness as many times as I possibly could. I have screwed up so many times, I know I am a terrible sinner and it seems that I am unable to repent. The unbearable cycle continues. Of course, the person giving the message has stated before that not everyone will be able to get "right with God" (my summary). I don't believe their intent was to scare or hurt people but of course my OCD mind picked it up and ran with it. Someone else who heard the same thing was not bothered at all. This is just so exhausting. I know seeking any reassurance on this or any other blog is not recommended but I needed to get it off my chest again.