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Relationships

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penNpaper

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...is overrated?

My reasons are that our culture has Divorce Rates up the Roof doesn't matter if your a Believer or Non-Believer - it seems that it is filled with broken hearts more from (affairs, addictions, divorces, and ect)

Believers can struggle with addictions such as pornography, drug use, and so many other factors that cause their own relationship to fall apart.

Is it truly worth it in the end to be in a relationship and marriage when there so are much crap in this world - that you may think twice of getting into relationships to begin with?

I've had my moods from being content in Singlehoode, blissful relationships to crashing ones, missing being in a relationship, to now I'm happy if I'm single/married whatever the Lord wants me to have - I will be fine with it attitude.

I'm old-fashion and a gentleman that I do desire a relationship that can actually last until death but it seems like the old-days of a marriage and to have morals, values, and a family is no longer here in this country. Women can have equal rights - work, be a parent and a wife, and ect. I don't mind that at all - but it seems like our country is fading away from a lasting relationships and marriages where men aren't really men anymore but boys...and women aren't really women but girls...and the whole "let's play house" and "let's get married and if it doesn't work we can have an Divorce attitude"

I know what Divorce and do to a family for my own family been thru it but it seems like everyone gives up too easily and doesn't want to fix the issue in the relationship or marriage...and it is more easy to give up than to actually take up responsiblity and own up and be a Man or Woman.

So is being in a relationship just overrated or can it actually work in Christ?

God Bless,
Drew
 
I

ImperialPhantom

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Marriage and relationships have problems in this country, but there are problems with them both in every country. Not to mention, there have always been these problems, with the only difference being what people do about these issues. But judging by the fact that the divorce rate is not 100 percent, yes, obviously they can work. Your view is a little too pessimistic.
 
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Lena75

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It's not overrated and can be worked through in Christ if both are willing. Living in a fallen world is no picnic and it takes dedication and hard work, married or not just as it has for as long as there's been an Earth. There will always be joys and struggles. That's just life.
 
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Mrs. Luther073082

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Relationships can work if both people involved put the necessary work into them. The issue is you can only control yourself and not the other person. You can put your all into it, but if the other person doesn't want to try, there's nothing you can do. That's a risk you take when you get involved with anyone. Premarital counseling should be a good wake up call for anyone thinking about "playing house".
 
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E.C.

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This is because people are too scared to actually do the work that keeps a marriage going. This is also due to consumerism because marriage, like many other "things", is tossed away the moment it does not work (in the words of one priest I know, "tossed like a piece of toilet paper"). A lot of this also has to do with the fact that American Protestantism is nothing more than moralistic theism running off of emotionalism (laymen's terms: feel-goodery with little to no depth).

What is the cause of all of that? Pride and selfishness. Relationships are not about me, they are about "us". Like St. Paul said something about "one flesh". People forget that. A lot.
 
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Obzocky

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My personal opinion is that people underestimate the amount of work that goes into a long-term successful relationship, a lot of people push themselves full force into relationships based on small slithers of mutual attraction. That's wonderful, it can work, but it can also blind you to incompatibility until further along the line.

People get burned, they turn from hope, from potential, from love. They turn from it to avoid further hurt, but that's the point. You have to get hurt, not everyone does but you can benefit from it; realising where mistakes were made, looking back over why the seemingly perfect relationship ended in a way you never dreamed possible. This is what hurt and pain is for, so we can learn, rebuild and ultimately become stronger. In theory.

You can't go through life worried this may happen, or this, or even this. You have to take each day as it comes, plan for the future but do not let it worry you. He sees all, He knows all, each action has a reason regardless of what we think. I believe the morals still exist, the values are there, but we concentrate on the negatives; on those who separate for whatever reason. We shouldn't, we should not concentrate on these negatives, on dissolved relationships, even past failures. That hinders us from living, from God, from love.
 
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stormdancer0

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We have bought into the lie of the world that love is a feeling. That would mean when the feeling goes away, the love is gone.

Love is a decision. You decide you will be with this person and care for him or her for the rest of your life, no matter what. My husband and I have been married over 15 years. We have gone from home owner college instructors to being in public housing with him totally disabled. I've had people actually tell me "Why do you stay with him?" Because I love him - I decided to love him twenty years ago. The feeling is not always there, but human feelings are fickle. They change without notice and without reason.

There comes a time in every relationship where the newness is gone, the excitement is nowhere to be found, and you have to make a decision. Do I push through and deepen this relationship by being true to my promise, or do I move on and hope for better. God commands us to be loyal to our vows.
 
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SplendidTree

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I do not think they are overrated. My opinion is that you need two people willing to put effort in to keep things going. And putting God at the head of it all is essential. Also some people,(not all), have unreasonable expectations of what it is going to be and if it gets to hard want out. I agree with most of the posts here already so there isn't the most new I can say that they have not already.
 
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Daisy215

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I'm 18, so I wouldn't say I have a lot of expirence, but right now I'm in a relationship that has been working out. It's kind of given me hope that maybe they can.
But I'm also a child of divorce, so I think although I have hope I'm not going to set any expectations.
 
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Blank123

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they can work, and they're not overrated. The trick is to find someone who is willing to put the effort into making them work, and putting that effort in yourself. We live in a lazy self-obsessed culture that puts self first above everything else. Which makes marriage a disposable thing - if it feels likes its not working for me, or if its hard for me, then its okay to walk away. But thats not the way marriage was created.
 
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J

justaguy78

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I wouldn't say they are overrated but it is clear most people are simply not ready/designed for them which is why you get all the problems.

Society pushes this belief that you need to be with someone to be normal, happy and/or part of the group and because of that, many will seek out to be in one even if it isn't ideal and then that is when the problems start because you are with someone who really doesn't fit you.

Logically, if you are with the person who is 'perfect' for you then there will be very minor issues at best....the relationship will basically just act like a well oiled machine so to speak, not having many arguments and getting annoyed at each other to the point of wanting to be with someone else or be alone.

Some say you people need to be putting in effort but I think if two people are the ideal match that a lot of effort isn't really needed. Do people have to put in much effort with their best/closest friendships? I would say no so a relationship should be able to work on the same rules.

Another thing I think is many people have too much pride to end a relationship early on if they sense the person isn't the right one. They will figure they can try and make it work so they stick in it until they reach the breaking point and end it. That and they don't want to be single again so they just deal with it. I think this also helps explain a lot of divorces/break-ups.

I can freely admit I am not designed for just any relationship as it'd fail and only the perfect girl for me would make it work. There are things about me that would probably frustrate all but "the one"
 
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